


More Awful Than Men

by Amarissia



Category: Takumi-kun Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 10:11:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 57,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amarissia/pseuds/Amarissia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Takumi's phobia resurfaces, Gii is determined that everyone know what they really are to each other. But can he protect Takumi as much as he wants, when a dark figure from their past comes back into their lives? Rated serious M.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Here 'tis, the start of my very first Takumi-kun multi-chapter. I'm not sure yet how long it will be, but what I do know is that it will be quite dark at certain points, dealing with elements of consensual sex and non-con and memories of sexual assault. Some of it will be detailed. If you are sensitive to these subjects, I ask that you go no further. No point getting attached to a story you eventually won't be able to handle. I hate when I'm enjoying a fic and hit a deal-breaker.

Also, a bit of naughty language ahead, and there may be some use of Japanese words you all are probably familiar with. This fic begins at the end of the third movie and then goes off the canon story. Some things are changed, some details are totally made up, so expect a little possible divergence from canon. 

The idea behind this story is a wish of mine, that from movie 4 onwards, Takumi and Gii had been open about their relationship. If you've had that same desire, maybe you'll enjoy my version of how it could have been.  
I do not own the Takumi-kun story or characters, obviously. Thank you to Lattepuff and Princess Serenity-chan, my DaiMao queens.

"Man is something more awful than men, something more strange." - G.K. Chesteron

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 1 - One Word of Truth

Gii bent over Takumi in the dim light with the most reassuring expression he could muster. Gently gripping a thin shoulder, he knelt down before the younger boy, and waited for a faint smile before leaning in to kiss him. Takumi had pushed him away in panic only moments ago, so he was ready for fear, but found very little. He kissed back with no prompting, even leaned into the hand that stroked his cheek and hair.

Softness. Takumi was so soft over his slender body, as smooth and perfect as could be imagined, and Gii was certain no one else tasted so clean and sweet. He was pure, that was the perfect word, more innocent than a newborn somehow, even though between the two of them, Gii was the virgin.

Careful, careful, be careful with him. There was no protest when Gii tentatively touched the shirt, so he began to open it, to bare all that beauty. He had seen Takumi wearing this little only a few times, as shy as he was. When they were roommates, Takumi had usually changed in the bathroom, and he had let Gii unclothe him this way only twice. Gii found this simultaneously cute, frustrating, and puzzling, thinking that if he looked like Takumi, he would be insanely narcissistic, but of course Takumi was oblivious to his good looks, to the way even those who disliked him stared. Just like Gii was stared at, while all his attention was on his boyfriend.

Once the shirt was open, Takumi started to similarly disrobe Gii, while Gii's hands slipped down to Takumi's waist. Something about the thin curve into hip he found an incredible turn-on, and he pushed away an intense desire to see if he could get Takumi's pants off. (Takumi was too fragile right now, that could wait.) Instead, Gii shrugged off his shirt and kissed him again, sweeping the tender cavern with his tongue, and as always he found it intoxicating. He managed to maneuver Takumi to a rolled-out mat and crawled on top of him, where the kiss was continued.

He continually moved his mouth to Takumi's neck, addicted to its smooth perfection and the faint shiver kissing it caused. He felt Takumi arching into him, and was thrilled by the thought that he was turning him on, even a little. Takumi often sought his lips and Gii let him have them, but couldn't resist shifting to kiss all over his chest and stomach.  
His hands alternately held himself up and moved over Takumi's sides and legs, once brushing his crotch but moving instantly when a frightened sound was heard.

"Okay, baby, not yet," he murmured, and resumed a more chaste exploration.

He was thrusting against Takumi's thigh before he realized he was doing it. The knowledge came like a calm afterthought when the boy made a noise that was questioning, but not upset. So he kept it up, touching Takumi all over and feeling a faint disappointment that the other hadn't gotten hard. There's time. I'll have him forever, it's fine. I will have him forever, right?  
Gii came in his pants, caught his breath, and sat up, smiling tenderly when Takumi lifted himself up as well and looked at him with wide eyes. Gii edged closer, and spoke with an apprehension that was unlike him.

"Takumi, I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?" The look in his eyes intimated that he would do anything Gii requested.

"From now on, people are going to be talking about how we're together. It won't be easy for you, no matter what we do. In spite of that...will you stay with me forever? Will you be by my side always?"

"That sounds...kind of like a proposal."

_Oh, believe me, that'll come._ "Will you?"

A silence that lasted a lifetime, and a gorgeous smile. "Okay, Gii. I'll be your accomplice. I'll be by your side forever, as long as you want me."

Blinking back tears, Gii grabbed him into a tight embrace. "I more than want you. I need you to breathe. I swear, I'll do everything I can to make you happy."

"I'm happy just being with you. But Gii, I don't understand. Don't you want to keep our relationship a secret, because of the first-years?"

"Fuck them," Gii said in English before switching back to Japanese. "I went about this all wrong. They need to know what you are to me and that it's in their best interests not to bother you. I just, I can't be apart from you anymore. It was like my heart was being torn out, a little piece of it every day, and then I made your phobia return..."

"Gii." Takumi drew back, still holding Gii's shoulders. "You were trying to protect me, I know that now. And my phobia might have come back anyway. My doctor told me to expect both easy periods and relapses. You cured me, you love me, that's what matters."

"No one has ever loved anyone like I love you."

Takumi laughed softly. "Gii, you can't know that. What about Romeo and Juliet?"

"That was just infatuation."

"I always wanted to learn enough English to read that play. But I'm so awful."

"Your English is fine, but I'll read it to you. You need to come to America with me sometime."

"I'd be scared," Takumi said, squirming. "It's so violent, and my parents would never let me go."

"I'll convince them, and it's actually not like most Japanese think it is. The people are really nice, and they love us for our manga and video games. I can't even count how many otaku I've taken photos with."

"You didn't flirt with them, did you?"

"Takumi, since the day we met, the only one I've wanted has been you."

Takumi blushed, and wished he could remember that day more clearly. "Gii, we were only eleven."

"I knew. I knew right away, and it wasn't just infatuation."

"I was so nervous and foggy that day," Takumi admitted. "I barely recall it at all. Will you tell me about it?"

"Yes, and I have a picture of us that I'll give you a copy of. But not right now, we need to get back so we don't miss curfew."

"Okay - Gii!"

Instead of helping his boyfriend up as he usually did, Gii leaped onto him and began to tickle, wiggling his fingers against Takumi's sides and ribs. Takumi shrieked in surprise and protest, but couldn't help laughing, a long and lovely sound like windchimes in the breeze of a spring day. He shoved at Gii but couldn't dislodge him for long, and Gii laughed too in the relief of a weight off his shoulders. Takumi was his now. No one and nothing would take him away.

_tgtgtgtg_

Misu greeted Takumi's return with a knowing smirk. "You have your usual glow back, Hayama. I'm guessing you and Saki are all right now."

"We are. Misu-kun, are you the reason Gii went looking for me?"

The taller boy shrugged. "I hope he groveled on his knees and begged for forgiveness."

"He was very sorry. What did you say to him?" On the way back to the dorm building, Gii had off-handedly warned Takumi not to get too close to his roommate.

"Sorry, that's classified." Misu approached, stretching out a hand, drawing back when Takumi flinched. "Looks like he didn't cure you."

"I'm okay with Gii touching me. I guess no one else, for now." Takumi bowed low. "I'm sorry. Please remember it's nothing to do with you."

"Don't be so formal, Hayama. I need to speak with Nozawa, I'll be back soon." Misu opened the door, then paused. "Hayama. Please don't interpret this as pressure, but I hope someday you'll tell me what caused your phobia. I would really, really like to be told I'm wrong."

He was gone the next moment, leaving Takumi not knowing what to think.

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi was deep in a mess of jumbled thought the next morning as he walked to Shidou's main school building. He knew he ought to be purely happy to be back with Gii, and he was, but did that really mean they were going to be open about their relationship again? The previous year, their classmates had reacted with hardly more than a little teasing, but what would the first-years do? How would Gii's parents react when they found out?

_And how will mine? Even if Mother doesn't care, Dad -_

"Takumi!"

Toshihisa slung an arm around him from behind, and Takumi jerked away with a gasp. His friend stumbled a little, then looked worried.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean - "

"I've told you, Takumi, don't apologize for this sort of thing. I shouldn't have touched you without making sure first. I just figured you were okay now that you and Gii are back together."

"I'm okay with Gii, just not - wait, how did you know?"

"Didn't you know? Gii's been telling our whole grade about how he faked only being your friend to protect you from being bullied, but that now he'll just make suffer anyone who bothers you. He's giving out a real back-off-he's-mine vibe. What's it like to be with someone so protective?"

Takumi groaned, covering his eyes with one hand. "That idiot."

"So, it's not cool?"

"How could he do this without asking me?"

"He didn't clear it with you at all?" Toshihisa asked.

"Well, he mentioned it, but I didn't think he'd be so obvious."

"It's a good strategy, you've got to admit. Practically everyone here has a family that wants them to stay on Gii's good side, especially the first-years. Looks like you'll be safe from here on out. I'm glad."

Takumi smiled weakly. "Gii always means well, but he does some idiotic things. His parents are bound to find out about us now."

"So? They'll probably like you."

"They must want Gii to have an heir, and I'm not a girl."

"You can borrow my sister's clothes when you meet them." Toshihisa grinned at Takumi's rolling eyes, and they began to walk. "Anyway, who cares? Adopt, use a surrogate mother. You don't need to worry about that yet."

They passed by two second-years, who bowed to them as they walked by, but didn't keep their whispers soft enough to go unheard.

"That's him, the shorter one."

"He's pretty, especially for a commoner."

"Still, I wonder what Saki wants with him."

"Ignore them, or I can thrash them if you want," Toshihisa said quietly.

"I'm fine." But Takumi's eyes were firmly glued to the ground.

_tgtgtgtg_

They reached the hallway they had been heading for, and separated, Toshihisa bound for French class, Takumi for history. He got to the open door just as Akaike did, and the taller boy gave him a tight but sympathetic smile.

"Hi, Hayama. Ready to kill Gii yet? I may be willing to let you."

"Is he really telling everyone..."

"He even threatened me, and I have a girlfriend at home." Akaike hmmed as Takumi looked like he wanted to crawl into a locker and hide. "Well, everyone knew you were together anyway, I think."

"Akaike-kun, will Gii's parents hate me?"

Akaike seemed surprised by the question. "I doubt it. You're likeable, and they're pretty nice people. And considering Gii's been in love with you since we were kids, and never hid it, they won't be surprised, I imagine."

"Gii talked about me?"

A smirking laugh. "If I had a yen for every time I heard Gii pine for his 'adorable violinist soul mate,' I'd be rich. Well, richer."

"I can't believe this..."

"Class is about to start. May as well get the staring over with right?"

Sure enough, when Takumi entered the room, everyone looked long and hard at him, and a few murmured to each other. Gii seemed unbothered by this, pacing right up to his boyfriend, lifting his hand and pressing a lingering kiss to his palm. "Good morning, baby," he said in English, and Takumi's body temperature rose several degrees.

"Gii..."

"I'll be good, I'll be good. I just couldn't resist."

As they sat down at their shared desk, their neighbor Ozawa winked and said, "Nice catch, Saki."

Gii seemed to consider scowling and making threats, but finally grinned. "Thanks."

"How'd you warm up someone so cold?"

"So, are you guys doing it?"

"Does he really let you touch him?"

"Does he flinch in bed too?"

The students were spared Gii's wrath by Ishiki-sensei calling them to order. He resumed their continuing discussion of the American Civil War, and Takumi took notes, trying to ignore the staring that had not ceased. Gii, familiar with the subject from attending school in the U.S., merely smiled dreamily into space and held Takumi's free hand under the table. Every so often, he would glance at Takumi as though checking on him, and the smile would brighten. Once he wrote their names in romaji on a slip of paper, with a heart between them, and placed it on Takumi's lap.

After class was over and they were walking to their next lesson, Takumi asked something he had just wondered. "Gii, do Americans learn our history?"

"Very little of it. I had a private tutor to teach me Japanese writing and history. Mostly in the U.S. we learn World War II stuff." Gii snickered. "Don't ever visit Pearl Harbor, by the way. Some guy actually tried to pick a fight with me for being there. One of my security guys almost broke his arm."

"Security guy?"

"Yeah, I have to have them with me sometimes," Gii said glumly, "in places that are high-risk for kidnapping and stuff."

"Gii, are you in danger?"

"Not here, Shidou is remote. Don't worry about me, baby. I may have some French blood, but my Japanese side is fearless."

"You're part French? I feel like I know nothing about you."

"I've told you, you know the most important thing. But you can ask me anything you want."

They had reached their calculus class, though, so there was no time to keep talking. The conversation didn't really resume until lunch period, when they were sitting on the sun-drenched grass with the bento boxes they had bought. Takumi was too nervous yet to ask about Gii's parents, so he went with the other heaviest thing on his mind.

"Gii, will you tell me about the day we met?"

Gii smiled nostalgically, leaned back on his hands, and began to speak what he remembered.

_tgtgtgtg_

Eleven-year-old Saki Giichi pulled away from his parents the moment the curtain closed. He was supposed to be waiting to congratulate Sachi on his outstanding performance, but ever since the second performer had started to play, Gii had not heard anyone else make a sound. Blood was roaring in his ears, a feeling he could not name was rushing through him. Exhilarating, wonderful, but sad too, like the end of something, or the beginning of having or losing something. Somehow, he knew now, those two things were the same.

Aware that his father's guard Nishi was following him but uncaring, Gii moved quickly through the taller crowd, looking desperately around. He felt a brief annoyance that everyone in this country looked so similar, then his heart skipped a beat. There he was, near the far left wall, looking sad as he had while playing, standing next to a group of chatting adults. He was by far the most adorable thing ever, even in Japan where cuteness was revered and everywhere.

Gii nearly shoved his way through the crowd, and finally reached him. "Hi," he said in an embarrassingly shaky voice.

Large, beautiful eyes looked at him, nervously but with curiosity. He seemed to be waiting for something. _Oh, right._ Gii bowed, and the boy hesitantly did the same.

"You play really well. It was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard."

"Thank you," the boy said quietly. He seemed very distracted, as though much of him was elsewhere and occupied.

"My name is Giichi." Gii didn't like being addressed by his family name, even here where doing so was the norm.

"I'm Takumi."

_That's the cutest name ever. How can one person be so cute?_

"Saki-kun." Nishi, holding a camera he'd been using during the recital, appeared, his timing awful as always. "I do wish you wouldn't run off like that."

"It was important. Hey, Nishi, take our picture."

"Whose?"

"Mine and my new friend's. You don't mind, do you, Takumi?"

"Um..."

"Great!"

Used to getting his way, Gii stood at the wall next to the shorter boy and smiled. Nishi obediently snapped two shots. For the third, Gii impulsively tried to put his arm around the other, only to see, perplexed, Takumi whimper and pull away.

"Takumi, are you all right?" A tall man in a suit noticed them and frowned at Gii. "I'm sorry, young man, but my son is very delicate and does not like to be touched."

"Please excuse me, I meant no harm. So, Takumi, do you want - "

"I think that's enough excitement for one day," the man interrupted, actually stepping in between the children. "Come on, Takumi, it's time to go."

"But," Gii stuttered as he watched them go, "at least let me give you my number! Wait!"

"Saki-kun, that boy obviously does not want to be friends. Don't be a bother to strangers."

"Takumi isn't a stranger, he's important to me!"

"You don't even know him. Come along, your father is waiting."

_tgtgtgtg_

"I think I remember now, a little," Takumi said, feeling overwhelmed by the story. "I'd had nightmares the night before, and I never felt like myself at times like that. My doctor called it dissociation."

"I felt bad later, for scaring you."

"It wasn't your fault. I was starting to get used to people avoiding me then, because I was so quiet and nervous. I didn't get why you were being so friendly." No longer hungry, Takumi offered his half-full bento to Gii, who happily began to eat from it. "I'm sorry about my father."

"He was just worried about you. Was he always like that?"

"After...Niisan, yes. He still is. He became really overprotective, I guess because he felt guilty for not stopping it, and for how my mother was." A dark expression had settled over Takumi's face. "That's one reason I came here, to get away from his hovering. He didn't want me coming here, he only let me because I was miserable at home. He didn't think I was strong enough for school at all, he wanted to hire tutors for me."

Gii stroked Takumi's arm over his jacket sleeve. "So you're not close to him?"

"He didn't notice me much at all, until after..."

Takumi trailed off, but his meaning was clear. Gii edged closer, draped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. He carefully removed something from his pocket and placed it in Takumi's hand. A photograph, from a fateful day. Takumi looked down at his own fear, at Gii's hope. It seemed amazing that they had found each other again. Unmei, Gii had called it. Destiny, an English word even Takumi knew.

"Thank you, Gii," he said, not referring only to the picture.

Gii smiled, and patted his own thigh. "Lay down."

"Eh?"

"Lay on my lap, rest till we have to go back. Look at the sky. It's beautiful. So beautiful," Gii said, looking lovingly at his boyfriend.

Usually it was Gii who got into this position, but Takumi shrugged and followed the suggestion. Gii's fingers threaded themselves into his hair to stroke the scalp, and the spring sun shone warmly upon them. It was comfortable, and Takumi didn't dare close his eyes for fear he'd doze off. Besides, Gii's eyes were above him, inviting and caring.

_Gii, will your parents hate me?_

"What are you thinking about, baby?"

"I'm trying to remember what I played at the recital."

"'Canon in D Major,' Pachelbel."

"Eh? You remember?"

"I had to give the private detective I hired as much information as possible."

"The what?"

Gii laughed. "I had to find you, didn't I? He wasn't very good, as it turned out. Your name isn't that common. Even without your family name, he should have been able to get some information. A phone number, even."

"My parents changed our number and made our address unlisted, so Niisan's friends would stop contacting us. And you didn't guess to look in Shizuoka, since we traveled quite a way for that concert." Takumi shifted a little. "I can't believe you went to such trouble. We had only talked for a moment."

"I can't explain it. I was so excited to see you, like I had loved you before and was remembering how," Gii said softly. "I know we've been together before. Maybe we were samurai lovers or something."

"We probably died violently, then."

"There will be no more violence done to you," Gii said solemnly, as the sunlight reflected the gold in his hair. "I'll make sure of that."

"Gii..."

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi hadn't felt this nervous since he and Gii's first kiss. He had a hunch why Gii wanted to meet with him at the top of the third-floor stairs, and as the elder came into view, it was confirmed. Gii was surrounded by his usual gaggle of first-years. As Takumi approached, they all stared, though they were too eager to curry favor to whisper.

Gii seemed cheerful, unfazed by this whole awkward thing. "Hi, baby, thanks for coming," he said, giving Takumi a brief kiss.

The staring was now slack-jawed gaping. "So it is true," one of them whispered, while another looked seriously pissed off. Gii cleared his throat for quiet, and slipped an arm around his boyfriend's waist.

"Listen up, all of you. This is Hayama Takumi. We are together and are always going to be, so any of you who have a problem with that can leave now." Gii shot a glare at the sulking one, who quickly made his expression neutral. "You'll be treating him with the same respect you give me. I won't order you to be his best pals or anything, but you will at least be courteous to him, and if you fail to do this, there will be consequences."

_Gii! What are you doing?_ Takumi looked at the floor, praying it would open up and swallow him.

"If you bully him, whisper about him, say anything inappropriate, if you so much as make him frown, that will be it. My family will never do business with yours again." Gii smiled bitterly as the color drained from their faces. "That's right. No warnings, one strike and you're out. Don't think you can get away with it. My eyes are everywhere. Understood?"

Six solemn nods.

"Okay, how about you introduce yourselves?"

The first, a heavy boy with glasses and curly hair, bobbed an excited bow. "Pleased to meet you. My name is Ishikawa Tetsuya."

The tallest of them nodded and spoke very softly. "Nomura Hozumi. How do you do."

A very good-looking boy flashed an attractive smile. "Sakuma Miki, drama enthusiast. I hope we can be friends."

The angry one spoke tensely. "Nice to meet you. Terazuma Shingou."

"Kandan Akira."

"Hondou Asato."

Takumi bowed, gratefully doing so a little lower and longer than one would normally do with juniors. "I'm very glad to meet you all."

"Excellent," Gii said merrily. "To the cafeteria, coffee's on me. I need caffeine to stay awake for their chattering," he said softly to Takumi.

It was strange to walk surrounded by such a group, each of whom was trying to get attention, get noticed, say the right thing. As usual, Gii hardly spoke to them, so they soon directed their efforts at Takumi.

"Hayama-senpai, I think I've seen you in the library. I love to read too, what books do you like best?"

"Mostly ones having to do with history. Japanese and English history, especially."

"Hayama-senpai, what's your favorite sport?"

"I'm not very good at any, but I used to play soccer."

"That's my favorite too, I'm on the school team. My dad owns the Hokkaido Snakes, you've got to come with me to a game sometime."

"Do you like American movies?"

"Yes. Gii and I recently saw 'Inception.'"

"Yeah, DiCaprio is good. Watch 'This Boy's Life' sometime, it's his best work."

Gii grinned as Takumi hesitantly fielded their questions, seeming to relax a little more with each answer. Takumi was really very warm once you got past his shields, and the first-years were really making an effort to open him up. Lost in relieved thought, Gii got ahead, only stopping when he heard Takumi gasp. Gii whirled around to find the boys backing away with their hands up in surrender, and Takumi catching his breath as color returned to his face.

"Gii-senpai, I'm sorry," said Terazuma, in a slightly odd voice. "I just touched his shoulder."

"Takumi, are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I startled you all, I'm fine."

"I forgot to tell you, Takumi is not to be touched, not even casually, he doesn't like it." Just to be safe, Gii grabbed his hand. "Let's go, I'll get you some chamomile tea."

"Gii, you know I hate that stuff."

"But it's good for you, it's relaxing."

"Don't act like my dad," Takumi laughed.

"Ooh, kinky."

"Gii!"

"Cute, aren't they," Sakuma whispered to Nomura.

"Hell yes we are," Gii concurred.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 2 - Grief Is Great

Despite Takumi's apprehension concerning Gii's threat, it seemed to work. There was still some staring from the first-years and others, but what Gii had said had clearly gotten around - he was being greeted with bows and respectful words rather than smirks or rude whispers. He was being invited places with them, asked for book recommendations. One or two boys even told him he and Gii made a good couple.

What mattered the most to Takumi, though, was how happy Gii seemed to be. At the start of the term, he had been so reserved and cold to cover his misery, and now it seemed the truth had set his heart free. He became the laughing, happy Gii that Takumi had first gotten to know, relaxed and unburdened now that he didn't have to worry as much about his boyfriend. He even greeted Misu in a friendly manner now, only to be met with stony silence. And it seemed like a minor detail, but Takumi was very glad to see that he no longer wore those awful glasses. Gii had said he'd done it because he could hardly see through the tears he'd been holding back.

"Ne, Gii," Takumi began as they walked to their second-period room, "why is it that you and Misu don't like each other? Neither of you have ever told me."

"I don't really know, to be honest. During first year, I got the yearly prize for English and he came in second, but that seems like a small thing to hate someone for."

"It seems strange for such a good student to be jealous of anyone."

"Or it could be because I have you."

"Eh?"

Gii scowled; in fact, it was closer to a pout. "He pretty much told me that if I didn't get you back, he'd take my place with you."

"What? Gii, you know he wasn't serious. We're just friends, and he has Shinyouji-kun."

"That's one of the reasons I don't like Misu. How can you treat someone you like as a pet, to be loved one moment and ignored the next? Maybe he has intimacy issues or something, like a lot of Japanese, but that's no excuse."

"Don't knock my people," Takumi laughed.

"Never. I love this country."

"Really? More than America?"

"Of course. It's where I found you."

They reached their History classroom, only to find an unfamiliar man standing behind the teacher's desk, scrawling 'Sex education lesson' on the chalkboard. He waited until everyone was seated before addressing them.

"Good morning, boys. My name is Kirishima, and I'll be replacing Ishiki-sensei for the day. Instead of your usual History lesson, we'll be taking this time to learn about sex and reproduction. I expect you all to behave like mature young men. Anyone making rude comments will be sent to the headmaster. Understood?"

Polite nods all around the room. Ozawa whispered, "Shield your eyes, Gii, lady parts coming up." Gii stuck his tongue out at him.

Takumi squirmed, feeling embarrassed already. Others soon joined him, shifting in their seats as vaginal intercourse was explained thoroughly and clinically, complete with rather graphic drawings. Takumi didn't find girls or heterosexual sex gross or anything. He was just uncomfortable with the subject as a whole. He didn't think it could get worse, but it did.

"Now, times have changed since I learned this stuff, so I've been ordered to also explain the mechanics of homosexual sex. Anyone who feels too uncomfortable may leave the room for this part."

Perhaps out of loyalty to Gii, perhaps to show how much they could handle, no one moved. In the midst of his rising uneasiness, Takumi felt oddly grateful.

"Okay. As you'll see here, anal intercourse works a lot like the vaginal sort. The lubricated penis is inserted into the orifice and pumped in and out. This small thing here is a gland called the prostate. When it's stimulated either by the penis or anything else, it causes a feeling of great pleasure, and ultimately aids in ejaculation. During ejaculation, the sphincter muscles contract, which feels good to the penetrator, and the pressure often prompts his own orgasm."

_"Takumi, you're so tight."_

Feeling dizzy, Takumi rose unsteadily to his feet. "Sensei, may I be excused? I don't feel well."

"Yes, that's fine."

Gii got up and followed without asking permission, and found Takumi trembling next to the door. "Baby, are you okay? What is it?"

"I'm fine...just...bad memory."

 _How did I not guess that?_ "Let me take you to the nurse and get you excused for the rest of the day. I'll skip and stay with you."

"Gii."

"Fine, I'll say I've got a headache. We're not covering much today anyway, and you're white as a sheet. Nurse Kaoru will give you a pass, I'm sure."

Sure enough, the kind nurse, who doted upon her teenage charges, took one look at Takumi's pale shaking and told him to spend the remainder of the day resting, and to take his anxiety medication. She didn't seem to believe Gii's excuse, but gave him a pass as well, with a knowing smile and an order to check on his friend. Gii followed Takumi to his dorm room, stopping on the way to get sodas from a vending machine, and once inside physically set the boy down on his bed and propped up the pillows behind him.

"You look a little calmer," Gii observed as the shorter boy swallowed his pill.

"I always feel better with you."

"I should have known that lesson would bother you."

"There was nothing you could have done."

"But I want to protect you, from everything."

"Gii, even you can't save me from what's already happened."

"I wish I could have."

Moved by the words and feeling bold, Takumi shyly took hold of Gii's arms and pulled him close. Their mouths met, moving in their usual needy dance, and Takumi required no prompting to part his lips and let his tongue be felt. Gii settled on top of him, pressed to all that lithe warmth, and slipped a hand under the white uniform shirt to rub circles into the skin. Takumi liked this and pushed up against the palm and fingers, only to stiffen up when it began to descend.

"G-Gii..." It was on his crotch now, and despite his curiosity, Takumi was scared.

"I won't if you don't want me to, baby. I just want to show you how good it can feel. I desperately want to make you believe that it doesn't have to hurt."

Takumi blinked burning eyes, gazing up into orbs glowing with love and sincerity. He did want to give this to Gii, only Gii, had for a while now. And it would be scary no matter when it happened. Why not now? Takumi bit his lower lip and nodded.

"Okay."

"Are you sure?" Takumi nodded. "Tell me if you get too scared. Just relax."

Fingers shaking with anticipation, Gii undid Taumi's pants and tugged them down just a bit, and the underwear, and there it was, as he'd imagined so many times. Soft, but he'd soon fix that. Gii put his hand around it, and smiled as Takumi suddenly inhaled.

"Relax and feel, baby."

Slowly, Gii moved his cupped hand up and down the shaft, watching Takumi's face for hints of fear. They were there, but overlayed by a growing like of this, and a confusion that Gii briefly wondered about. It took a bit longer than he'd expected, but it began to harden and darken with blood. Takumi, now breathing more heavily, glanced down and gasped.

"It's just me, look at me. Keep looking at me."

Takumi locked wide eyes on Gii's face, lips open to softly pant. His eyelids fluttered like birds' wings, and pleasure had overtaken the usual innocence of his face. Gii had always thought nothing was as beautiful as Takumi's chaste purity, but he was rock-hard himself just from the boy's expression. He kept all his attention on Takumi, though, on this monumental occurrence. Takumi was now unknowingly thrusting into Gii's hand, and his head lolled from side to side as though he were dreaming.

He seemed to awake, though, and the confusion outraced the enjoyment. "G-Gii," he gasped, "something's...happening..."

 _Why does he seem so..._ "It's okay, let it, it will feel good."

"Gii...Gii...I think...I'm..."

Rupture, and rapture. Takumi arched up, his head falling back, and with an uninhibited cry he painted Gii's waiting hand with white. Gii grabbed one of Takumi's hands and let it squeeze his, murmuring love and comfort as the boy came down. Takumi seemed dazed as Gii cleaned them off with tissues and refastened his pants. When he struggled trying to sit up again, Gii helped him and pulled the boy to his chest.

"Did you like it?"

"I - I never knew I could feel like that. Thank you, Gii."

Gii grinned. "Better than your own hand, right?"

Silence. _Could it be...no, impossible._

"Takumi, you have done this to yourself before, right?"

Nothing. _Oh my gods. That's why he looked so confused, he didn't know what was happening to him._

"Takumi?"

"It's weird, I know," he whispered into Gii's shoulder.

"It's not wrong or anything, I'm just surprised. I've been doing it since I was twelve. What did you do when you got hard?"

Takumi's face was so tightly against his shoulder that Gii had to strain to hear him. "I tried...a few times. But then I would remember Niisan, and I couldn't. So I'd just wait for it to go away. You don't think I'm a freak?"

Gii gently held Takumi to face him. "Are you kidding? Takumi, you gave me your very first time. Do you have any idea how honored I am? How happy?"

Takumi's nose cutely scrunched up in confusion. "Really?"

"Really. Thank you, baby."

"Gii. Um, are you...do you need to..."

Gii shook his head and chuckled. "Turns out that if I'm watching you, I don't even need to touch myself." He smiled at Takumi's blush and then, with a solemn expression, held him close again. "Baby, can we talk about something?"

"What?"

"...I've been trying to figure out the right way to say this. A way to not upset you."

"Gii, I love you. I'll always forgive you."

Gii pressed his nose into the silky hair and inhaled. "It's just...I feel like it would help me to know exactly what kind of touches will scare you, so I know when to reassure you. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

Some shifting, a short quiet. "You want to know specifically what Niisan did."

"Yeah. You don't have to, I'll understand."

"It's okay. Just...please hold onto me."

Gii tightened his hold. "Forever."

"I told you it began with touches, right? First it was my arms, then legs...then between my legs. I didn't think much of it, didn't really get scared until he started going under my clothes. A few times he did...what you just did, for a long time, like he was expecting something."

Gii pushed down his anger, spoke as softly as Takumi. "Probably for you to get hard. He must not have realized you were too young."

"One time...he used his mouth."

"Oh, baby."

"When nothing happened, he got angry and wouldn't speak to me for days. I was as much upset about that as I was the other things. Messed up, ne?"

"You were a kid, and there's no wrong way to feel."

"Then...that gloomy day came," Takumi murmured. "There was something different in Niisan's eyes, the way he pulled me close as if he wanted to dance. It's blurry, and it happened so fast. I was on my bed and he was taking my clothes off. He spread lotion on his fingers, and he put..."

Here Takumi's voice dissolved into sobs. Gii rocked him, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his back and whispering that everything would be okay, he was safe now. Eventually Takumi quieted, and seemed defiantly determined to finish the story.

"He put his...fingers in me. I told him it hurt, but I don't think he heard me. Then he turned me over. I didn't think it was possible to feel that much pain. Mother came in after he...pulled out. It's hard to remember, she was just crying and yelling. I showered and slept for a while, and when I woke up, my parents were arguing. Mother blamed me, Dad didn't."

"I think I may like your dad."

 _He won't like you, though. Not anyone I date._

"What did your parents do? How did they react to this?"

"My dad confided about it to a psychiatrist he knew," Takumi sighed into Gii's shoulder. "Dad is a prosecutor, he works with a lot of them. I think he expected the doctor to be understanding. Instead he exploded, threatening to report it to the police if Niisan wasn't put away somewhere."

"Is that when he was hospitalized?"

"It took about a year, they tried outpatient therapy first. But one day, Dad walked into my room and found Niisan holding me down. I was crying. He freaked out. Niisan left that day and I never saw him again."

Gii kissed the top of his head. "You can both love and hate a person, you know. If anyone's ever had a right to, it's you."

"Sometimes I'm glad he's dead. I just miss the person he used to be."

"Was that psychiatrist the one you see, Takumi?"

"Yes, Nobuta-sensei. He's very nice. I just don't like that he makes me remember it."

"Takumi, I called your illness 'human contact phobia.' Did the doctor have a name for it?"

"Haphephobia," the boy said dully. "Haphephobia resulting from rape trauma syndrome. That's what it says in my medical records."

"What a clinical term. It means a fear of being touched?"

"Yeah. I like your name for it a little better. I told Sensei about you, during our last break."

Gii smiled. "Have I been declared a bad infuence?"

"Ha. He called you a miracle."

"Little old me?"

Takumi chuckled quietly. "He said my case of haphephobia is one of the worst he'd ever seen. Some people live with it their whole lives, never getting better, but you cured me. He said that's amazing. Um, I didn't tell him exactly what you did, though."

A flash of nauseated pain twisted Gii's stomach. The memory of Takumi's fear, his own force. Takumi's panic attack, the grip of his clenched fist. The way he had relaxed afterward, touched back, sighed with pleasure, these things didn't make what Gii did right. The ends don't always justify the means, nothing made Takumi being afraid okay.

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

"Eh? About what?" Takumi seemed genuinely confused.

"I forced you. There's no excuse for that. Yeah, I thought it would help you, and I never would have if I'd known about your brother, but - "

"Gii, if you need to be forgiven, know that I forgave you a long time ago. I knew even then that you were just trying to desensitize me. I learned that word from Nobuta-sensei. We started off sitting far apart, getting closer with each appointment. Eventually we moved up to him touching my arm. After my last visit, thanks to you, I was able to hug him."

Gii ran his fingers down Takumi's cheek. "I'd like to meet him sometime."

"He said you can come with me for a session, if you want. I think he's eager to meet you too."

"Maybe he wants me to cure his other patients. Don't worry, my gropes are reserved for you."

"Gii..."

Gii guided Takumi's mouth to his own and kissed him, not too heatedly, not wanting to get worked up and need more than Takumi had already given today. He kept it slow and sweet, arms around the slight boy, rocking their bodies barely back and forth as though they were a boat on waves of churning water. Takumi melted into him, let himself be gently plundered...and then the door opened.

They sprang apart but not too hurriedly. As expected, the intruder was Misu, who had this period free for independent study. He smirked and shook his head.

"And here I thought you'd both be naked. I don't know whether to be grateful or disappointed. Stop scowling, Saki, it makes you ugly."

"You better not be wanting to see him - "

"Gii, please. Hello, Misu-kun. Did we miss anything important?"

"Hey, Hayama. Just a first-year puking in one of the corridors. The flu may be going around, so the infirmary is giving out masks."

Gii looked concerned. "I'll have my doctor come to give you a flu shot, Takumi."

"I never get the flu, even when people around me do."

"Maybe your body temperature is naturally too high. In other words, you're hot."

"How did you ever get him with lines like that, Saki?" Misu rolled his eyes as he began to open books at his desk. "Look, I don't care if you kiss, but I don't want to see body parts."

"He's got eyes in the back of his head," Gii whispered.

"I heard that."

Gii stuck out his tongue.

"I saw that."

Takumi giggled into his hand.

_tgtgtgtg_

Gii had a dorm head meeting that day during the dinner hour, so Takumi met up with Toshihisa and they began to walk to the dining hall together. Before they got far, a cry of "Hayama-senpai!" was heard behind them, and Takumi turned to find a breathless first-year approaching. Kandan Akira, he remembered.

"Hello, Kandan-kun. Did you need something? If you're looking for Gii, he's in a meeting, but he'll be done by seven-thirty."

"Actually, I wanted to see you. It's...well..."

Being shy himself, Takumi felt sympathetic. "You can tell me, go on."

"Our first soccer game of the term is in three days, against the Tigers friom Torama High School. I thought maybe you and Gii-senpai would like to come and cheer us on. The Tigers are undefeated for the past two years, but we've got a new assistant coach."

Takumi smiled beautifully. "I would love to come, and I'm sure Gii will too."

"Great! You're really cool, Hayama-senpai. See you!"

With a deep bow, the boy dashed off. Toshihisa sent Takumi a bemused look as they began to walk again.

"Wow. What a change in so short a time. And to think, I was so worried about you getting involved with Gii."

"You were? Why?"

"I thought he was a typical snobby rich kid used to getting his way. Sure, he always stuck up for you, and once for me too, but I thought it was just to feed his ego, protecting the two sad little commoners. But it turns out he's pretty cool."

Takumi smiled. "I always wondered why Gii defended me, and why Akaike-kun always showed up when I was in trouble. Gii was looking out for me even then, even when I was so cold to him."

"Well, to be fair, you were pretty cold to everyone. It even took you time to warm up to me."

Takumi laughed. "Do you remember that night before mid-terms? We were studying so intently we missed dinner."

"And we snuck down to the kitchens to raid them in the middle of the night."

"You almost started a fire trying to grill a cheese sandwich."

"Hey," Toshihisa defended himself, "I had never cooked before!"

"Then you ate so many doughnuts, you nearly got sick."

They got into line and, because their tastes were so similar, ended up choosing the same dinner - curry rice, an apple, bottled water, and vanilla pudding. They sat down at a table where Misu was finishing up, eating more quickly than usual.

"What's the rush, Misu-kun?"

"Yeah, you practically ran out of calculus today before the chime."

"Classified," the boy said shortly, nodded, and left.

"Hmm, I wonder what he's up to."

I hope he's not seeing someone new. Come to think of it, I haven't seen much of Shinyouji-kun. He'd be heartbroken if Misu liked someone else.

"So, you really think you can drag Gii to the soccer game?"

"I think so. Gii's said soccer is a more European thing than American, so he doesn't know it well, but he doesn't seem to dislike it."

"And he'd go anywhere for you."

Takumi blushed, mentally blaming it on the spiciness of the curry.

"Are you still worried about his parents?"

"I'm trying not to be. It's not like I'm going to meet them very soon or anything. But truthfully, yes."

"I've heard his dad's nice. Donates to charities and hospitals, that sort of thing."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Like Gii, who always helps everyone with English."

Takumi smiled. "He started reading 'Romeo and Juliet' to me."

"I like that one, though I've only read the translation. What part are you up to?"

A sigh. "Where Juliet's parents tell her she has to marry someone else."

"Don't stress, Takumi, there's no way Gii would choose anyone over you, even if his parents tried to make him. Besides, if anyone's Juliet, it's you."

"Hey!" Takumi tossed an apple core at his friend.

"I could retaliate with my curry, you know. Gii's not here to shield you."

"I can take care of myself, you know."

Toshihisa grinned. "The whole point of love is that you don't always have to."

_tgtgtgtg_

As they had earlier agreed, Takumi went to Gii's room when the meeting concluded. Gii was thrilled to see him and kissed him fervently, but he seemed preoccupied, which Takumi questioned.

"Well, I talked to my parents a little while ago."

"I thought I heard you being summoned to the phone. Is everything okay?"

"Uh-huh. I was gonna keep it secret a little longer, but I arranged a surprise for you."

"A surprise? What is it?"

Gii lifted Takumi's hands and held them. "The old concert hall isn't getting torn down."

"Eh? But the notice said..."

"My family is having it converted into a practice area for music and crafts. I thought you might like to practice your violin there, in the place that's so special to us."

The younger's eyes threatened to fill. "Gii," he whispered, and grabbed him in a tight hug.

"I thought you'd like it. There's one thing you might not like, though."

"What?" _Please, not..._

"My parents are visiting in a few days, to sign some papers. They want to meet you." Gii went on quickly, hoping to ease the fear in Takumi's face. "It's okay if you don't want to yet. But if you do, I promise I'll be right with you. They're nice, they won't be mean to you or anything."

"...okay."

"Are you sure, baby?"

"I can do anything, if it's for you."

Gii beamed. "They're really curious, since they've heard so much about you, even more so since we met again. I think they used to believe I imagined you. I was afraid I did too, now and then, that's why I keep copies of our picture near me. Baby, you'll never know how much you do for me, just by existing."

"Gii, I love you so much," Takumi whispered. "Why didn't you tell me how you feel as soon as you saw me again?"

"I wanted to. Shouzou stopped me. Don't know whether to hug him or hate him for that."

"Eh? Akaike-kun did?"

Gii smiled sadly, and let the memory return to him.


	3. Chapter 3

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 3 - Before The World Was Made

"So, did I miss anything interesting?" Gii asked, as he made another unsuccessful attempt to open his locker.

"You're hopeless, let me do it. Only you would miss the first week of high school."

"Hey, whenever I come back to Japan, I need time to acclimate. Otherwise I forget to bow."

"Why did you come back, anyway?" Akaike asked as he worked the combination lock. "Didn't you say American schools are easier?"

"Yeah, but Father's dead set on me going to a Japanese university. No party schools for me." Gii pushed back his well-gelled hair. "You know what? In schools in the States, students don't have to clean up anything. They have people for that."

"It builds character, and a playboy like you needs it. Here."

Pouting, Gii dropped a book into the locker. "Why do you call me that? I've never even dated anyone!"

"Because you would be, if you weren't pining for your imaginary friend."

"Takumi isn't imaginary, you've seen the picture. I just haven't found him yet. That's the real reason I keep returning to Japan."

"We have a Takumi in our class, maybe he can act as a replacement. I hear he's really jumpy, though, doesn't like anyone near him." Akaike nodded across the hall, to their far left. "He's over there with his roommate, I think, Katakura something."

Gii looked, and the color left his face. The boy he stared at was leaning against the metal-lined wall, talking softly to his friend and looking uncomfortable each time someone passed close by. Akaike said Gii's name, shook him, but it was several seconds before he spoke.

"Shouzou...it's him."

"What?"

"My soul mate, the violinist, my Takumi, it's him." Gii touched the wall to steady himself.

"Seriously? How sure are you? It's been a long time."

"I'd know him anywhere." Gii smiled, and a tear trailed down his cheek, surprising Akaike, who'd never seen him cry. "My God, Shouzou. He was so cute then, but look at him now. He's _beautiful_."

The boy was very pretty, Akaike noticed, even a straight guy like himself could admit that. Sure enough, he was getting the same looks always-handsome Gii did, and was just as oblivious to them. A second-year jock named Nozaki indicated Takumi and made a crude gesture, laughing with his friends. Katakura innocuously touched the boy's shoulder, apologizing when he jumped.

"He's hurt," Gii croaked out, "still hurt, by what I don't know, but he's still sad. I've got to fix him."

He started to head in Takumi's direction, only to have Akaike pull him back and hold him still with a strength he'd never known the other boy to possess. His eyes were serious, a match for Gii's lovesick desperation.

"Let me go, Shouzou."

"You are not going over there."

"You don't understand!" Gii wailed, though they both kept their voices low. "He's my soul mate!"

"And you saw how he just reacted to a friendly touch. How do you think a declaration of love will affect him?"

Gii said nothing, but stopped struggling.

"He's in no condition to deal with you, Gii. I know you. You can't hold back your feelings, won't be able to if you start talking to him."

"But - "

"What are the odds he remembers you, much less feels what you do? I don't know what's wrong with him either, but he won't be able to handle you."

"But I want to be near him. I have to be near him, at least."

"Yeah? Could you bear to be his friend and nothing else? Can you, as of right now, keep your hands off of him?"

Gii's silence was answer enough.

"Just wait," Akaike advised. "Maybe he'll get comfortable here and his phobia will dissipate. But until you can handle the chance of him rejecting you, you need to stay away. If you don't, you could make him worse."

Gii's shoulders slumped. "I...I don't want to hurt him. Shouzou, what could have made him like this?"

Akaike shrugged. He had a guess, but it was too awful to think of, and nothing Gii would want to hear.

"He seems to be getting along with his roommate. They're both from normal families, upper middle-class, so that probably helps."

"I wonder if he still plays the violin. He made such beautiful music." There were practically stars in Gii's eyes. "Isn't he perfect?"

Akaike sighed. "I see you're going to be harder to live with than ever. Maybe I should request a different roommate."

Gii, busy gazing in adoration, didn't seem to hear. He was taking in Takumi's height, increased since their first meeting, the warm eyes, the kissable mouth, the flawless skin. Adorableness transformed into something ethereally lovely, purity incarnate. He even seemed to glow, to radiate a natural light despite his obvious tension. Looks never mattered much to Gii and would never be what he loved most about Takumi, but he couldn't deny that the boy's appearance was enchanting.

Gii's reverie was rudely interrupted. A large third-year had approached Takumi, who was clearly close to panic. The older teenager leaned in close, obviously making some sort of proposition, and used his arms to block Takumi from escaping. Katakura objected to this and was dismissively shoved away. Takumi shrank back, whispering pleas to be left alone. Gii quickly headed toward them, ignoring Akaike's hiss of his name.

"Leave him alone."

"Or what? Get lost, I'm just asking him out."

"He's not interested, and you're scaring him. Get away from him before I make you."

The third-year turned around, and his sneer quickly vanished. "Are you...Saki Giichi?"

"I am."

A short bow. "Terazuma Keruka. I hope we can be friends during my last year here."

"I'll consider it, if you promise to stay away from him."

Terazuma frowned, but nodded, and mumbled an apology to Takumi before walking away. Gii looked at his love, held back the impulse to wrap his arms around him. Takumi looked so scared and vulnerable, but once he'd calmed and caught his breath, he met Gii's eyes, and a beautiful but chilling coldness froze his expression. He looked like he was erecting a wall around his heart that nothing could break.

"Are you okay?" Silence, a hint of confusion.

Toshihisa was there in an instant. "Please excuse my friend, Saki-kun, he's not good with people. Come on, Takumi."

Glancing back one more time in puzzlement, Takumi walked away. As Gii watched sadly, Akaike came up behind him and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Shouzou, he doesn't remember me."

"He only knew you for a few moments, and you've grown. It doesn't mean anything." Akaike sighed. "You see? Right now, he can't even take you on as a friend."

"But I need to protect him."

"Let me handle that. You know I have a knack for sniffing out trouble. I'll keep an eye on him, two eyes when I can spare them both."

"Would you really do that for me, Shouzou?"

"Of course. You're my best friend, so Hayama is like my brother-in-law."

"Hayama? Is that his family name?" Gii was thrilled to have finally learned the information he'd sought so long. "It's beautiful."

Akaike covered his eyes with his hand. "Yeah, this is gonna be fun."

_tgtgtgtg_

"And that's how it happened."

"Gii, I'm sorry I was so dismissive of you that day. I should have at least thanked you."

"Baby, it's okay. I know you were protecting your heart."

"Not anymore," Takumi murmured. "It's yours now."

"Takumi."

Just as they began to kiss, the door opened. Gii wouldn't let Takumi go right away this time; it was several moments before they looked over to find Misu sorting his books and sighing at them.

"At it again? I envy your stamina."

"At _it_? You have a dirty mind, _Arata_ ," Gii teased.

He received a cold glare. "You're in Japan, Saki. Speak properly or be silent."

 _Come to think of it, only Shinyouji-kun calls him by his given name,_ Takumi thought. He slipped away from Gii, who pouted and groped the air for him, and slowly approached his roommate.

"Ano, Misu-kun?"

"Yes, Hayama?" the elder boy answered in a gentler voice.

"I haven't seen Shinyouji-kun in a few days..."

"You must be grateful he's not bothering you."

"Actually, I'm worried. I was wondering if you know where he's been."

"Why should I?" Misu asked dismissively.

"Because...he's your..."

"Pet. Just a pet, if that. I've told you, we're not going out, so I have no reason to keep track of him. Just because you're in love doesn't mean I am."

"But you care about him, I know you do! Why can't you - "

"Hayama, drop it or I'll touch you."

Gii got up, hissing, "Try it, and you'll lose all your fingers."

Prompted more by Takumi's hurt expression than the threat, Misu sighed. "Sorry, Hayama. I'd rather just not discuss this."

"I...understand."

"I have class now, I'll leave you lovebirds alone."

Murmuring to Takumi that he'd be right back, Gii followed Misu into the hallway. "We need to get something straight."

"Straight? You?"

"Cut the bullshit. First you threaten to take Takumi from me, now you've obviously got touching him on your mind," Gii said angrily.

"It was a threat, not a come-on."

"I've seen you staring at him!"

"He's nice to look at," Misu said bluntly. "So are paintings. I don't steal them, and I don't plan to steal Hayama from you. I only said that to get you off your ass and make you re-claim your much better half. I want Hayama to be happy, that's all, and for some reason I don't understand, you do that for him better than I could."

"So it's Shinyouji, then."

Silence.

"If he were a painting, would you feel safe enough to love him?"

With that, Misu turned and left, for perhaps the first time leaving an unanswered question.

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi knocked somewhat heavily on the door, almost disappointed when a voice called to him to come in. What would he tell Shinyouji if the boy asked about Misu? Takumi hated to lie, but he hated the thought of hurting a friend more. Taking a deep breath, he entered, and found Shinyouji sitting up in bed, wearing pajamas and looking pale but fairly cheerful.

"Hi, Hayama-senpai, sit down."

"Shinyouji-kun, where have you been? I was worried."

"I'm one of the first to get the flu that's been going around. I've been ordered to stay in bed, so I don't spread it around. If I have to go out for some reason, I have to wear this," the younger boy said, holding up a white mask. "I heard that first-year Kokura threw up all over the language arts corridor."

"I heard that too."

"Poor guy. This isn't the worst flu I've had, but it's close. Oh, Hayama-senpai, you might want to put on a mask while you're in here."

"Don't worry, I never get the flu."

Shinyouji laughed. "My roommate is like that too, and he hates masks anyway. It's funny, I never used to get sick either. I was always the one to take care of my family when they got the flu. My parents and my little sister, Kotoko. She's seven."

Takumi smiled. "She must be cute. I used to wish I had a sister."

"Does Hayama-senpai have any brothers?"

The smile quickly faded. "I had one, but he died several years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"By then, we weren't close."

"Well, you can have my sister. She's a pain, always drawing on my bedroom walls."

"When I was little, I once finger-painted all my brother's homework," Takumi said. He had never told anyone about this.

"Wow! Did you get in huge trouble?"

"No, Niisan hid what I did from my parents and re-did each paper. They never found out."

"He did that even though you weren't close? He must have really loved you."

"I think he did," Takumi said slowly, "in his own way. How is kendo going?"

"I'm really going to lose my edge, being stuck in bed like this. But you should have seen it," Shinyouji said excitedly. "During my last match, against a third-year, I knocked the bokken out of his hands so hard it flew through a paper screen, and he was so surprised, he fell down. It was like something out of a manga. Have you ever thought of trying kendo, Hayama-senpai?"

 _I can't stand violence, of any kind._ "I'm too clumsy, I'd be awful at it."

"You're lucky Shidou doesn't make you join at least one club, like most high schools do. It's funny, that's one of the reasons I tested for Shidou, before I got into kendo."

"What were the other reasons?"

Shinyouji smiled mischievously. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"...all right. My mother and I don't get along, and my father is overprotective. I needed to get away from them. And there are no crowds around here, I thought it would help my phobia."

Shinyouji opened his mouth, then closed it, clearly thinking better about what he wanted to say. "My parents argue all the time. They're getting a divorce and fighting over me and my sister, so I mostly spent time with my grandmother. But ultimately, I had to get away. And then...I met Arata-san."

Takumi winced, but hid it well enough. "How did you meet?"

"It was strange. He thought I cheated on my entrance exam, although I didn't, but he didn't tell on me. I thought he would, though, and while I was outside afterward, all my fear and sadness came to the surface. Arata-san's friend Sagara-senpai found me crying, and Arata-san took me to the dining hall for soup. I think I was already falling for him, as cold as he was and is to me."

Shinyouji laughed ruefully. "I all but demanded to know how to write his family name. He finally told me, and said he'd tell me his given name if I got into Shidou."

"And he did."

"Yeah, he found me on my first day and helped me carry my bags to my room. Once we were alone, he patted my head and told me. I was head over heels by then. I'd never wanted so much to kiss someone."

"I think I know the feeling," Takumi murmured.

Shinyouji flashed a wide grin. "I heard you and Gii-senpai are public again, congratulations. What's it like?"

"Strange. The other students are suddenly being nice."

"They want to survive, don't they? Haven't you seen the looks Gii gives the ones who stare at you?"

"Even Gii can't make them stop hating me, however they behave."

"Senpai, they don't _all_ stare because they hate you."

"Eh?"

Shinyouji felt a warm sort of amusement at the naive reply. Even though Takumi was older than him, he was so cutely innocent. No wonder Gii was so protective.

"But Gii-senapi is so cool, so sophisticated."

"Gii is?" Takumi knew what Gii was like happy and in private - playful, joking, a big kid at heart.

"Yeah, he's so intense. Scary, even, sometimes. I guess he has a reputation to uphold, with his status and everything. And he's probably used to not trusting people," Shinyouji mused. "I would guess a lot of people's interest in him is for his power and money."

Takumi thought of the first-year hangers-on, how Gii tolerated but tuned them out, and the distant friendships he maintained with some of the third-years. It must be hard for him. Gii's wealth meant nothing to Takumi, so it was always a surprise to remember it wasn't like that with most people. _Maybe that's why he treasures Akaike-kun so much. He's one of the few who likes Gii for Gii._

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Senpai."

"No, I was just thinking. I wish I could shoulder some of that burden for Gii."

"But you do," Shinyouji insisted. "I heard Arata-san say that Gii is totally different when he's with you, not tense or distant or...what was it? Faintly miserable."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. I wish I had the kind of relationship you do."

 _Here goes nothing._ Takumi took a deep breath. "Shinyouji-kun, just because Misu-kun hasn't been coming to visit you, that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. I think Misu-kun is afraid of feeling something strongly, and especially expressing that feeling, so he hides behind a cold facade to guard his heart. I used to be that way myself, so I know how frightening it is to love someone despite yourself, despite all your terror at giving yourself to someone and being hurt. If you truly love Misu-kun, give him some time. I'm sure he'll open up to you if given enough chances."

"Thank you for your advice, Hayama-senapi, but you're mistaken about something. Arata-san _has_ been visiting me, several times each day."

"Eh?" _But he said -_

"Yeah, he stops by between classes to force tea down my throat, and brings me soup at meal-times. If he insists on fluffing my pillows one more time today, I might crack and throw them at him. But..." Shinyouji beamed. "It's worth being sick to have him hover. If I could just get him to act so sweet in public, I'd have everything I want."

_Misu-kun, so this is where you've been sneaking off to._

_tgtgtgtg_

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"Absolutely. You need to study. Considering how smart you are, I can't believe how badly you've been doing in calculus."

Gii made a face. "I was great with algebra, I just don't like math. If Father didn't insist, I wouldn't have signed up for calculus. And if I hadn't wanted to be in all the same classes as you."

"Gii, you don't need to be with me every moment," Takumi said softly. "I'm just going to see Kandan-kun practice soccer. Anyway, everyone's been fake-nice to me since they found out about us."

"It's not all fake. You're very lovable."

"Only to you."

"Takumi, come sit with me for a minute."

The younger boy obeyed, and smiled as Gii's fingers caressed his cheek. It was still a little strange, how safe he felt at times like this.

"Your friends love you. Not as much as I do, but only because that's not possible. The students who dislike you just don't understand you. It's because they misinterpreted your jumpiness from the beginning. They thought you hated them."

"And I'm different."

"We have other students from normal families."

"That's not what I meant," Takumi whispered, looking at the floor. "I always thought maybe...that people could tell."

"Tell what?"

"That I'm soiled."

Gii lifted his chin gently, looking as close to angry as he ever got with Takumi. "Don't you say that. You're the purest thing I've ever known. What your brother did has nothing to do with you as a person. Knowing about him doesn't change my feelings for you in the slightest."

Smiling sadly, Takumi touched his hand. "Gii...why did you tell me you like me when you did?"

"I couldn't keep it in a second longer. You deserved to know why Takabayashi was targeting you, because he overheard me say to Shouzou that I love you, not like, love. And because we'd become roommates. Being so close to you was driving me crazy.”

“I guess it was fate, that we happened to get roomed together.”

“Actually, I bribed a secretary, but it was fate that she accepted.”

“Gii! What did you give her?”

“New Ferrari. Can I get you one? Please?”

“No!”

Gii pouted. “You never let me buy you anything.”

“I don’t need anything but you.”

Gii cupped Takumi’s face in his hands. “You’ll never get rid of me, in this lifetime or any other. I will spend eternity loving you, and hopefully longer. It will still never be enough.”

“Gii...”

Gii kissed him, slowly and sweetly, running his thumbs over the smooth cheeks and pushing his fingers into the soft black hair. Takumi gave him a few moments before he pulled back, regretfully.

“I have to go, and you have to study.”

“Yeah,” Gii said glumly, “and I promised to help Shouzou with English.”

“I thought Akaike-kun’s English was good.”

“It is, he just sucks at verbs. It’s kind of hilarious.” Gii switched to English. “I love you, baby.”

“Aishiteru, Gii.”

He watched Takumi go, tensed from the faint alarm he was feeling. Always felt, to some extent, when he had to trust the unpredictable world with his reason for existing.

_tgtgtgtg_

The spring day was perfect for being outdoors, Takumi thought as he reached the warm field. Summer weather, especially June, made him uneasy, but something about the awakening of flowers made him feel reborn. Clean, even, far from the spoiled thing he often thought of himself as.

 _Niisan used to pick flowers with me,_ he thought, and shook it away as Kandan approached in his soccer uniform.

“Hayama-senpai, I’m so glad you could make it! We’re about to start our practice game. We used to divide into two teams, but our new assistant coach had another idea. He’s having us play as individuals, so only goals we each make count toward our score.”

“That makes sense. I suppose it makes you work harder if you don’t have a team to count on.”

“Yeah! I’ll introduce you. Coach! Please come meet my friend.”

A tall man in a referee uniform set down a clipboard and turned around. As he approached, Takumi’s blood ran cold. Nausea surged up in his stomach, but instead of heaving, he froze.

“Hayama Takumi, meet Nozaki Daisuke.”

“We’re acquainted,” Nozaki said with a predatory smile. “Get lost, chibi, I need to talk to your senpai.”

“But - “

“Go.” Once Kandan had disappeared, Nozaki came closer, and Takumi staggered back. “Hi, baby. Miss me?”

“D-Don’t call me that.”

“Right, that’s Saki’s thing. Even though I could satisfy you better than him.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Taking a year off before university. I have good memories here. You’re shaking. Do you remember too?”

“Remember?” Takumi was trembling hard, close to tears. “You tried to r-rape me.”

“I would have made sure you liked it. I’m very good. And you’re so frigid, a nice fuck was just what you needed.” Nozaki reached a hand out, only to have it slapped away. “Have you put out for Saki? I hear he’s the only one allowed to touch you.”

“Don’t talk about Gii.”

“Has he gotten under your clothes, at least? I dream about it, you know. Undressing you slowly, getting you hot and needy with my hands, then sinking into you like hot water. You cry and writhe, and that makes it better.”

Takumi’s eyes overflowed, vision blurred. “Sh-Shut up.”

“I imagine my mouth all over you, my tongue penetrating you, tying you up and fucking you with toys until you beg to come. You’re what I came back here for, to have another go at you. Don’t you want to find out how good I can make you feel?”

“S-Stop, please.” _“Takumi, I’ll make you feel so good.”_

“You’re breathing heavy. Just like in my fantasies.”

Nozaki touched his cheek, and Takumi tried to stumble away, only to have his arm grabbed. The practice game had begun, and they were a good distance away, standing in the shadow of a bleacher. Takumi could not have cried out for help, even if someone had been close. He wanted either to die to escape this, or hide in Gii’s arms, preferably the latter.

“No!”

“Come on. Kiss me, and I’ll make you forget all about Saki.”

_tgtgtgtg_

“I don’t get this at all.”

“That’s okay, it’s an irregular verb.”

“I can never remember when it’s ‘is’ and when it’s ‘are.’”

Gii scribbled in katakana as he spoke. “It’s ‘is’ with he, she, and it, ‘are’ with we, they, and you.”

“Okay...”

“And ‘am’ with I.”

“This is completely illogical,” Akaike groaned. “How do American kids learn this?”

“That’s how they feel about kanji.”

“Fair enough. I still wish more of them would learn Japanese, so we didn’t have to all learn English.”

“Americans don’t like foreign languages. Here, try this one.”

“I can never remember which form ends in ‘s.’”

“It’s ‘I run,’ ‘She/he runs,’ ‘We run,’ ‘You run,’ ‘They run.’ I know, you just have to memorize it and go by what sounds right.”

“It all sounds insane. Our verb system at least makes sense.”

Gii’s phone rang from his jeans pocket. He took it out while smiling and murmuring to himself, “If you keep tempting me, Takumi, I’ll have to take you right on this desk.”

“Well, that’s victim-blamey of you. I suppose if Hayama were a girl in a short skirt, you’d think it’s your right to jump him. Her.”

“Hmm, it’s not Takumi. Hello?”

“Gii-senpai, I think you should come here, quickly.”

“Kandan, what’s wrong?” Gii jumped up. “Is it Takumi?”

“Our new coach is talking to him, and he looks really scared.”

“Who is this guy?”

A murderous expression crossed Gii’s face, and he ran with a speed he’d not attempted for anyone’s sake but Takumi’s.

_To be continued._


	4. Chapter 4

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 4 - Love Prompted Me

"P-Please, please don't."

Takumi tried to wrench his arm free, but the grip was tight. Nozaki was a head taller and at least forty pounds heavier, and there was no matching his superior, athletic strength. He pulled Takumi to him and looped an arm around his waist.

"Aw, don't cry. Is it so bad to be with me?"

_"Is it me? Is it so bad being pulled in by me?"_

"Gii," Takumi whispered, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you."

"You _are_ hurting me!"

"Just stop struggling and I won't have to."

Nozaki slapped a hand onto the back of Takumi's neck and began to push him in closer. All Takumi's desperate fighting did no good, as the bigger boy had known it wouldn't. Nozaki's mouth found Takumi's, tongue pushing at the lips that refused to open. Takumi didn't dare cry out even as he was licked.

"Coach, what are you doing?"

A first-year had come up to them, with more following. Kandan-kun was there, Takumi noticed, mouthing something and giving a bewildering thumbs-up. Nozaki didn't let go of his prey, and sneered at them.

"Back to the game, all of you. This is a private matter."

"Excuse me, Coach," the boy continued bravely, "but I don't think you should be kissing Senpai. He doesn't look like he wants you   
touching him."

"I told you, go back - "

"ASSHOLE!" a voice shouted in furious English, a word they all understood. "Get your fucking hands off him!"

Gii, the welcome sight of Gii, with rage in his eyes and Akaike close behind. Nozaki was startled enough to let go, and Takumi unsteadily ran to his boyfriend. Gii caught him and held him close, both calmed by the feel of Takumi in his arms and further infuriated by how much he was shaking.

"I told you, I told you to never touch him!"

"Still can't handle a little competition, Saki?"

"What are you doing here?" Akaike asked coldly. "I didn't hear anything about Shidou needing a new coach."

"One of the board members owes my father money. I came to get what's mine."

"He was never yours and never will be," Gii snarled, his voice a contrast to his hand rubbing Takumi's back. "Touch him again and you're _dead_."

"I'm one of the few not intimidated by you, Saki. My family doesn't give a shit about yours. I will have him. If it has to be unwilling, so be it."

"You - "

Gii was about to hand Takumi to his best friend and commit murder right there and then. Fortunately, Akaike could read Gii well, and grabbed his shoulder.

"Attack him and you'll be expelled. Which means leaving Hayama to him."

It was the exact right thing to say. Gii blinked and took a deep breath, inhaling Takumi's faintly sweet scent.

"If you get anywhere near Takumi again, I'll report you. I should have last year, but I won't be lenient again."

Nozaki smirked. "No races this time, Saki, no child's play of puppy love. This isn't dependent on winning or losing. I want him, and I always get what I want. It's that simple."

The first-years were watching this in complete shock. Gii felt Takumi continue to gasp, and begin to weaken and slump in his hold. Gesturing to Kandan to follow, Gii gently but closely held Takumi to his side and began to walk back toward the school buildings, keeping him upright and half-carrying him. Takumi's eyes were shut tightly, his body still quaking.

"Kandan, thank you. After Takumi, loyalty is what I prize the most. You just earned a lot of points with me."

Kandan beamed, but worry quickly replaced it. "Is Hayama-senpai okay?"

"He'll be all right," Akaike said. "You'll be our eyes and ears on the soccer team. If you hear Nozaki planning anything, or if he harasses anyone else, tell us."

"I'll do anything I can to help."

"Good. Get back to your practice." Once the three of them were alone, Akaike asked, "Should we take him to the nurse?"

"I just want to get him to his room so he can take his medication."

Akaike walked with them all the way to the door before taking his leave. Gii sat Takumi down on his bed and removed his shoes before putting a pill to his lips, which he swallowed without prompting. It was like handling a half-asleep child, as his eyes were still shut but moving, as in deep REM dreaming. Gii carefully guided his love to lay down, and held his hand and stroked his hair as the trembling slowly subsided.

"Takumi."

A violent tremor, a squeezing of eyelids. "No, Niisan, please..."

"Takumi, it's me. Look at me."

The beautiful orbs slowly blinked into waking, and fearfully locked on the other. "Gii?"

"I'm here, baby. I've got you."

With difficulty, as though moving through water, Takumi reached for him. Gii slid onto the bed, lay down and brought Takumi's head to his chest, warm arms enclosing him. A few tears dampened his shirt, though there was no audible sound of crying.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay."

"Gii, I love you."

"I love you, Takumi, and I'm so sorry."

"Eh?"

"I told you I'd protect you and I didn't." One of Gii's tears fell as well. "I'm worse than scum."

"Don't say that about the one I love the most," Takumi whispered shakily. "You had no way of knowing he would come back."

"I don't know if I scared him enough. Baby, I need you not to go off on your own while he's here. Can you do that for me?"

A nod against his chest. "Gii, loving me is enough. You don't have to protect me from everything."

"Of course I do," Gii murmured. "It's who I am."

_tgtgtgtg_

Lucky thing it was a Sunday, because Takumi fell asleep shortly after their conversation. Gii rubbed his back to feel the steady breathing, pressed his nose into the herbal shampoo-scented hair, checked Takumi's temperature periodically by kissing his forehead. Now and then he softly sang snatches of American pop songs, because Takumi had once told him he loved his singing. After a while, the door quietly opened, and Misu came in to look at Takumi with an unreadable expression.

"I heard, from Akaike-kun. I don't think this can be kept quiet."

"If the teachers find out, all the better."

"You don't know your own people, Saki. As horrified as the soccer club was, they'll be loyal to their coach. I doubt they understood what they saw, anyway." Misu sat heavily down on his bed. "How is Hayama?"

"No nightmares this time."

"Was it bad, what caused his phobia?"

"Yes."

"I won't ask for details. I know only he has the right to give them. I can guess, though, all too easily."

"Misu - "

"We're not close enough for you to drop honorifics."

"You drop them too, with me and with Takumi."

Misu smirked. "Go on."

Carefully, Gii sat up and faced him. "I know you hate me, although not why."

"I do hate you."

"Why, though? Takumi wonders too."

Misu's lips pressed tightly together. "You have it too easy, Saki."

"What? You're from a rich family too. Most of us are."

"That's not what I mean. You're in love with the one you plan to be with forever, and that doesn't bother you."

Gii was confused. "Why would it bother me?"

"You have no reservations, no hesitance. You took what you wanted without thinking if it's the best thing for Hayama. You're like that about everything. No caution."

"I am cautious with Takumi."

"Yeah? You haven't pushed him for intimacy?" A guilty silence. "I thought so."

"He was afraid, yes, but of the past, not of me. I assaulted him last year, I'll admit that, and I'll never forgive myself. I was trying to fix him, yes, but I wanted him too."

"So that's how you cured his phobia. You idiot, you could have made him exponentially worse."

"I know, okay? I didn't know yet what was wrong." Gii looked away. "I'll never claim not to be selfish. I need him and I can't let him go, and no, I don't think he deserves someone as flawed as me. But he loves me. I do know that."

"So, you cured him by making him face the same thing that damaged him. Curious. How did he respond?"

Gii hesitated, feeling strange to tell this to an enemy. _He's not Takumi's, though._

"He fought me," Gii choked out. "He begged me to stop and I didn't. He went from a flashback into a panic attack, and I stopped. I touched his fist, squeezed it, and he opened his eyes. He blinked, as if he were seeing me for the first time. Then he put his arms around me."

"I'm guessing you wouldn't have raped him," Misu said flatly.

"Of course not!"

"Ssh. So, how did you do it after his relapse?"

"I held him, even though he fought me again. He calmed down pretty quickly."

"Thank you for telling me." Misu looked at Takumi with what was, for him, a very soft expression.

"You care about him a lot, don't you?"

"Yes. I don't have an explanation. When I see him, I just want to protect him."

"Takumi brings that out in people. Can I keep trusting you with him?"

"Yes. In the interest of full disclosure, though, Saki, if not for Shinyouji, I probably would try to take Hayama from you. But I find it annoying when my pet sulks."

Gii frowned, but let it go. "Will you help me and Shouzou watch over him? With Nozaki here, I don't want him being alone."

"Whenever you're busy, Saki, I'll try to keep Hayama by my side. I'll enlist Nozawa, Shinyouji and Katakura as well. With all of us, it should be enough."

"Thank you, Misu."

The taller boy stood. "I have a student council meeting. Try to be clothed when I return. I don't care if Hayama is."

Gii's scowl softened as he returned to Takumi. It wasn't exactly a truce, but for now, an alliance was enough.

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi was not deeply asleep, merely floating languidly in the shallower levels of unconsciousness. He sensed Gii close by and thus felt safe enough to doze. He thought he heard Misu at one point, but couldn't discern what his roommate was saying. As he started to return to reality, he felt fingers wafting through his hair and the breath of Gii's low voice on his face.

"'O fortune, fortune! all men call thee fickle: If thou art fickle, what dost thou with him that is renown'd for faith? Be fickle, fortune; For then, I hope, thou wilt not keep him long, but send him back.'"

Takumi opened his eyes, and Gii smiled and stroked his cheek.

"What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Takumi is the sun."

The boy understood enough for his face to feel warm. "How long was I asleep?"

"A little over an hour. How do you feel?"

"Better. Are you okay, Gii?"

"Me?"

"I think this whole thing is harder on you than me."

"Don't worry about me, baby."

"But I do." Takumi ran a hand up and down Gii's arm. "When I watched you racing against Nozaki, I told Akaike-kun I wouldn't care if he violated me, except I didn't want you to be sad."

"Takumi, don't even think a thing like that."

"That's what Akaike-kun said. How is his English?"

Gii let him change the subject. "He won't be working for the U.N. any time soon."

"Gii, do you speak French too?"

"A little. I have to to my mother's mother, she insists I practice. Je t'adore, mon cher Takumi."

"Hey, I actually understood that."

"Very good. But Grand-mere speaks Japanese too, so you'll be fine when you meet her."

"Will she...be okay with me?" Takumi asked timidly.

"Oh, yeah, she always encouraged me to keep looking for you, and she was thrilled when I told her I'd found you. She has some connections, so if you want our wedding to be in Notre Dame or Versailles, that's doable."

"Wedding? Gii, that's not even legal here."

"We can do it somewhere else." Gii pouted. "Don't you want to marry me?"

"Yes, but..."

"We don't have to do it really soon. We just should before the children."

"I just never thought about it, because I never thought I could - wait, children?"

"You don't want kids?"

"I never gave it much thought. Gii, you know I can't get pregnant, right?"

Gii kissed his nose. "Unfortunately, that's true. No problem, we'll adopt."

"Will your family accept that?"

"Oh, sure. But if we use a surrogate, that's even better. I want kids who look like you."

Takumi laughed softly; it all seemed so improbable, had for such a long time. "What if I want babies who look like you?"

"We'll take turns. The first can be yours, the second mine, the third yours..."

"Um, Gii, how many kids are we talking about here?"

"Seven is fine. Or nine. Don't worry, we'll have nannies so we get some alone time."

"Seven? Nine?"

"You don't even have to lose your lovely figure."

Gii tickled him, and this time, Takumi tickled back. Gii's ribs were very sensitive, it turned out, and soon the room was loud with high-pitched, hysterical laughter. It ended with Gii thudding hard onto the carpeted floor, and Takumi pulling him back up with a snicker. It quickly vanished behind a solemn expression.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I was just wondering..."

"Yeah?"

"Nozaki said his family is the only one around here that's not trying to do business with yours."

"Well, naturally we wouldn't associate with them."

"Eh?"

"You didn't know? Baby, Nozaki's father is head of the most powerful yakuza syndicate in Japan. He was only accepted here out of fear on the part of the board, probably. You haven't heard of the Nozaki-gumi?"

"It sounds familiar. Gii, please don't make him angry with you."

"I'm not scared of him. I'm only afraid for you."

"That works both ways, Gii. Please, be careful."

"I will if you will. C'mon, let's grab an early dinner. Or would you rather I bring you something?"

"I'll go, I'm fine." _I need to get used to the staring, somehow._

_tgtgtgtg_

To Takumi's surprise, the little work that needed to be done on the old concert hall only took two days. Re-painted, with a new hardwood floor, it now featured a new grand piano, a set of drums, a harp and various other instruments. The windows let in a lot of natural light all day, and there were desk-tables and cupboards stocked with art and craft supplies. On the exact spot where Takumi had sat when Gii confessed to him, a marble, heart-shaped tile had been fitted into the floor. And he wasn't sure if he should hug or kill Gii for the plaque outside, which read 'The Saki-Hayama Creative Arts Room,' with the date of re-opening below it.

As Takumi wandered around the once-dilapidated building in awe, Gii tried to explain. "I figured that if you don't want to take my name, we can use both, with a hyphen. People sometimes do that in America."

Takumi touched the keys of the piano, remembering the one he had tuned. "I'm not particularly attached to my name."

Gii grinned, idly plucking the harp strings. "I always meant to ask, how come you know how to tune pianos? Do you play?"

"Suda-sensei insisted all his students learn to. My mother used to be a concert pianist, so she taught me a little, but Niisan was better. I preferred the violin early on."

"It suits you." Gii's phone indicated a text message. "Okay, so, they're outside."

"Your...parents?"

"Baby, I promise, it'll be okay."

Gii offered Takumi his hand, and they held onto each other as they headed back out into the sunshine. A well-dressed couple was waiting, and Takumi's knees nearly knocked with apprehension as he approached them. The two of them seemed to be looking at him quite intently.

"Mom, Father, this is Hayama Takumi, about whom I've told you so much. Takumi, these are my parents, Saki Takeo and Saki Kayako."

Takumi bowed low, almost afraid to straighten. "It's a great pleasure to meet you."

Gii's mother let out a soft squeal. "Oh, Gii, he's even more adorable than you described. I'm very happy to finally meet you, dear. Call me Kayako, or Mom if you'd rather, as Gii does."

"Hajimemashite, Takumi-kun. We've heard a lot about you from Giichi, for several years now."

"Gii often speaks of you as well, Saki-san," Takumi said politely. "Thank you very much for your part in refurbishing this building. I   
know the students here will appreciate it."

"Giichi was inconsolable at the thought of losing this place," Takeo said dryly. "He told us it was where he confessed his love for you."

Embarrassed a bit, Takumi nodded. "It's special to us both."

"I imagine it must be. Well, why don't you boys give us a tour of the grounds?"

"But first," Kayako said merrily, "will you show me the new arts room, Takumi-kun? Like you, I just adore music."

"That's why she forced the violin on me," Gii laughed.

"I would be honored, Kayako-san."

Takumi's phobia had never been as bad with females; he walked next to the woman with little fear, and even offered his hand to her after he climbed the steps. Gii turned to his father and sighed.

"Is this a divide-and-conquer strategy? I'm guessing you want to speak to me."

"Takumi-kun seems like a very nice boy. Attractive, too."

 _Mine!_ Gii nearly cried, absurdly. "He's way too perfect for me, really."

"How is that phobia of his?"

"He recently had a relapse, but he's very strong."

"He seems rather delicate to me."

"Takumi's been through a lot. But he's tough enough to put up with me anyway. Father, if you don't already know by now, my relationship with Takumi is not negotiable. Even if you say you'll disown me, I won't give him up. I won't choose anything over him, even you and Mom."

"Giichi, don't be dramatic. I am not about to lose my only son. I only question whether Takumi-kun has what it takes to be your partner. You know our world is harsh. He will be whispered about, envied, suspected, harassed. It might be kinder to leave him be."

"I can't," Gii said simply. "I need him to exist."

"I suppose we'll see how things go with the two of you, then. Have your future plans changed?"

"I'll take over the company as I said I would. I can do anything if I have Takumi."

"Then - "

"Gii, darling!" Kayako called happily as they reappeared, "my adorable new son is going to teach me the violin!"

"You don't want to do that, Takumi, she's awful."

"I'm sure Kayako-san will do very well."

"You are such a sweet boy," she cooed, and wrapped him in a hug.

Takumi tensed, then relaxed. It had been a long time since he'd last found himself in a perfume-scented embrace. Gii was about to run over and separate them, but stopped when Takumi subtly shook his head.

"Kayako, don't smother the boy. Remember, he dislikes being touched."

"Sorry, sweetheart."

"I don't mind, really. I...don't really get along with my mother."

"I'm your mother now."

A strange pain seized Takumi's heart and made his eyes tear up. Gii was at his side in an instant, an arm around him.

"Dear, I hope my Giichi is good to you."

"Better than good, he's perfect."

"I always thought so too," she giggled. "But it's nice to hear."

_tgtgtgtg_

"Did I...do all right?" Takumi asked, as he stretched out on Gii's bed beside him.

"Are you kidding? My dad's already trying to protect you from me, and I heard my mom on the phone with Grand-mere. They were squeeing about you like fangirls. I think they like you more than they do me."

Head resting on Gii's arm, Takumi lightly shoved him. "What did your dad say?"

"He's just worried about whether you'll be able to handle a life with me."

"What will life be like with you, Gii?"

"A lot of boring cocktail parties, tedious travel, gossiping with colleagues' wives, never being at all sure if people like you for you or if they just want something, with great power comes great responsibility, yadda yadda. What do you think, baby?"

"I'll be fine as long as I have you."

"I was hoping you'd say that." Gii's thumb brushed over Takumi's lips. "Just before they left, Father reminded me about entrance exams and applications. What university do you want to go to?"

"I don't know. My dad went to Todai, he wants me to do the same."

"My father went there too! I wonder if they knew each other."

Takumi laughed. "I doubt it, it's a huge school."

"Can you imagine if they dated?"

"Gii, ew!"

"Kidding. You want to study music, right?"

"I don't know. I don't think I'm good enough to go pro."

"I think you are, and Sachi agrees with me."

Takumi looked amazed, then confused. "Inoue-san hasn't heard me play since I was a child."

"I kinda recorded you last time you played for me, and sent it to him." Gii chuckled nervously, but Takumi only lightly kicked him. 

"Sachi says you're already as good as him."

"Eh? Impossible."

"You're a musical genius, baby. That's not just my adoration talking. Sachi doesn't give compliments lightly."

Takumi went faintly pink. "Where do you want to study?"

"I go where you go."

"Gii, that's..."

"Every university has a business school. All I care about is being with you."

"Gii..."

Gii kissed him, lightly at first, then deeply and wet. Takumi was still, even now, getting the hang of what two tongues do with each other, but his shy licking and soft mewling noises were more arousing for Gii than experience ever could be. He lifted Takumi's shirt to rub his stomach, then put fingers to his zipper. He was stopped, though not, it seemed, for fear.

"Honey, what is it?"

Takumi looked as nervous as he'd ever seen him, averting his eyes. "I've been...thinking about something...a lot," he whispered.

"You can tell me."

"Can I..." The voice was barely audible. "Can I put my mouth...on you?"

With an idiotic but soft smile, Gii gaped at him. "You want to - "

"It's okay if you don't want me to."

"Baby, of course I do. I want every part of you, and every part of me is yours. I just didn't think you'd be ready so soon."

"So, I can?"

"If you're sure you want to."

Gii slipped his belt off and undid his uniform pants. He lifted the already-hard cock out of his underwear, and Takumi stared nervously down at it, flushed with blood.

"Baby, you don't have to - "

But Takumi was scooting down, leaning in to take in the faint musk and pulsing heat of it all. First he let it wipe across his mouth, and licked the smear of fluid it left. Then he gave a tentative lick to the head, smiling when Gii moaned plaintively. _I do this to him?_ He let his lips settle just around the tip and pushed at it with his tongue for a few moments, milking it for the pre-ejaculate. Only when Gii began to babble in several languages did Takumi begin to actually suck.

"Oh, God, baby."

Gii grabbed a pillow with one hand and pounded on the mattress with the other, heaving with pleasure and amazement. He was careful not to thrust or grab Takumi, afraid he'd hurt him if he gave himself too much over to this. As climax approached, he gently tried to dislodge his boyfriend, to no avail.

"Baby, I'm gonna - can't hold - God, Takumi!"

God, appropriate, because he was in heaven, pleasure unlike anything his hand had ever given him. He came and Takumi swallowed it, not even finding it gross, just the essence of Gii. He was quickly pulled up to find a dazed face that kissed him.

"Baby, you didn't have to - "

"I liked it. Can I do it again soon?"

Gii blinked away his wonder into happiness. "Peut-etre," he teased, and claimed the mouth that tasted of him, of them.

_To be continued. "Peut-etre" means "maybe" in French._

_I don't own Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" either._

_And yes, I did name Gii's parents after the ghost couple in "The Grudge," not for any reason other than my own amusement._


	5. Chapter 5

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 5 - Inventory of Ghosts

The news had indeed spread by the following day. As Gii walked to class, firmly clasping Takumi's hand, whispers were everywhere. Not all were about Nozaki, though. He and Takumi's relationship was still a new and popular topic, it seemed.

As they passed two second-years, one whispered to another, "I bet he's only with Saki for his influence." Gii immediately stuck a foot out to trip him, watched the boy fall to the floor, and led away a protesting Takumi without a shred of guilt.

"Gii-senpai! Hayama-senpai!" Kandan came hurrying up to them. "Are you feeling better, Hayama-senpai?"

"Yes, Kandan-kun, thank you."

"Gii-senpai, Uta, Yamaguchi and I were going to tell a teacher about what happened yesterday, but Nozaki-san says he'll cut anyone who does. I'd still do it, but he also said no one would take our word over his."

"Don't worry about it." Gii lightly nudged the boy's shoulder. "You've done plenty. Just keep an eye on Nozaki, and we'll handle the rest."

"I don't want more people to know anyway," Takumi softly added.

"Senpai, of course I'll understand if you decide not to come to our games now, but I wanted you to know that my teammates and I will be watching our coach as much as we can. We'll do our best to see he doesn't hurt you again."

Always in a hurry, it seemed, Kandan bowed and dashed off. Gii watched him go with a smile.

"At my request, the Saki Corporation just signed a new deal with the Kandan Group. If I get to work with people like that runt, maybe running the company one day might not be so dull."

"Gii, you've never told me anything about your family's business."

"It's mostly to do with finance. We own most of the banks in Japan and a lot worldwide as well. There's also real estate companies, media conglomerates, hospitals, brokerage firms. We also have the three largest newspapers in Japan. Father's thinking of buying the New York Times."

Takumi shook his head. "This is too much."

It was a casual comment, but it got Gii thinking - always a dangerous thing. His father and Misu had basically the same worry, that he wasn't the best or healthiest thing for Takumi. His heart cried out against this, but his mind wondered. Takumi had grown up as a private person, his life solely his own. How would he handle paparazzi following him, his picture in tabloids, needing to be accompanied by bodyguards? There was a night from Gii's twelfth year he'd never forget - sitting on a stage while his father gave a speech at a banquet held by Donald Trump, and both father and son wearing bulletproof vests because assassination threats had been made.

_Can Takumi cope with that?_

"Gii?"

"Baby, will you be okay? In the life I'll be dragging you into?"

"I'll be with you, right?"

Gii smiled. "Every day."

"Then I'll be happy. I'll have my music, too, whether I go pro or decide to do something else."

"You don't need to do anything."

Takumi frowned. "Gii, you better not try to lock me up like a housecat. I intend to have a career."

"Well, if you insist, but nothing that keeps us apart too much, okay? I don't want us to be like Hikoboshi and Orihime, only meeting once a year."

"I promise, I'll always make time for you."

"How about I just buy an orchestra for you to be in?"

Takumi rolled his eyes. "No."

"But it's a great idea!"

"Try it and I won't let you touch me for a month."

A lot of whispering suddenly stopped as they entered the classroom. Takumi stared at the floor, nearly winced when Ozawa approached.

"Are you okay, Hayama-kun?"

Takumi blinked in surprise. "Um, yes, thank you."

"Uzuki and I know some karate. Just let us know if you want some self-defense lessons."

"Um, okay."

Ozawa touched his shoulder, pulling away when Takumi shrank back. "Sorry, I forgot. Just remember to aim for the balls," he advised before returning to his seat.

Three other classmates asked Takumi how he was and if there was anything they could do. This was light years away from their behavior two years earlier, when they had touched him on purpose and accused him of over-reacting. One classmate even apologized for such an incident that Takumi had completely forgotten. He almost wanted to cry with relief. As cold and closed off as his heart had been then, it had still hurt to be hated for what he couldn't control. No one had understood, but now it seemed they were trying.

When the day's classes had ended, Gii's stomach growled right on cue, and Takumi laughed. "Go eat something, bottomless pit. I have library duty."

"I'll walk you first."

There was no arguing with him about this. When they reached the quiet room, Misu was unexpectedly behind the front desk, checking returned books into the computer system. He warned a few noisy first-years to keep it down before saying hello.

"Misu-kun, what are you doing here? I usually have library duty alone."

"Not today," was all he would say.

Takumi noticed Gii exchange a nod with Misu before he hesitantly kissed his boyfriend and left. It occurred to him that at lunch, when Gii had gone to the bathroom, Akaike had come to the table and stayed until Gii returned. He knew Gii didn't want him to be alone, but were his friends really going this far?

_Gii, please don't worry. Whatever happens, I'm not going to break._

Library duty was one of Takumi's favorite assignments - easy, repetitive tasks in a room where everyone had to be quiet. He felt a little sad, though, whenever he had to go into the science section, because it reminded him of Suzuki, only a memory now, and poor Morita, who shortly after the death had transferred to another school. Other than that, Takumi loved the well-stocked library, and during his first year had often hidden in its comfortable corners with a book.

"Lost in thought, Hayama?"

"Eh?"

"You've stopped."

"Oh..."

Takumi resumed scanning a pile of returned books, depositing them onto a cart as soon as each pile started to get too high. He pushed the cart around the winding rows of bookcases, checking call numbers and being careful to slip each volume into its correct place. (Thankfully, no need to go into the science section this time.) When he returned to the front desk, Misu was texting someone on his phone.

"Hayama, Saki has an unexpected meeting of the dorm heads. I'll be walking you back to our room when we're finished here, and you're not to leave it unless someone is with you."

"Gii asked you guys to hover over me, didn't he?" Takumi sighed. "I appreciate your concern, but I think you're all taking this too - "

"Seriously. We're taking Nozaki as a serious threat, and you should be too." Misu deliberately looked away, straightening a stack of cards. "Akaike told me what he did to you last year."

A rubber stamp fell from Takumi's hand. He quickly picked it up.

"I'm sorry to have to remind you, but what do you think that scum would have done if Saki hadn't interrupted? Wouldn't you rather your first time be with him?"

"It's already too late," Takumi said, barely audibly.

Sighing, Misu stepped closer, and Takumi jumped back, would have gone further if the wrap-around counter hadn't stopped him. Misu put his hands up and edged back.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I just want you to remember what Nozaki is capable of."

The concert hall had smelled like old wood and spring-perfumed dust that day. The afternoon light had begun to fade, it was nearly time to put the violin away. Takumi's mind had been full of Gii as he handled the gifted instrument, what he was going to do about his feelings for Gii, how and if and when he would confess. Then he had come in, asking for a song. Unhelpfully, Takumi had afterward wondered if, had he just played something, Nozaki would have left him alone.

Before he knew it, unfamiliar arms were around his body and he was being wrestled to the floor. Nozaki had only grinned and laughed at the frantic protests, waved off every bit of struggle and got him down. His hands had gone straight to Takumi's waist, begun to remove his belt. There was no mistaking the intention. Nozaki had been about to rape him.

 _Just like -_

"Hayama? You're shaking. Look, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, really. I just don't want to worry all of you."

"Don't be a typical victim, Hayama. Don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault." Misu frowned and held a finger to his lips at a trio of laughing second-years, who meekly quieted and scurried away. "I have some news you may like."

"What is it?"

Misu looked faintly annoyed at himself. "I'm taking Shinyouji out on a date."

Takumi's expression brightened, beamed. "Really? Where, when?"

"This evening, when we're done here. We're going to that little cafe, Nogisu, in the closest village." Misu hmphed, but there was a fondness in his eyes. "The little pain was so excited when I asked him, I thought he'd wet himself."

"Well, of course. He's in love with you." Excited, Takumi had completely forgotten his own problems. "How did you invite him?"

"You want details? You really are such a _girl_ , Hayama. Fine. It wasn't a big deal. I pulled him out of kendo practice for a moment and just asked him if he'd like to go, and he hugged me. I had to pry him off, but sometimes I like when he does that. It feels...warm."

"Misu-kun, you do love Shinyouji-kun, don't you?"

"I like him. That's all."

"A lot, though?"

Misu shrugged. "I have no frame of reference. I've never dated anyone. I just never found girls attractive, and I didn't want to admit I could be gay."

"I've never thought about it that way. I was never attracted to anyone either, before Gii. Do you think we're gay, Misu-kun?"

"Does it really matter? Besides, at least you have an excuse." Misu smirked. "I always just assumed I had no heart."

"You have a big heart, Misu-kun. I've seen it so many times."

Misu seemed embarrassed, and got quiet after that. They worked in relative silence for a while, until the next chime, then put everything in order and headed back to their room. They both changed clothes, Takumi into jeans and a pale blue T-shirt, Misu into a fairly dressy gray shirt and black slacks. Takumi tried not to giggle as the taller boy unconsciously smoothed his hair into neatness.

"Have fun, Misu-kun."

"Hayama."

"Nani?"

"Tell me if he ever hurts you."

"Who? You don't mean Gii? Gii would never - "

"Just promise you'll tell me if he does." Misu looked deadly serious.

"...okay. I will."

"See you later."

_Misu-kun is always surprising me._

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi tried to stay put. He finished his homework much faster than expected, and felt too restless to sit and study. He flipped through a manga Shinyouji had recommended, about ghost detectives working among the living, but couldn't concentrate. Gii's meeting hadn't started until shortly before library duty had ended, so he wouldn't be done for a while. Misu and Shinyouji were gone, he knew Toshihisa had planned to study, and he didn't want to trouble Akaike or Nozawa, but Takumi knew what he wanted to do.

_I need to play music. That's the only thing that helps when I feel like this, other than Gii._

Just as he reached for the violin case, his cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hi, dear!"

"Kayako-san?"

"I hope I haven't interrupted anything."

"Not at all. How are you?"

"Up to my elbows in swatches, darling, so I couldn't be happier. I called because I need to know your favorite colors."

Takumi briefly wondered if he'd heard her correctly. "My favorite colors? Green and white, I suppose, but why?"

"Light green or dark?"

"Dark, like the color of the woods."

"Wonderful. I'm starting to decorate your room, and you've got me thinking a forest theme would be lovely, with dark wood and maybe a mural of trees."

"My...room?"

"In the main house, dear, for when you're with us. I'm afraid we're a bit old-fashioned, so you'll have to sleep apart from Giichi until you're married."

"Kayako-san, this really isn't necessary." She wants us to get married too?

"Don't be silly, sweetheart. You're family, and we want you to spend as much time here as possible. Your room will be right next to Gii's, I thought you'd like that. Oh, how I love decorating! Takeo is such a stick in the mud, he thinks all light fixtures look the same. I mean, honestly."

Takumi laughed. "My father is the same way. My mother has to do all her shopping without him."

"I would love to meet them sometime. Perhaps for lunch, the four of us."

"They don't know about Gii and I yet."

"After they do, then. I can promise them that you'll be safe in Giichi's hands, and ours. Does your father play golf?"

"Sometimes, with colleagues," Takumi said.

"Takeo loves it, why, I don't know. It looks terribly dull to me."

"I feel the same. I've told Gii that if he ever gets into it, I'll leave him."

Kayako cracked up. "Good for you, Takumi-kun. We need to keep our men in line! I'm so glad to have a new ally. And I really can't thank you enough. Giichi has been so happy since you two got together."

"I should thank you for Gii. He's everything to me."

Kayako sniffled a few times. "All right, darling, I'd better get back to my fabrics. I hope to see you soon."

"I hope so too, Kayako-san. Take care."

Takumi stared at his phone a short while before stowing it back in his pocket. He had been so worried about meeting Gii's family, and he was already considered part of it. As if having Gii weren't enough, he was being presented with a new mother who already seemed to love him. So many years of pain and darkness, culminating in light.

Calmer but still craving music, Takumi took his case and headed out, feeling guilty but resolving to hurry back soon. Gii doesn't need to know I ever left. He headed down the stairs and out of the building, bowing to each teacher he passed, and smiled at Terazuma, the first-year fan of Gii's who always looked to be sulking or angry. _I guess I haven't gotten everyone to stop hating me yet._

The new arts and crafts room was empty, as none of the other students had yet gotten into the habit of using it, and Takumi was glad. Unless he was serenading Gii, he really preferred to play alone. He put the bow to the strings, and Pachelbel's "Canon in D Major" came out, unconsciously. Takumi knew that some couples had songs, and wondered if this should be he and Gii's. It didn't seem right, no matter how much meaning it held for them. Besides, Gii was such a pop music fan, he'd want something with lyrics.

_I'll let him pick, as long as he'll sing to me whatever he chooses. Gii has such a beautiful voice._

As he often did, Takumi daydreamed of Gii while he played, the sensitive eyes, the heartthrob grin. The feel of his hair, rough from being dyed so often, but Takumi liked it anyway. Gii's laugh, higher-pitched than one would expect, and his casual, but so cool way of standing, hands in pockets, expression closed off. He wasn't his true self with anyone else, and that made Takumi feel honored. His mind drifted into the sense memory of Gii's touches, recollection so absorbing that he didn't hear the door open and close. Only the voice that came the moment he set the Stradivarius down.

"Will you give me a song this time?"

Takumi froze. He could barely turn around to watch Nozaki approach him, getting too close, too close. Takumi's back was to the piano, and he knew that if he tried to run, he'd only be grabbed. Nozaki stopped about four feet away, staring hungrily as the prey tried to get his breathing under control.

"Is that a no?"

"Will you...leave me alone if I do?"

"Oh, no. Only your body can satisfy me."

"Why are you doing this?" Takumi gasped softly. "What did I ever do to you?"

Nozaki's expression went dark. "You turned me down. You chose Saki instead. Just change your mind. It'll be easier on you if I don't have to force you."

"No. No!" Takumi began to edge around the piano, slowly. "I belong with Gii, no one else."

"Have you let him fuck you yet? Was he mad, not being your first?" Nozaki smiled cruelly. "Because someone's had you, haven't they, someone you trusted? That's why you're so afraid of being touched. Who was it? A teacher? A family member? Were you too young to enjoy it?"

"Sh-Shut up."

"I'll make you love it. You'll see."

Now Takumi made a run for the door, only to be caught around his waist and his wrists held in one hand behind his back. It was horrific being against this not-Gii body, the wrong height, the wrong smell, the nearly violent touches. Nozaki went for Takumi's lips, and licked an ear when he was dodged.

"GII!"

"This place is soundproofed, baby. We're all alone here." Nozaki pushed his hand between Takumi's thighs. "Ssh, just relax."

Heaving uncontrollably, Takumi tried to squirm away. The hand around his wrists tightened until he cried out in pain.

"C'mon, don't make me hurt you. You know how many people would kill to be with me?"

Takumi's arms were jammed uncomfortably against the side of the piano, bruising from the pressure. Nozaki's fingers unbuttoned his jeans, and with an hysterical cry Takumi renewed his struggle. _Not again, no!_ He was thrown to the floor, momentarily dazed, then the taller body was on top of him and he was being restrained again, arms pinned above his head. He turned his head to dodge another kiss, and saw through his tears the marble heart, the place of Gii's confession.

His zipper was pulled down, and the sound pushed even Gii out of his head. "Niisan, please, don't, it hurts!"

"So it was your big brother, hmm?" Nozaki's breath felt foul on his neck. "I can't really blame him. You probably wanted it, just like you know you want this."

"You'll like this, Takumi."

_"You're a monster! You're not my child!"_

"Niisan," Takumi sobbed, and Nozaki made another hushing noise, then...

"I'll try to measure up to your big brother and Saki. Shouldn't be tough," he laughed, as though it were a joke.

His rough hand pushed into Takumi's underwear, stroked with a lack of gentleness the boy was no longer used to. Even Naoto hadn't been this harsh, usually preferring to treat him like a doll. There was the same anger, though, to get no reaction.

"Nothing? You frigid little bitch. I'm gonna make you come no matter how many poundings it takes."

Mercifully, Takumi's vision was starting to blur. He at first thought it was a dream to hear a shout and see the hazy figure of Akaike pulling Nozaki off and throwing him to the floor. Takumi tried to sit up, but could only prop himself on one elbow. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer, not at the rate he was breathing.

"You deserve everything you'll get for this and more," Akaike hissed; it was dream-like, too, to see the placid boy angry. "Move and I'll cut your balls off. Hayama, are you okay?"

"Yes...thank...you..."

"Breathe, don't try to talk." Akaike quickly dialed on his cell phone. "Gii, get the nearest teacher and the nurse and bring them to the old concert hall. Yes, but he's okay, I'm with him. Calm down and just do as I say, don't come without them. Yes, I promise he'll be fine."

Phone switched off, Akaike looked at Takumi with sympathy. "Gii's coming. Try to calm down, Hayama, he's not going to hurt you again."

Nozaki had remained sitting where he was shoved, sulking. "I didn't hurt him, I just - "

"Sent him into a fucking panic attack! You think that's not hurting?!"

"It's not my fault he's a freak!" Nozaki shot back. "You know he was fucked by his own brother? He probably begged for it."

"I would kill you," Akaike said in an icy tone, "but Gii can make you suffer longer. Your family is finished. You'll be lucky if you don't all end up at the bottom of Tokyo Bay."

The door opened and slammed against the wall. Out of breath, Gii took in the sight of a crying and hyperventilating Takumi and a Nozaki who finally looked intimidated. He flew shouting at the latter, and was grabbed by Akaike.

"I'll fucking kill you! I'll fucking kill you for - "

"Gii, stop, Hayama needs you. You didn't come alone, did you?"

The red Gii was seeing immediately cleared. Just as Ishiki-sensei and Nurse Kaoru hurried into sight, he shrugged Akaike off and ran to his boyfriend, pulling the spasming body into his arms.

"Takumi, Takumi. It's okay, I'm here."

The eyes were squeezed shut. "Niisan, please don't."

"Takumi, look at me, it's me!"

"What happened here?" Ishiki sternly asked, addressing Akaike.

"I came in and found Nozaki on top of Hayama, holding his arms down and touching inside his pants. I could hear Hayama screaming no as soon as I opened the door. He was already breathing like that."

"Panic attack," the nurse concluded, and hurried to the gasping boy's side.

"Nozaki-kun, is this true?"

"I didn't mean to hurt him! I thought he was playing hard to get."

"Nii...san." Takumi thrashed as Kaoru tried to feel his pulse. "No!"

"Baby, it's Gii, look at me! Takumi!"

The drenched eyes cautiously blinked open, and immediately the convulsing relaxed into trembling. "Gii?"

"Yeah. It's okay, you're gonna be okay now."

"Gii." Takumi's eyes rolled, his head fell back, and he went still.

"Takumi!"

"He's okay, he just fainted." The nurse was able now to check his pulse as she explained. "He was getting too much oxygen. The depletion of CO2 makes the blood vessels constrict and blocks blood flow to the brain. Fainting corrects that, restores the flow. It was the best thing he could have done."

His own tears flowing now, Gii nodded and held his boyfriend tightly to his chest. Before he could speak, the history teacher did.

"Will Hayama-kun be all right?"

"He should wake up soon with no lasting physical damage." She spoke directly to Gii. "He may have a headache and be tired and disoriented for the rest of the day. I'm sure he'd rather be in his room than the infirmary, but he needs to be checked on frequently and take his medication."

"I'll be with him, thank you."

Ishiki looked at the attacker with disgust. "Nozaki, you'll come with me directly to the headmaster. At the very least, you will be banned permanently from school grounds, and if Hayama-kun decides to press charges, he'll have our full support. Akaike-kun, will you come and explain what you witnessed?"

"Certainly, sir. Just give me one moment." Akaike quickly walked over to his friends, knelt down and refastened Takumi's pants, touching him as little as possible. "He shouldn't be seen like this."

"Shouzou, I don't know how to thank you, I never do."

"Just take care of Takumi."

The nurse lingered after the others left, listening to Takumi's chest and taking his temperature. "Slightly elevated, but that's probably just from exertion. Try not to be too scared if you see him faint again, Saki-kun. Think of it as the body correcting itself after a trauma."

Eyes glazed and wet, Gii looked traumatized himself, though he was putting on a brave front. "His pills make him tired. Should he take one anyway?"

"If he seems calm, just have him take it before going to bed, he'll sleep better." Kaoru smiled sadly at the still teenager. "I assume you know, as I do from his medical records, what caused this bad a reaction."

Gii nodded, and rubbed his cheek against Takumi's hair.

"You two seem right for each other. Some say you don't know what love is at seventeen, but I don't agree. Takumi-kun is better for being with you, and happy. What's love if not that?"

Gii stood, holding Takumi's light form protectively, and followed the woman who held the door for him. _Love is watching your heart walk around without you, and you unable to protect it._

_To be continued._


	6. Chapter 6

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 6 - Hold A Candle

It was lucky, as it turned out, that Takumi was unconscious during the return to the dorm building, because the students who saw Gii carrying him all wanted to know what had happened. Gii vaguely said he had gotten upset and fainted, and asked them to please not question Takumi about this. Most seemed genuinely concerned, for which Gii was grateful. Kandan burst into tears at the sight of his senpai, and had to be consoled by his friend Uta.

Misu returned only moments after Gii had settled Takumi onto his bed, and listened to Gii's explanation with eyes that burned over his neutral expression. He looked at Takumi a long time without speaking.

"Misu, blaming ourselves isn't helpful or fair to any of us, okay?"

"I'm sleeping in your room tonight, Saki."

Without another word, Misu grabbed some clothes and left. Gii smiled weakly as the door shut, then went and sat carefully on the bed. The tears on Takumi's cheeks had dried into sticky trails. Gii dampened a tissue and wiped gently, returning the beautiful face to its usual purity. His fingers traced the bruises forming on Takumi's forearms and wrists, and he swallowed back an all-consuming rage that he was determined his love not see.

_Baby, you're too kind-hearted to approve, but Nozaki will suffer for this. I'll call in every favor my parents have with the police, or I'll hire a rival gang if I have to. I want them all dead, or at least to live long lives without status, without anything, while you and I are happy and together, with babies that look like both of us. Whatever you want to do, I'll help you do it, and the next person that lays a finger on you, I'll tear apart with my bare hands._

Nozawa was texting him. Gii quickly sent back 'Tell everyone he's okay,' and shut off his phone. The hand he lifted and kissed felt cold, so he warmed it between his own. Remembering that body temperature drops during sleep, Gii grabbed a light blanket and draped it over the unconscious boy. He tucked some of Takumi's attractively mussed hair behind his ear, fingers lingering to trace the face's delicate features. He looked so calm now, like his nightmares were far away.

The adrenaline that had filled the elder boy earlier began to dissipate, and drowsiness crept in. Maybe we can meet in our dreams, baby. He stretched out on the bed and wrapped his arms around Takumi, and let himself be lulled by the warmth of their entangled bodies.

He woke in panic, to a bed occupied only by himself. Shaking off the numb fingers of sleep, Gii stumbled out of the room and raced through the hallways, calling his beloved's name. No answer, no one was around. He turned a corner and with relief met a vision straight out of his first-year dreams. Takumi had changed into all white and was standing at the window, more radiant than the sunlight surrounding him. He greeted Gii with an affectionate smile.

"Baby, I was so worried. How do you feel?"

"Fine. I didn't expect to be, but sleeping next to you did the trick. I feel better than I've felt in a long time."

"Are you sure? You can tell me."

"I love you, Gii. I always have."

"Oh, baby."

Gii took a step closer, then froze. A small spot of red had appeared on Takumi's pant leg and was expanding, lurid color rapidly spreading across white cloth. Nightmarishly, Takumi's peaceful smile never wavered as his clothes became soaked with blood and the fair color drained from the canvas of his skin.

"Takumi!"

He ran to the boy, caught him as he collapsed and knelt holding him in a pool of rushing fluid. "Gii, remember me," Takumi whispered, before he went motionless and cold, never to stir or scold or play the violin again.

"No! Takumi, TAKUMI!"

"Gii!"

"TAKUMI!"

"Gii, wake up!"

Gii's newly-soaked eyes flew open. He was back on the bed, feet tangled in the blanket, and Takumi was bending over him, pale with concern. Gii sprang to a sitting position and nearly crushed him in a tight hug.

"Gii, are you okay?"

"God, you were bleeding. You were bleeding to death and I couldn't stop it."

"It was just a nightmare. I'm okay."

Takumi settled into the embrace, nuzzled Gii's neck with his lips and mouth. Hands were moving frantically all over as if checking him for injuries, or Gii was convincing himself that the younger was really there. Damp kisses were pressed all over his face and throat, comforting now rather than a prelude to sex. Takumi met Gii's mouth and sucked at the tongue that probed him, disappointed when Gii wrenched himself away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be all over you right now."

"Why?"

"Baby, do you remember what happened in the concert hall?"

Takumi shivered involuntarily, and Gii's body surrounded him with welcome warmth. "Yes. I'm sorry I went alone, I just wanted to be by myself."

Lips brushed over his cheek. "Don't blame yourself. I guess you can be now, though I'll never like it. Nozaki will be taken care of."

"Gii, please don't hurt anyone for my sake."

"How do you really feel, love?" Gii was not about to make a promise he couldn't keep.

"I feel far away from it. Normal dissociation, Nobuta-sensei would say. It will pass."

"Will it hit you later?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm really okay, just tired. I fainted, didn't I?"

"Yeah. Does your head hurt?" Gii asked, stroking his cheek.

"No. You carried me here? Did anyone see?"

"They were just worried. I told them not to question you. Come here."

Gii gathered him close again, pressed together their bodies more tightly than before. He sat and pulled Takumi onto his lap, and being cradled this way touched off a memory. He was nine years old, dazed but no longer bleeding from his brother's attack, and after everyone else was asleep, Takumi's father had come into his room, picked up his youngest son, and rocked him while speaking in an uncharacteristically unsteady voice.

_"Takumi, I'm sorry we didn't see what Naoto was going to do to you. Be as angry at us as you want, but remember that I love you. And your mother loves you too, she's just torn up about this and needs to blame someone. We're going to get your brother help so he never does this again, and everything will be all right. I know you feel dirty right now, but you're not, you're the same precious boy you've always been. I'll stay with you tonight and keep away your bad dreams. You'll be all right, I promise everything will be all right. Ssh, go to sleep now."_

_Dad, that meant so much to me, that night._

"Baby, do you want to go back to sleep? Misu's gone for the night, so I can stay with you."

"I want to stay awake, with you." Takumi buried his face in Gii's warm neck. "Gii?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we should have a song?"

A soft chuckle. "Actually, I've been meaning to tell you. I heard one during my last trip that seemed perfect for us. Want to hear it?"

At Takumi's nod, Gii reluctantly let go and fiddled with his cell phone, turning the speakers up. He set it down, stood and held out a hand.

"Come here, dance with me."

"I don't know how."

"It's easy, just move your body against mine."

Takumi wrapped his arms around Gii's shoulders and let his head rest, while Gii encircled his waist and began to sway to the sound of pleasant music and a female voice crooning a ballad. It was surprisingly easy to follow Gii's lead, to let himself be guided and turned around. He understood little of the lyrics, only that the singer was saying she had loved someone for a thousand years, and would for a thousand more.

It was a pretty song. Best of all, when it was over, Gii didn't let go. He began to sing into the silence, translating the song into Japanese. The beautiful voice and the powerful words filled Takumi up with a heat that covered every damaged little space in him, and he began to weep soundlessly into Gii's shirt. He continued to be held and caressed when the song had ended.

"Gii, I love - "

Takumi's knees buckled, and he was eased down to the carpet and hoisted onto Gii's lap. He was crying hard, trembling with a fear he wasn't quite done with. If Akaike hadn't come, he would have been - 

"G-Gii, G-Gii..."

"Let it out, baby, I've got you. You're safe now."

"I was - so scared."

"He'll never touch you again. No one but me will touch you again."

Takumi clung to him and cried, his breathing mostly normal this time. He felt like he was emptying his heart of pain, and letting it fill with love again.

_tgtgtgtg_

Gii was not willing to let Takumi be alone for a moment, even after he'd calmed, but was very insistent that he eat, so he summoned Akaike to stand guard while he went to the dining hall. Akaike was his usual calm self when he entered, chuckled when Gii hugged him, and when he sat down in one of the desk chairs, he was trying to look at Takumi with no more sympathy than usual.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better. Akaike-kun, I don't know how to thank you."

"No need. You're my friend."

"You've been protecting me for a long time, though."

"I was protecting Gii's heart," Akaike said seriously. "If he lost you, he wouldn't survive. I've known him long enough to know that."

Takumi shivered. "What was Gii like when he was younger? How long have you known him?"

"Since kindergarten. He was very solemn, weighed down, I think, by expectation and by people always trying to get close to him. He rarely laughed, and never cried. The first time I ever saw him cry was the day he first saw you here."

"Gii told me about that."

"You don't know what it took," Akaike groaned, "keeping him away from you. I had to tell him every day he would make you worse if you knew how he felt. I hope I did the right thing."

"I think you did, and I'm grateful."

Akaike smiled. "He started smiling after he first met you. He was depressed when he couldn't find you, but he finally had a goal he looked forward to. Every good grade he got, every haircut, every skill he mastered, it was all to impress his 'adorable violinist soul mate.' Our first year here, he said your name in his sleep every night. I've never seen someone so in love."

Takumi blushed a little. "But Akaike-kun has a girlfriend, right?"

"Yes, but I think of other things besides her."

"What is she like?"

"Her name is Miku, we grew up living next door to each other. She's more plain than pretty, I suppose, but very smart, especially in science. She wants to be a chemist." Akaike scratched his head. "She actually was expelled from Hana Gakuin, our female counterpart, for building bombs in the basement. She wasn't going to set them off or anything, she just wanted to see if she could do it."

"She sounds interesting enough for Akaike-kun," Takumi laughed. "Do you miss her?"

"I see her on breaks. You probably heard we have three days off next week for teacher conferences. Miku said something about wanting me to help her make synthetic petroleum or something. I'm a little scared, to be honest."

Takumi laughed again, but Akaike's face went very serious. "Hayama, can I ask you something personal?"

"...okay."

"Was it true, what Nozaki said?"

"About what?" Takumi asked, tense because he already knew.

"That it was your brother that caused your phobia."

Takumi looked away, and nodded. "Yes."

"I'm so sorry. Since I haven't had to help Gii hide any bodies, I'm guessing it doesn't happen anymore."

"He died four years ago. He had been in a mental hospital for a long time. You don't think I'm a freak, like Nozaki said?"

"For being abused? Of course not. Don't walk around with that in your head, Hayama. No child asks to be betrayed like that." Akaike sighed. "Thank you for trusting me with this information. I'd guessed it was something like this, but hoped I was wrong. You really are stronger than I expected, Hayama."

"Strong?"

"If I'd been through what you have, I'd be curled up in a corner somewhere. Yet here you are, putting up with a lovesick fool like Gii."

"I really love him."

"You don't have to worry. He may be pushy, but he would never hurt you."

The door opened, and Gii entered with a tray in each hand. "Thanks, Shouzou."

"Any time. Be good, you two." Akaike gave Takumi an encouraging smile as he left.

Gii had gotten Takumi's favorite curry rice, and laughed as they remembered the uniform jacket of his that food had once ruined. "Of course, _you_ can throw it at me any time."

"Don't tempt me. Gii, do you know Akaike-kun's girlfriend?"

Gii frowned. "Miku? She once built a working volcano on my bed and ruined my favorite comforter. Very weird girl. Don't go near her, Takumi, she's a yaoi freak and wants to take naughty pictures of us."

"Gii...is it true what you told Akaike-kun, that you never dated anyone?"

"Of course. I never wanted anyone but you."

Gii was looking at him with concern, so Takumi finished his curry and gave Gii his pudding before speaking again. "Not even physically?"

"What?"

"You never even wanted someone...physically?"

"No. Not to be vulgar, but I just used my hand and thought of you."

Takumi blinked. "You thought of an eleven-year-old?"

"No! I imagined you at my age. Not that my imagination could hold a candle to how perfect you turned out to be. Baby, are you trying to ask me something?"

"You haven't...had sex?"

Gii looked at him lovingly. "No, and I don't need to. I'm happy with what we have, you and me."

"But what if...I want to?"

The question was whispered, but Gii heard it, and looked at him with amazement, then restraint. "You want to?"

"You're that surprised?"

"A little."

"Do you want to?"

"Only every waking and asleep moment...but baby, we can't do that right now."

"Why?"

Gii sighed, and put aside his half-full pudding cup. "Takumi, I'm all for helping you forget what almost happened today, but not by pushing you into something that could hurt you more."

"You wouldn't be pushing me, and I know you'd never hurt me."

"But you have been hurt, you might not be able to - Takumi?"

A strange look had crossed the boy's face, a coldness Gii had not seen since their first year. "You sound just like him."

"Baby, who?"

"My father. Do you know why I haven't told him about us? Because he doesn't think I'll ever be capable of a relationship, much less intimacy. He wants to keep me caged up, thinks I'm some damaged little child, and apparently you do too."

"I don't think that! Takumi!"

Gii leaped up and blocked the door his boyfriend was heading for. "Baby, listen to me."

"Let me out! If you don't want me, just let me go!"

"I want you every second, and no, never."

Gii had told himself he would never force a touch on Takumi again, but when the smaller body he pulled into a hug struggled, he refused to let go. "I'm sorry," he said softly into Takumi's ear, and he was, for a million things. He held on to Takumi until he stopped fighting, then manuevered him back to the bed and framed the pained face with his hands.

"Takumi, if you knew how much I want you, you'd probably run away from me screaming. I don't think you're damaged or weak or still the child I fell for. Every day, you amaze me with your strength. Every day I think I can't love you any more, but I do. I want to. I want every part of you, inside and out. I'm just terrified I'll hurt you."

His face felt warm, feverish even. A tear trickled out, and Gii brushed it away.

"I'm so sorry, Gii."

"Don't be. If all our fights are this short, I'd say we're pretty lucky."

"Gii, you're not going to hurt me."

"I want to wipe the past away from you, but I can't. One or a hundred good experiences won't erase your brother and Nozaki."

"That's not why I want to do this," Takumi whispered, breathing sped up. "I want you."

"Takumi," Gii whispered back, the three loveliest syllables in any language he knew.

He slid his hands into fine black hair, and kissed the mouth that opened eagerly for him. He pulled Takumi as close as he could, devouring him more passionately than he'd ever before risked, and let his hands explore all over the slender and flushing body. Experimentally, his hand wandered to the front of the boy's pants, squeezed gently, and found it hard. No scared noise this time; Takumi actually pushed himself against the caressing hand.

"Stop me if you need to," Gii managed to say quickly, before his tongue went back to work.

Carefully as he could, he guided Takumi to lay down and got on top of him, moving his mouth to the neck he couldn't seem to leave alone. Takumi arched into him, wrapped arms around him, and emitted encouraging moans so erotic that Gii was afraid he'd come in his pants from the sound. He pushed Takumi's shirt up, then quickly whipped it over his head. All that perfect skin revealed, and he moved his mouth hungrily over it, then latched onto a nipple and began to suck.

"Gii, what - oh..."

Takumi had no idea why this felt good, but it was sending pleasurable shivers all down his body. Gii soon gave the other the same treatment, giving the wet and abandoned nub attention with his fingers, keeping it erect and puffing it further in the cool air. Takumi pulled at Gii's shirt and the elder removed it, then returned to kissing him.

"Gii, I need you," was breathed into his mouth.

His hand moved over Takumi's crotch again for a moment, then he was unfastening the jeans and pushing them down. He pulled them past Takumi's feet, grabbing the socks on the way, and with an aroused gulp, Gii looked into Takumi's eyes for permission, and he got it. The underwear joined the pile of clothes on the floor, and just like that, Takumi in all his glory was bared to him at last. He gaped, jaw slack.

"Gii?"

"That sound you hear is all my higher brain functions crashing together," Gii said dazedly. "Baby..."

"I'm sure."

Gii quickly relieved himself of his own remaining clothing. He sent a mental order to his erection to be patient, then took Takumi in his hand, smiling at the questioning groan this elicited.

"I want you to come first, so you'll be more relaxed. It will be less uncomfortable."

"I thought you...nnn...didn't know how to do this either."

"I watched a lot of gay porn, so I'd be prepared."

"You watched - oh, Gii, _yes_."

Gii stroked him very slowly, pausing now and then to stroke his inner thighs, or finger the testicles, or rub his palm against the weeping slit. He kept his face close to Takumi's so he could kiss him, swallow the beautiful sounds he was making and keep them forever. He half wanted it to go on forever, the pleasure on Takumi's face, but he didn't want to come yet himself, and knew he would if he watched much longer. The younger boy spilled with an exultant cry, and Gii carefully caught it all in his hand.

Takumi smiled up at him contentedly. "Do it."

"You're really sure?"

"I want us to be as close as two people can be."

Gii bent to kiss him again. "Baby, I have to stretch you first. Will you be okay with that?"

"Yes. It's you, I know it's you. Just let me keep looking at you."

Taking in a shaky breath, Gii encouraged Takumi to spread his legs and bend them, revealing the most secret part of him that no one had ever been given permission to breach. He circled the entrance first with one slick finger, then edged it inside very slowly. Takumi's face creased with thought.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, it's just strange. Keep going."

The digit moved up and down, in and out, an intimation of ecstasy yet to come. It was a little uncomfortable when the second entered, but just the knowledge that part of Gii was inside him made Takumi want to continue. Then a rush of something blindingly good went through him, and Takumi seized up, then relaxed, then quickly began to harden again.

"Gii..."

The elder boy was grinning. "Good, right?"

"Do it again, please."

He need not have asked. Gii surrounded the gland with his fingertips and put as much pressure on it as he could, sometimes pausing to scissor the narrow passage wider. Takumi moaned, wide-eyed, and thrust into the penetrating hand, and the undulating of his lithe body was sapping Gii's control.

"Takumi," he groaned, and came suddenly. Takumi smiled when he opened his eyes again.

"Gii...you didn't even touch yourself."

"Don't need to with you. I really have no self-control."

But it didn't matter, he began to re-stiffen almost immediately. Takumi breathed heavily with half-closed eyes, but he kept his eyes on Gii's loving stare. Once he jerked in a sudden panic, but Gii grabbed his hand and he quickly calmed.

"It's me, I've got you. How do you feel?"

"Gii...so good...please do it."

Gii waited, though, working up to four fingers inside Takumi's tight heat. He was very gentle, and finally the panting boy grabbed his wrist and slammed the hand deeper.

"Gii Gii I need you - "

He withdrew his hand, and used some lotion from the bedside table to coat his erection. Gently, he pushed Takumi's knees up until   
they almost touched his chest.

"Gii, can we do it this way, so I can see you?"

"I want to see you too."

It was almost unreal, finally about to do what he had been fantasizing about for years. He positioned himself with a trembling hand, and began to nudge it inside. Even before the physical pleasure started up again, Takumi was smiling at him in wonder. He was pulsing around Gii like a heartbeat in a fist, and Gii had never known such wordless joy. Once all the way in, he lifted Takumi up slightly to kiss and enfold him.

"Gii, you're so close to me," Takumi whispered. "Please, more."

Gii slid out, then back in, and his hardness was squeezed in an almost painful but glorious pressure. Not just the physical pleasure, but just the idea of being inside Takumi made him want to climb to the roof and shout his joy. He hadn't been sure Takumi would ever be able to do this, and had accepted that, yet here his angel was, impaled on him and writhing so beautifully. Takumi reached down for a moment, and touched the small part of Gii's shaft that wasn't buried in him.

"God, baby, you're so...that's it, that's it..."

With Takumi's legs wrapped around him, Gii bent to kiss him, noting in the back of his mind that he had a flexible boyfriend. Takumi clutched his shoulders, ran fingers through his hair, even put his hands on Gii's waist to encourage the measured thrusting. Mine mine mine, I'll never let you go, Gii thought, and lifted Takumi off the bed so his arms could encircle him. They moved together like one creature, part of some collective whole that existed before the world was made, and knew that, in some way, they would be this close for all eternity.

"Baby, I'm close."

"Do it, do it - ah!"

Gii had put his hand around Takumi and given him two intense strokes. The boy came again, spraying the stomach above him, and his clenching finally sent Gii over the edge. He spilled ropes of wet warmth into Takumi and collapsed on him, feeling the fluid leak out around him and strangely wishing it would all stay inside a little longer. Takumi's legs fell bonelessly to the mattress, and Gii's softened length slipped out. He hoisted himself up and stared at Takumi, smiling when his eyes opened.

"Are you okay?"

"I've never felt this happy. Did I...do okay?"

"Baby, I've imagined this a million times, and even my best fantasies were nothing compared to this." Gii caressed his face. "Want to get cleaned up?"

"Yeah, I - "

A frightened look crossed Takumi's face, and he clapped a hand over his mouth. He quickly slipped out from under Gii and stumbled to the bathroom, where Gii found him vomiting into the toilet. Gii sat down and rubbed his back, cursing himself.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I should have known it was too soon."

"Don't be an idiot," Takumi gasped between heaves. "I told you, I'm happy. I don't know what's wrong, my stomach just hurts."

Gii touched his forehead. "You're hot. You must have caught that flu after all."

"I'm sorry, Gii. I ruined the mood."

"Takumi, nothing could ruin this for me. Come on, let me get you to bed and I'll bring you some tea."

The boy smiled wanly as he was helped up. "When I'm better, can we do it again?"

Gii grinned. "Of course. Next time, let's do it on Misu's bed."

_To be continued._

_I should say that I usually don't much like stories in which a victim of sexual assault is "fixed" with consensual sex. This is just how it happened here, so I hope it seemed natural._


	7. Chapter 7

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 7 - In A Stormy Sea

Takumi did, as it turned out, have the flu. He stayed in bed for three days, mostly dozing as his fever fluctuated, and threw up when he needed to. Nurse Kaoru visited his room and confirmed the diagnosis, telling him that trauma and stress could weaken a person's immune system. Without saying anything, she left a box of condoms which Takumi quickly hid, blushing from more than his high temperature.

Gii, to his great disappointment, was forbidden to skip any classes to stay with him, but he came between classes and brought food at mealtimes, which Takumi could sometimes stomach. Now and then, Takumi would wake up to find Gii holding his hand, or wiping his face with a cold washcloth. Gii would sing to help him drift off again, and that almost made the sickness worth it. Once, after a session of vomiting, Gii solemnly expressed his opinion that Takumi might be pregnant, and had a pillow thrown at him.

Like Gii, Misu seemed unconcerned about catching the flu, though he was spending a lot of time elsewhere. He brought Takumi his schoolwork each day and asked how he was feeling, but then he'd be off again. Takumi suspected who he was going to see, and was glad. Shinyouji visited with Toshihisa and Nozawa, and apologized for getting him sick. He always brought an orange with him, explaining that they were his grandfather's secret weapon against the flu.

When he was finally able to return to classes, Takumi expected to hear whispers about his fainting spell, and was not surprised. No one knew what had happened, but they seemed to connect it to Nozaki's abrupt disappearance from the school. Fearful of Gii, they only inquired about Takumi's health, but behind his back, the gossip was there. Takumi felt like his stomach dropped out of his body when he heard one second-year tell another that he heard Hayama-senpai had had sex with his own brother. Gii, who didn't hear this, saw Takumi go pale and asked what was wrong.

"I just still feel a little faint," Takumi lied. Gii then insisted on keeping an arm around his waist as they walked to history class.

"Hayama-senpai!"

Loud and quick as usual, Kandan came running up, breathless and looking worried. "Senpai, I heard you were sick, and I know something terrible happened before that."

"I'm fine now, Kandan-kun."

"It was Nozaki, wasn't it? I knew I should have reported him!"

"Please don't feel bad. He was...stopped, and I'm fine, really. I appreciate that you were concerned for me."

Kandan sniffled, and unexpectedly threw his arms around Takumi, who stiffened but then actually relaxed. Gii nearly pulled them apart, but merely watched with wonder as Takumi hugged the first-year back and patted his shoulder. Kandan had to be reassured a few more times, and reminded by Gii about the no-touching rule, and then he was off again, and out of sight. Gii let his hand rest on Takumi's nape.

"He touched you, and you were okay. I guess the phobia's been dealt with again." He grinned. "Even though I'm the exception, I'm glad. It would be hard for you to come to America and not be cuddled all the time, cute as you are."

"Do Americans really hug that much?"

"Even the first time they meet someone."

"I don't think I'd like that," Takumi said slowly. "Being hugged by strangers, even without my phobia."

"I'll keep them away from you. With girls, if we held hands in front of them, they'll probably just want to take our picture."

"Not sure I like that either." Takumi took out his phone to silence it, and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"My parents have called me six times since last night."

"Are you going to call them back? Something could be wrong."

"After class." He was determined to delay as long as possible.

They entered Room 112 holding hands, as usual. Ozawa, who often seemed to speak for his whole class, asked Takumi how he was and teased him about having a hot boyfriend to be his nurse. Shy Takumi surprised himself by saying Gii pulled off a short white skirt well, and for the first time, third-year Class B all laughed at a joke Hayama Takumi made.

"Hayama-kun," the teacher called, "would you come here for a moment?"

Ishiki frowned as Gii accompanied his boyfriend to the desk, but nodded when Takumi said, "Whatever you have to say, Gii can hear."

"All right. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Sensei, thank you. I'm good as new."

The teacher hesitated. "I wanted to let you know that Nozaki-kun has been banned from school grounds, and his photo has been given to the campus security office, just in case. And to tell you that if you want to obtain a restraining order anyway, or file charges for assault, the headmaster will summon the local police here."

"Thank you, Sensei. I don't want to involve the police, but I appreciate the offer."

"Your parents were notified of the incident yesterday evening, so they may want to take action themselves."

Takumi went bone-white, and swayed on his feet. Gii steadied him, looking alarmed.

"My...parents? You told them?"

"I'm sorry, Hayama-kun, but we had to. You're a minor, and sexual assault is a serious crime. Hayama-kun? Do you need to be excused?"

Takumi's breathing had sped up. "I just...need a minute."

He speed-walked out into the corridor, with Gii of course following. Takumi slumped onto the floor and buried his face in his hands.

"Baby."

"That's it. They'll make me go home, Dad'll never let me out of his sight again." On top of his heaving, the boy began to cry, and Gii hugged him. "I can't lose you."

"I won't let us be separated, no matter what I have to do. Baby, do you need me to go get your medicine?"

"I have one with me." Takumi fished a pill out of his jacket pocket and swallowed it dry. "I can't wait till I'm twenty to be with you."

"If I have to drop out and move to Shizuoka, you know I will."

"Gii..."

Even though they were in a public place, where anyone could walk by, Gii kissed him tenderly, open-mouthed but keeping his tongue back. Takumi clung to him as though already expecting to be torn away.

"Baby, don't worry. Maybe your parents will just be happy you have friends looking out for you."

"Maybe..." _I doubt it._

"Want to skip?"

"No." Takumi remembered something. "Your mother called me yesterday."

"To fangirl at you, I'm guessing."

"She wanted to know my favorite colors."

"Oh, she's doing your room, then."

"You knew?"

Gii laughed. "I just know her. She must have been happy, she always is when she gets to decorate."

"She said it's next to your room."

Gii smirked and shook his head. "Ha, and after all that wait-till-you're-married stuff."

"Eh?"

"Baby, our rooms have an adjoining door. I think this is her way of giving permission, not that I need anyone's but yours to jump you. Ever wanted to be groped in an empty classroom?"

Takumi rolled hs eyes, stood and pulled Gii into history class.

_tgtgtgtg_

When Gii knocked, Takumi answered and waved him in silently, as he was on his cell phone. Gii guessed easily enough who it was and hoped it was okay he overhear, but the call quickly came to an end anyway.

"I'll call you back, Dad, okay? Yes, I'm sure I'm fine. I love you too."

Once the phone was switched off, Takumi sank onto the bed and pressed his face to his knees with a drained sigh. Gii rubbed his back, not speaking until he sat up.

"Baby, they're not...are they?"

"They're not making me leave Shidou, not yet, anyway. I have to see Nobuta-sensei as soon as possible, and if he says I'm okay, then I can stay."

"That's great," Gii exclaimed, feeling a hundred pounds lighter in his relief. "He's on your side, isn't he?"

"Yes...but I also had to promise I'd come home during break." Another sigh. "I wanted to spend it here, with you."

"Baby, how about I go with you?"

"Eh? You'd do that?"

"Of course." Gii chuckled. "You've met your in-laws, I should meet mine. This way, if you're ready to tell them about us, I can be there to back you up and show them what a catch I am."

"Mother might not care, but Dad..."

"Maybe I can win him over. I'm charming, right?"

"More than anyone should be. He just thinks I'm too weak to be with anyone."

"Then let me tell him how strong you are," Gii said softly, stroking Takumi's hand with his thumb. "Let me promise him I'll always protect you."

"Gii."

He barely got the word out before he was being lovingly kissed, hands framing and stroking his waist above the shirt. Under the shirt now, stroking the smooth and fair skin. It was a new thing for Takumi to feel aroused, to get hard and not associate it with shame and pain. Gii touched him there, then slid down to his knees on the floor and looked up questioningly.

"Baby, can I taste you?"

Takumi blinked, then nodded. Had he not enjoyed so much doing this to Gii, he would have wondered why his boyfriend would want to do something like this. It had been gross when Naoto did it, and the thought of oral sex had always just seemed dirty. Gii, miraculous Gii, had changed the world so much.

Takumi breathed in suddenly at the sound of the zipper, and Gii noticed. "Bad memory, baby?"

"Yes...but don't stop."

"Let me give you a good one."

It was good, from the moment a warm mouth replaced the cool air around Takumi. Gii continued to run his hands up and down Takumi's sides as he tongued the organ, the weeping head where fluid and blood were gathering, the vein that ran down the shaft. He waited until Takumi had visibly relaxed, then began to apply pressure.

"Oh, Gii." Takumi could almost hear his thought. _I've got you, baby._

Having too little experience to have yet learned control, Takumi knew he wouldn't last long. A couple minutes of whole-hearted sucking, and he was undone, spilling down the throat that eagerly drank from him. A wave of light dizziness crashed over him, and he fell back onto the mattress which softly caught him. Gii refastened his jeans and sat down to watch him with adoration. Takumi also hadn't learned how much sex can loosen one's tongue.

"Gii? They know."

"Baby?"

"I overheard two second-years...one of them was saying he heard I had sex with my brother."

Gii looked astonished, then furious. He lifted Takumi with a gentleness that belied his rage, and tucked the bowed head beneath his chin.

"Point them out to me, and I guarantee they'll never speak again."

"That won't help, Gii. I'm more concerned about how they know. The only ones at Shidou who are supposed to are us, Akaike-kun and Nurse Kaoru."

"And Nozaki," Gii said lowly and tensely.

"Of course. He wanted to hurt me, and he's succeeded."

Takumi covered his eyes with his hand. Gii rocked him slowly, nuzzling the boy's hair with his mouth and nose.

"Baby, people won't believe it. It's too horrible."

"Or they'll understand now why I am the way I am."

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad," Gii mused. "But I can kick the ass of anyone who dares to believe it."

"Gii, even you can't control the feelings of everyone around me."

"I wish I could, though. I wish it every day."

_tgtgtgtg_

The days until the start of break passed uneventfully. Akaike, in a moment of uncharacteristic emotion, was observed flinging a book of English grammar out of a third-floor window. First-year Sakuma Miki was cast as the female lead in Shidou's all-male production of Romeo and Juliet, and from that day on began to observe the school's star couple more intently. Gii caught Misu doodling Shinyouji's name and threatened to show it to their whole class. And Takumi attended a soccer game, with Gii hovering right next to him, and Shidou's team won, largely thanks to Kandan's defense.

The day came too soon for Takumi's comfort. His parents had seemed happy to hear he was bringing his "best friend," and Gii kept up a steady flow of reassurance, but Takumi wasn't much comforted. He had decided he would, after all, tell them about himself and Gii, and he knew his father would react badly. On the phone, Hayama Tetsuya grilled his son like a witness on the stand, clearly expecting him to be traumatized by the Nozaki incident, and informed him that he had an appointment with his psychiatrist on the second day of the visit.

 _"Takumi, I only want what's best for you."_ That was the hard part, that he did, without realizing his son was no longer a child who needed to be coddled. Either Gii's charm would convince him, or else...

"Baby? C'mon, the train's here."

It was nearly empty, so Takumi had no qualms about resting his head on Gii's shoulder. The arm around him was like a safety net, its warmth so soothing. Takumi didn't realize he was trembling until Gii's hand steadied him.

"Takumi, if this is too much for you..."

"No, I have to do it. I want to do it. It feels wrong that they don't know something so important about me."

Gii smiled sadly. "They don't know you very well, do you?"

"No. What they do know was true of me as a child, but not anymore. Like the egg cookies Mother sends me."

"The kind babies eat?"

Takumi nodded against his sweater. "I used to love them. That's all she knows, or thinks she knows, about me."

"What about your dad? Did you have any good times together, play baseball or anything like that?"

Takumi edged closer, relaxing his hand out of a fist. "Before, he was always working and barely noticed me. After, he was just convinced I couldn't handle anything. I was injured during a soccer game, only a sprain, but he made me quit. If I went out, I had to call him every hour. If my temperature was one degree above normal, no school. That sort of thing."

"Is this way better or worse than him ignoring you?"

"I ask myself that, sometimes. I can never come up with an answer."

"If I end up hating your mother, will you be mad at me?"

Takumi kissed him. "Not at all."

When they arrived at the station, Takumi regretfully let go of Gii's hand, and tried not to stand too close to him as they exited and began to walk to the main entrance. A handsome but serious-looking man in a dark suit waved to them as they approached, and Takumi took a deep breath.

"Hi, Dad."

"Takumi, would a hug be okay?"

The boy nodded, but he felt awkward in his father's arms, always had no matter how many times he'd been there. He didn't panic, though, and thankfully there was no need to tell him about the recently-resolved relapse.

"You look a little pale." Tetsuya touched his forehead. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine. Dad, this is my, um, friend Saki Giichi."

"Oh, I apologize for my rudeness. I'm pleased to meet you, Saki-kun."

"The pleasure is mine, Hayama-san." Gii remembered to bow. "I wanted to thank you for letting Takumi stay at Shidou. I give you my word that I'll look out for him."

Tetsuya frowned, then it became a tight smile. "We'll see how things go for him there. Of course, I want Takumi to be where he's happiest."

As they headed out to the car, Tetsuya told them his wife was making Takumi's favorite roasted seafood dish ("My favorite when I was seven," Takumi whispered to Gii) and that Shichi had really been missing him ("My cat, I can't wait for you to meet him.") No wonder, Gii thought, that Takumi was so fond of the stray that the chemistry teacher had recently taken in; he was missing his own pet.   
During the drive home, Tetsuya questioned Takumi for a long time, about his health, schoolwork, college plans and life at Shidou, now and then asking Gii something as well. He was briefly stunned into silence to learn Gii's family was the famous Sakis.

They pulled up to a nice house in a quiet neighborhood, and Gii's first impression once inside was how neat everything was, the well-furnished interior as organized as a magazine photo. Gii really had no knowledge of psychology, but wondered if Takumi's mother was trying to compensate for her years-ago failure as a parent.

_If I do hate her, will I be able to hide it well enough?_

"Dad, I can carry my own bag, it's light." Takumi gave Gii a look, as if to say 'See? This is what he's like.'

A pretty woman with her hair pinned up and wearing a green dress came out of the kitchen, and approached Gii with a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Saki-kun."

Gii bowed and murmured a pleasantry, already angry because she had not greeted her son first.

"Takumi, dear, how have you been?"

The boy had visibly stiffened. "Fine, and you, Mother?"

She answered lighty, with a laugh. "Oh, your father is as neglectful as ever, busy with his latest case, but I have my clubs and classes to keep me busy. Saki-kun, Takumi told us you grew up in America. Perhaps I could practice my English on you sometime."

"I would be happy to help," Gii said slowly in English.

"Takumi will show you to the guest room."

"Takumi, take your temperature, too."

"Dad, I'm fine."

"Humor me, then."

"Okay," Takumi sighed, and gestured Gii toward the stairs. The first door they passed had 'Naoto' in katakana painted on it.

"Don't tell me..."

"It's been kept exactly as he left it." Takumi opened the guest room door, and they went inside. "Like he's just gone off to college or something."

"Speaking of which, how exactly is your dad going to handle it when you go to university?"

Takumi rolled his eyes. "By moving to Tokyo to be close to me. He's always getting job offers there."

"I would say it's sweet how protective he is, but I see how uncomfortable it makes you," Gii said softly. "Have you ever talked to him about it?"

"No," the smaller boy murmured. "It's his way of apologizing. I can't take that away from him."

"But shouldn't he know it's not helping?"

"I think he does. He just doesn't know what else to do." Takumi pointed. "The next door is the closest bathroom, and I'm across the hall."

"I want to see your room."

The walls were white with green trim and curtains, and the furniture a light-colored wood. There were a lot of books, Gii noted, and CDs of classical music stored next to the stereo. He laughed softly to see a small poster of Inoue Sachi, and resolved to get it autographed next time his old friend was around. Little touches here and there spoke of Takumi, the mystery manga, the green laptop and the knicknacks. He wondered if he could get a few minutes alone with his boyfriend, but was stopped when he went to close the door.

"What?"

"When I have someone in here, I have to leave it open."

"Seriously?" Gii shook his head. "What about when I sneak in here tonight?"

"Not a good idea," Takumi said glumly. "When I'm asleep, Dad checks on me every two hours."

"No way!"

"Yeah, he sets his alarm. I had nightmares for a while, ones I couldn't make myself awake from, and even though I rarely have them anymore, he's not taking any chances."

"I want to hold you so badly."

Takumi risked a brief kiss. "Me too. Come on."

He gave Gii a tour of the house, and they met up with Shichi in the living room, a fat and spoiled-looking orange cat that purred like a kitten in Takumi's arms but took an instant disliking to Gii. When the lovers sat down, Shichi leaped up onto the couch and squeezed between them.

"Sorry, Gii, he's territorial."

"I am too," Gii whispered. "Why'd you name him Shichi?"

"I got him on the seventh of July." Takumi pet the cat, who nuzzled against him. "Dad was working on a big case, a little girl who'd been murdered horribly. He won the case, sending the killer to jail for life. The girl's family were so grateful, they wanted to give Dad something, but they didn't have much. Their cat had just had kittens, so they offered him one. I was really struggling with my phobia at the time, and Dad thought it would help me to have something to cuddle. It did, a little."

"But you have me now instead." Gii lightly shoved him. "Ow, he scratched me!"

"He thought you hurt me."

"You're as bad as Misu, kitty."

_To be continued._


	8. Chapter 8

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 8 - All Are Punished

A truce with Shichi was not forthcoming. Gii offered him treats, his jingly ball toy, even tempted him with a ball of yarn, but the cat only looked suspiciously at him and made disapproving noises. With Takumi, though, he was all purrs, curling up on his lap and licking his face.

"That cat is jealous of me," Gii quietly complained. "And I'm jealous of him. How come he gets to lick your face?"

"Because my parents are two rooms away. And if you actually want to lick me, you're even weirder than I thought."

"Oh, I do, and not just your face."

"Gii..."

"I want to undress you slowly and lick you all over until you beg me to - "

"Gii! This is a really bad time to get me in the mood. Even after I tell them, I don't want them knowing you and I do anything...physical."

"They were young once, weren't they?"

"I think they've forgotten what it's like. Shichi, don't hiss at Gii."

"I have an idea," Gii said brightly. "Maybe if he sees us kissing, he'll stop seeing me as a threat."

"You're just trying to get me to kiss you, and anyway, that will probably make him hate you even more, if he thinks you're taking me away from him. Do you have any pets, Gii?"

"I had a cocker spaniel when I was young. She got sick and had to be put down a few years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Gii smiled. "My mother has a few corgis, and we have tanks of tropical fish."

"No elephant or pride of lions?"

"We have some giraffes at our African estate."

"Gii, I was kidding."

"Oh," Gii said sheepishly.

Takumi shook his head with a small smile. "Want to play a game? I have the new Last Legend."

"Ooh, I've been meaning to get that!"

Controllers in hand, Takumi and Gii spent the next hour and a half navigating a warrior and white mage through a medieval landscape in search of the Crystal of Peace. Youko brought them a tray of sodas and cookies, and spoke quietly in the kitchen to her husband of their shared puzzlement about how relaxed and content Takumi seemed to be, as he was usually jumpy and unhappy at home. They were pleased, of course, but confused, and wondered if their son's best friend was the cause of this change.

"Agh, I'm caught in a magic-null web again."

"Don't worry, I think I've got a restore flute in my inventory. There."

"Whew. Watch your hit points, you're getting low, ba-um, Takumi."

"Oh, crap, another Snake Boss. Remember how hard the first one was?"

"All too well." Quickly checking to make sure no one watched, Gii let his hand fall on Takumi's thigh and briefly stroked it.

The boy gave him an apologetic smile. "Your turn."

"Oh, right. Prepare to meet your maker, Snake Boss."

Shichi lingered around his often-absent master, twining himself around Takumi's legs and occasionally meowing to be pet. When it wasn't his turn, the feline's owner scratched under his chin or behind his ears, and Shichi closed his eyes and purred. Gii thought of something that made him pout.

"Does Shichi sleep with you?"

"For part of the night. He has a cat bed in the kitchen, and he likes to patrol the house at night, he thinks he's some kind of guard. Why? Gii, don't say you're jealous of my cat."

"But I am."

"I do things with you I don't with him, or anyone else," Takumi whispered.

"I so want to jump on you right now."

"When we're back at school, I'll let you do anything you want."

"Really? But what am I supposed to do about now?"

Takumi smirked. "The bathroom is down that hall, next to my parents' room."

"Meanie."

As the afternoon faded into evening, the boys were called to the dining room table, where they were greeted by steamed fresh vegetables, sushi rice sweetened with plum wine, and the one Gii really drooled over, a roasted dish of prawns, squid, clams and mussels. He barely managed to say "Itadakimasu" before plunging in.

"Youko-san, this is amazing. I hope you'll give my mother the recipe."

She looked flattered. "I'd be happy to, but I may charge you an English lesson for it."

Able to converse in his native land's tongue even more easily than Japanese, Gii gave his future mother-in-law some grammatical tips and mnemonic devices, as well as taught her a few slang words. To his surprise, Tetsuya occasionally joined in, explaining that he'd done a semester abroad in England when he was in college. Seemingly ever fixated on his son, he asked Gii if he helped Takumi with English, as it was a subject he'd never been confident in.

"That's exactly the problem, confidence. His answers are usually right or nearly so, he's just hesitant to give them."

"Overall, though," Youko said, not looking up, "Takumi seems more confident, especially considering...recent events."

The warmth seemed to go out of the room, and Takumi squirmed uncomfortably. Gii wished he was close enough to hold his hand under the table.

"I have the school's assurance that that pervert will never again be allowed on school grounds," Tetsuya said with a frown. "Nonetheless, Takumi, I've had a restraining order put in place. Nozaki will be immediately jailed if he comes within a hundred feet of   
you."

Takumi blinked first in surprise, then annoyance. "What? How could you do that without even talking to me about it?"

"A judge I know owed me a favor. There was cause, a confession of assault, and I just explained I wanted you kept out of court."

"I meant, why didn't you ask me what I wanted to do?"

"Takumi, I did what was necessary to keep you safe. The alternative was to file charges, to put you through a trial where you'd have to talk about what happened. Trust me, you're not strong enough for that."

Gii bit his tongue so hard that he tasted blood. Takumi stared at his lap, fiddled with his chopsticks.

"I'm not weak. I'm not a child."

"You're not an adult either. You're putting on a brave face, I've seen so many victims do it, but it's likely that what happened hasn't fully hit you yet."

"I am not a victim," Takumi said, close to anger.

"Tetsuya, let's talk about something else. You'll upset his digestion."

"Of course, I'm sorry. Takumi, what was your temperature?"

"Ninety-eight point six," the boy lied.

Maybe sensing his son's tension, Tetsuya switched to Gii, asking polite questions about the Saki Corporation, what their overseas ventures were, if the rumor about the New York Times was true. Happy to give Takumi a break, Gii answered more freely than he usually would, speaking in complicated business terms and even a few legal ones that impressed the man. A faint smile came over Takumi's face. Gii was making a good impression after all.

"Yes, I grew up mostly in America, and go back a few times each year." Gii crossed his fingers. "My family and I would really like it if Takumi could join us sometime."

Another frown. "I don't know about that. It's so violent."

"I would have a security guard with us every moment. I wouldn't let anyone hurt him."

"Americans are extremely demonstrative, though. I don't think Takumi's up to that."

"I promise, I won't let anyone touch him." _Mine!_

"Well, we'll see."

Youko spoke up. "Takumi's phobia has been much better this past year. It seems we were right in letting him go to Shidou."

"Myself and Takumi's other friends are grateful. We don't know what we'd do without him," Gii murmured, sneaking a glance that tried not to be too loving.

Takumi relaxed a little. "I really like it at Shidou. I've grown very comfortable there."

"Of course, I want you to be where you're happy," Tetsuya said hesitantly. "But I'll want to hear Nobuta-sensei's opinion. I've been worried about you, so far from home, surrounded by strangers, some of whom are clearly dangerous."

"Most of them aren't," Takumi said boldly. "I have friends looking out for me."

"I'd like to thank that Akaike boy."

Happily, the conversation drifted to more pleasant things - schoolwork, the upcoming dance that would be attended by the students of Hana Gakuin, interesting stories from Tetsuya's work. The lighter mood lingered a long time, through coffee and a caramel custard that Gii proclaimed he wanted to live inside. At the first yawn from Takumi, though, Tetsuya suggested he go right to bed, and told him he could skip his tea that night.

"Tea?" Gii asked him as they ascended the stairs.

"Remember, I told you I hate chamomile? Dad makes me drink it every night when I'm home. It's supposed to help you sleep."

"I wish I could help you sleep."

At the top of the stairs, Takumi risked a quick hug and kiss. Gii reluctantly went to brush his teeth, knowing he'd have to return to the bathroom after everyone was asleep.

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi lay awake that night, listening to the branches of a red maple creak outside. He wasn't sure why he couldn't sleep. Things were going well, after all, his parents seemed to like Gii. That could change once they knew the truth, but at least now there was a chance the relationship could be accepted.

_Dad hasn't changed, though, and neither has the way he sees me. He thinks everyone's a danger to me, that I'm still as weak as I was before I had Gii. Gii...I miss you. I wish you were here, holding me._

Familiar, soft footsteps in the hall. Takumi quickly closed his eyes, lay unmoving as his father approached, adjusted his blanket, and left as quietly as he'd come in. Not a minute later, different footsteps, and a welcome sight quickly slipped into the room.

"Are you awake?"

"Gii, what are you doing? My father - "

"Just checked on you, so you have two hours. Please, just give me a few minutes."

With an exasperated but bright smile, Takumi lifted his comforter in invitation. Gii eagerly hopped into the bed and put his arms around his boyfriend. They both sighed contentedly at the rightness of this, how at home they felt in each other's warmth. After a minute of basking, Gii began to kiss him, more and more heatedly until Takumi pulled away.

"Gii...we can't."

"I know, baby," Gii sighed, but wore a smile as he stroked a fair cheek with his thumb. "You know, I noticed something."

"Hmm? What?"

"I was looking at the pictures displayed downstairs. You were an adorable baby. But there are no pictures of your brother."

Takumi nodded. "It's been like that for a long time. When I was a kid, Nobuta-sensei suggested my parents remove all reminders of Niisan. At least for a while. They never put them back. I think my father is trying to forget him."

"I was hoping to get a sense of him, at least see what he looked like."

Takumi hesitated. "Come on, and be very quiet."

They tiptoed out into the hallway and to the next room on the right. As Takumi slowly opened the door, Gii whispered, "Are you allowed in here?"

"I suppose so. I've never been forbidden." Once they were inside, Takumi soundlessly shut the door. "Only Mother comes in here, when she cleans."

The room was very clear and neat, as though the ghost of Naoto lingered, slept here, did his homework. The bed was made, the pillows fluffed and waiting. Blue was the predominant color, various shades of it, giving an almost underwater effect. CDs were stacked by the stereo, athletic trophies were lined on top of a bookcase. But it was photos Gii was after, and which he zeroed in on. There was the same boy in all of them, it seemed, handsome enough, resembling his father as Takumi did his mother. Naoto didn't look like a monster.

From the pictures on the wall, Gii moved to the framed ones on the bedside table. They were all either of a young Takumi, or of the two brothers together. Up until about the age of seven, Takumi was all smiles to be next to his brother or on his lap. In the later ones, he was frowning. Haunted. Gii picked up the largest one, of Naoto grinning with his arm around Takumi's waist, standing in front of a river and small boat, and the child looking uncomfortable.

"It's like he was obsessed with you."

Takumi shivered. "I don't know why he liked that picture so much. I remember that day. We were alone in that boat, and he spent the whole time telling me...what he wanted to do with me."

"Oh, baby." Gii put the frame down quickly, as though it were cursed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you come in here."

"You didn't."

"Let's get back to your room. Let me hold you for a little while."

They did, and Takumi switched on his lamp before sitting on the bed. Gii settled next to him and pulled the boy into a tight embrace. Takumi pressed close enough to hear a steady heartbeat through the pajama top.

"You hate it here, don't you?"

"I don't like it. I try to. I have good memories here too. It's just...everything seems imprinted with Niisan, somehow. I feel like I haven't gotten away from him."

"You're safe, he can't hurt you anymore. What do you think he'd think of us?"

"Nothing good," Takumi said softly. "He was very protective before he changed. And after that, possessive. He'd scold me if I went out somewhere with friends, and tell me who to stay away from, especially girls. I don't know how furious he'd be to know I have a boyfriend."

"I hate him," Gii murmured. "Is it okay, that I hate him?"

"Yes. I do too...but I love the person he used to be. If I could hate him and nothing else, it would be easier."

Gii gently tilted Takumi's chin up, and initiated a slow, tender kiss. They held onto each other, breathed through each other, Gii's fingers sliding into Takumi's hair. It was enough, this closeness, though both wished they could do more. Then the door swung open, and they froze before springing apart. Tetsuya stood there in pajamas and robe, looking furious.

"Don't you dare touch him!"

"Dad, no, Gii is - "

Tetsuya didn't let him finish. The man grabbed his son around the waist and physically pulled him off the bed, and the abruptness and unintended violence of the gesture sent Takumi's anxiety levels skyrocketing, screaming unwanted touch, unwanted touch, unwanted touch. The boy actually screamed and thrashed until he was released, then pressed himself into a corner with eyes squeezed shut.

"Don't! Don't touch me!"

"Takumi, I'm sorry. You, stay away from him, haven't you done enough - "

Gii, not hearing or else just not caring, was not about to let anyone or anything keep him from his boyfriend. He went to Takumi, pulled the hyperventilating boy insistently into a hug. The moment Takumi's head came to rest on the offered shoulder, his breathing instantly went silent, and his body went slack. He clung to Gii as tightly as he was being held, rubbing his face against Gii's neck.

Tetsuya was gaping at this, rage overtaken by shock. As he spoke up in a daze, he didn't seem to notice his wife had come up behind him.

"I've...I've never seen him just come out of a panic attack like that. How did you do it?"

"I love him and he loves me," Gii said simply. "That's all I know."

"Dad, we're together," Takumi murmured, "Gii and me. I was going to tell you in the morning."

"Dear, what's going on?" Youko asked. "Is Takumi all right?"

"I don't know. I think we all need to talk. I expect you boys to be in the kitchen in the next minute."

Ushering his wife out, Tetsuya departed, leaving the door open. Gii lifted Takumi's face and lovingly stroked it.

"Sorry, baby. I guess we don't get to tell them on our terms."

"You'll be with me, right? Always, no matter what they say?"

"Nothing in life or death will ever keep me from you."

_tgtgtgtg_

The atmosphere in the kitchen was a far cry from what it had been in the dining room. Once everyone was seated around the table, Tetsuya put cups of tea in front of each of them, chamomile for Takumi, green for the rest of them.

"Talk," he said bluntly to Gii.

Gii felt nervous, an emotion he wasn't used to, but pushed past it to speak resolutely. "Takumi and I have been together for about a year now. We met briefly at a recital when we were eleven, and I'd been hoping to find him since then."

Recognition came into Tetsuya's eyes. "You were the boy who took a picture with him. Who touched him."

"You remember me."

"I remember Takumi had nightmares that night."

"Not because of Gii, though," Takumi said softly. "That was just a bad week for me. I was getting used to my depression medication, and bad dreams was one of the side effects."

"Takumi, what do you have to say about all this?"

"Just that I'm in love with Gii, and since being with him is what cured my phobia, you should be happy for me."

Tetsuya rubbed his forehead with his hand. "I knew Shidou was a bad idea."

"Bad idea?" Takumi echoed angrily. "What made me better is a bad idea? You really would rather I stay in this house that I hate, under your thumb, than be where I'm actually happy!"

"Takumi, calm down. Drink your tea."

In response, Takumi rose from his chair, grabbed the teacup and hurled it across the room, where it flew into a cabinet and shattered. Wordlessly, Youko got up and hurried to clean up the mess.

"Just admit it! You don't know how to deal with me, so you just pretend I'm some helpless kid!"

Before Tetsuya could speak, Gii grabbed Takumi's arm and eased him back into his chair. "Baby, relax. Let's hear what he has to say."

Tetsuya didn't look pleased to be in Gii's debt. "Takumi, I know I may seem overbearing to you at times. I just want to make sure you don't get hurt again."

"Why?" Takumi shot back. "Because you know you let it happen, both of you? Because my own mother saw I was raped and called me a monster because of it?"

"You never forgave me for that," Youko began to weep over the ceramic shards.

"No, I haven't."

"Takumi." Tetsuya looked sadder than any of them had ever seen him. "Your mother and I will never forgive ourselves for what Naoto did to you. We've always loved you, but had we paid more attention to you, we would have seen something was wrong and been able to stop it. Believe me, that kills us, every day."

Takumi's anger softened a bit. "If you want to make it up to me, you can start by no longer trying to get me to leave Shidou, and you can accept me and Gii."

"Son, it's not that simple. I think you're confused."

"Confused?"

"Takumi," Tetsuya said slowly, "being forced to have sex with another male does not make you gay."

The boy looked at him in disbelief. "I _know_ that, Dad. Nobuta-sensei drilled it into my head a hundred times. You think that's why I'm with Gii?"

The man turned to his son's boyfriend. "Saki-kun, I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I realize that you care about my son, and I thank you for that, but as I'm sure Takumi's told you, he suffered a trauma that's left him rather - "

"Delicate? Yeah, I've heard you call him that before. Are we talking about the same Takumi here? He's the strongest person I know."

Takumi reached out and grabbed Gii's hand, which squeezed his own. Tetsuya continued to frown.

"If it's true that your acquaintance is what eased my son's phobia, Saki-kun, I'm grateful. But understand my concern. Takumi showed no signs of being gay before now."

"Because I never felt safe with anyone before Gii. Because I never wanted anyone the way I do him."

 _I want you too, baby._ "Hayama-san, it doesn't matter to me if Takumi identifies himself as gay or not. Hell, I don't even know what I'd call myself. Like him, I've never wanted a single other person. If that's strange, then at least we're strange together."

Youko returned to the table, folded her hands, and spoke quietly. "You love my son? You make him happy?"

"Yes, and yes, he tells me."

"Then you've done what I couldn't." Tears were streaming down her face. "Thank you, Giichi-kun."

"Mother, please don't cry," Takumi whispered, and she put her hands over her face.

Tetsuya cleared his throat. "All right, let's say Takumi is gay, which would be fine with me. He's been hurt very badly. I don't think he's ready for a relationship."

"Then when, Dad? What's the magic age where I get over it? Do you give your witnesses a set amount of time to get over what was done to them?"

"Takumi, there are some things people don't get over. You just have to live with them."

"Then why do you want me to do it alone?"

Tetsuya sighed, and looked into his son's eyes. They were burning with a resolve he hadn't seen in a long time. It was the stare of the stronger witnesses, the ones who made it through trial and came out with a renewed determination to go on living. He looked to Gii, and found the boy watching his son with a gentle adoration.

"Takumi, I just want to keep you safe."

"I know, Dad. But you can't keep me forever. I'm growing up, and you have to let me."

"Do I?"

Takumi smiled weakly. "Dad, believe me. Gii is even more protective than you. I'm safe with him. The whole reason Akaike-kun was able to save me from Nozaki was because Gii's had him watching over me since I started at Shidou. That's how much he's always loved me. And I love him. Can you accept that?"

Tetsuya looked at Gii. "You're accompanying Takumi to his appointment?"

"Yes, sir."

The man stood, and adjusted his robe. "I need to think on this, and hear Nobuta-sensei's opinion. We should all get back to bed, and I mean _separate_ bedrooms. Takumi, come here. Can I hug you, please?"

Takumi put his arms around his father and leaned into the embrace. When he finally let go, Youko came close, and touched his shoulder.

"Takumi, I love you, and I'm so sorry."

Hesitantly, the boy hugged her as well, for the first time since childhood, and let her cry on his shoulder. He didn't tell her it was okay, because it wasn't quite. But he felt like a long tear in his heart was just beginning to mend.

_To be continued._


	9. Chapter 9

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 9 - What Conscience Makes

Takumi felt anxious the moment he opened his eyes. Only hours ago, Gii had kissed him, stroked his cheek and told him everything would be okay. Gii as so positive, so capable - two of the many things so lovable about him, but Takumi couldn't stop thinking about his father, his overprotective concern. Well, at least he hadn't flat-out forbidden the relationship.

Figuring Gii must still be asleep, as he was always as slow to rise as he could get away with, Takumi showered and pulled on jeans and a green shirt. As he walked down the hallway, he made a jolting stop to see Naoto's door ajar. A wave of panic rose, which he quickly pushed down.

_He's not here, he's gone, he can't hurt me anymore. I must have just forgotten to close it last night. But I did close it, I remember._

Feeling ridiculous but scared too, Takumi flattened himself against the wall and moved against it to get to the stairs. Once he'd descended, he heard Gii laugh nearby. Was he in the kitchen? Takumi investigated, and blinked in surprise.

Staning at the stove, Gii and Youko were wearing matching pink aprons. Youko was tending to a pan of bacon slices, while Gii was flipping pancakes and laughing as they spoke in English. They turned to greet Takumi with smiles.

"Hi, baby."

"Good morning, dear. Did you sleep all right?"

"Yeah, fine...what are you two doing?"

"Gii-kun taught me how to make an American breakfast. I'm so glad you're with someone who can cook, Takumi, you've always eaten too little."

"Unlike me, the bottomless pit," Gii chuckled in English.

Takumi was dumbstruck. He hadn't seen his mother this relaxed since he was a small child. Around him, at least, she had long been guilty and uncomfortable. In how many ways could Gii possibly prove himself a miracle?

The aproned cooks brought the food to the table, and Gii insisted on filling Takumi's plate with twice as much as he thought he could eat. Youko chuckled fondly all the while, and even when she said Takumi's appetite had diminished around age nine, somehow the light atmosphere wasn't damaged.

"Mother," Takumi began hesitantly, toying with his bacon, "does this mean you're okay with me and Gii being together?"

She took a dainty sip of coffee, appearing to consider. "Takumi, I know your father's always been insistent that you wouldn't be able to handle relationships for a long time, maybe ever. I can see why he thought that. What was done to you was a tremendous betrayal, on my part as well as Naoto's."

She wiped her eyes. "At times, I feared your father was right, that you had no chance of falling in love, being with someone. And now...even at such a young age, the fact that you..." She sniffled. "That you found someone so lovely inside and out, who so clearly worships you...how can I be anything but overjoyed and grateful?"

Gii lifted her hand and kissed it, making her blush. "I'm so glad to have found a friend in you, Youko-san. You're wonderful, and you've given me and the world its greatest treasure."

"You mean my roast seafood recipe?" she joked, and they all laughed. "I approve of your relationship with all my heart, Takumi."

"See, baby?" Gii kissed his boyfriend's hand as well. "I can charm anyone."

"Gii-kun, have you really been in love with my son as long as you said, or were you putting me on?"

With a nostalgic smile, Gii recounted his clear memory of that day, the impression it had made on him even as an eleven-year-old. Youko listened with a content expression, resting her chin in one hand. As Takumi listened, flashes of the event came back to him. But not enough, never enough.

"A private detective, really? How romantic," Youko sighed. "It must have been fate that you ended up at the same school."

"That's what I think, too."

"And you've protected my Takumi all this time, even when he was pushing everyone away. Thank you, dear."

"In protecting him, I protect my heart and what I live for," Gii said solemnly, and she sighed again.

"Gii, I love you," Takumi murmured.

"Then eat before you waste away to nothing, baby."

Takumi obediently swallowed a bite of pancake. Youko opened her mouth, then closed it, looking reluctant as she stirred cream into her coffee.

"I know it's awfully early to be thinking about this, but have the two of you considered...having children?"

"I think I'm still selling Takumi on the idea, but I want a lot of kids. Some adopted, and some through surrogates, so I can have a few as beautiful as him."

Her eyes teared up. "I'm so glad. After...after Naoto became ill and Takumi...I just thought I'd have to give up my dream of having grandchildren."

"You'll be a great grandmother to our kids, Youko-san," Gii said, and she impulsively kissed his cheek. "I'll be really happy if you teach them to cook."

Takumi drank the rest of his orange juice and stood. "Gii, we better get going. The bus leaves in fifteen minutes."

"Takumi," Youko called as they exited the kitchen, "be here for dinner. I'm making curry rice."

"Eh?"

"It's your favorite, right?" She smiled radiantly. "Gii-kun told me."

_tgtgtgtg_

To Gii's happy surprise, Takumi allowed his hand to be held on the bus, even though it was half-full and there were a few young women gesturing to them and squeeing "Kawaii!" Takumi seemed to be immersed in a total calm, a far cry from his initial discomfort at being home.

"Gii, thank you. I don't know what magic you worked on my mother, but it's been a long time since she was so at ease with me."

Gii shrugged. "I'm just glad I don't hate her after all. She just thought she was beyond forgiveness, and she sees in our relationship a chance to make things right."

"Now I just have to convince Dad."

"Well, he didn't throw me out or attack me. We're off to an okay start." Gii dropped Takumi's hand to slip and arm around him. "How much does he trust your doctor?"

"Completely. They've been friends since before I was born."

"Then the doc's the one I really have to convince."

Gii held Takumi's hand again as they entered the office and he announced himself to the receptionist. A few minutes later, a husky, bearded man with kind eyes ushered them into a smaller room. He asked permission before hugging Takumi, and surprised Gii by embracing him as well. Gii laughed and hugged back, used to such things as an American.

"So you're the famous Giichi," Nobuta said jovially as they all sat down. "I guessed you were special to him the first time Takumi-kun mentioned you. He glows when he speaks your name."

"He always glows," Gii said, resting a hand on Takumi's arm.

"I don't know if Takumi-kun told you what to expect here, but mostly we just talk about how we're feeling. Anything at all can be expressed here, even for you, because nothing said in this room leaves it, unless you tell me you're planning to commit a crime."

"Hai, Sensei. The only crime I ever think of is stealing Takumi away, but hopefully it won't come to that."

The psychiatrist smiled. "Takumi-kun, how are you doing?"

"Pretty well, Sensei."

"I understand you had a scare at school. Do you feel up to talking about it?"

Gii edged his chair as close to Takumi's as possible. The boy hesitated, but felt himself nod.

"I was alone, in the old concert hall, playing my violin. Nozaki came in just as I finished, and asked me to play him something...just like last time. He grabbed me, held my arms behind my back. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor and his h-hand was inside my pants. It all got blurry, and that's when Akaike-kun came in."

"You must have been terrified," Nobuta said gently. "What was going on in your mind?"

"Just not again, I can't do this again. I wanted Gii."

"Did you have any flashbacks?"

"Yes. It's like I was nine again. I had forgotten, but then I remembered begging Niisan not to..."

"Say the word, Takumi-kun," the doctor said firmly.

"R-Rape me. My brother raped me."

"Why are you making him say that?" Gii asked defensively.

"Not using a word gives it power. He's had enough power taken away from him. Takumi-kun, what did you say to Naoto?"

"After he used his...fingers, he made me touch him. It was h-hard. He said, 'I'm going to put this inside you.' He said it would feel good. I said, 'Niisan, please don't.' He told me to be quiet, that if I screamed everyone would hear, and...everyone would know I wanted it."

"Baby." Gii stroked the back of Takumi's head and neck with a comforting hand.

"What do you know now that you didn't know then?"

"That no child understands something like that, or can want it. Just because I didn't fight Niisan, that doesn't mean I was saying yes to what he did to me."

"Takumi," Gii said softly, "when I asked you about that, I hope you didn't think I meant - "

"I know you didn't, Gii, it's okay."

"This is very good, Takumi-kun, it's something you didn't uncover before, not even when we tried hypnosis. It's a good sign, both that you're remembering and that you're handling it."

"Sensei," Gii said, "may I ask something?"

"Certainly."

"Why would a person do something like that, and to his own little brother?"

"Well, as I've told Takumi-kun, since I didn't get the chance to examine Naoto, I only have theories," Nobuta explained, leaning back in his chair. "It's possible he himself was abused in that way, though we have no evidence of it. Remember that Naoto was about thirteen when this started, just having entered puberty and begun to become aware of his own sexuality. It's possible that he was feeling attracted to other boys and was distressed by this, so he focused his sexual yearnings on something innocent, something that still seemed gender-neutral."

"But he must have loved Takumi. How, then, could he hurt him?"

"Because he rationalized what he did, and because he was ignorant. Sex felt good for him, so he thought it must for Takumi-kun. He had to believe that to be able to molest and rape him. In Naoto's mind, he was giving his beloved little brother the attention he didn't get elsewhere. It's possible to love someone and hurt them terribly."

"And Takumi's parents were no help."

"In fact, their inattention made Takumi-kun a more vulnerable target. Starved for familial affection, Takumi-kun was not about to complain when he did get attention, however much he disliked it."

"Sensei, did you tell my father this?"

"I did, yes."

"No wonder he hovers so much," Takumi said under his breath. "Sensei, I have a favor to ask."

"Ah, regarding Saki-kun?"

"A little. I want you to hypnotize me again, this time to the day I met Gii. I want that memory back."

The doctor looked surprised. "Oh. Of course, we can give it a try. Would you prefer Saki-kun leave the room for this?"

No surprise to either of them, Takumi requested that Gii stay. The boy relocated to lay on the black leather couch, and Nobuta dimmed the room's light, and asked Gii a few questions about the meeting. He began to speak in a low monotone, very gradually instructing Takumi to relax his body and mind. The boy seemed to sink into the soft cushions, breathing very slowly and quietly. Nobuta told him he would wake up once he counted down to the number one, and told Takumi to go into his memory and find the day of his violin recital in Nagano.

"I'm nervous," Takumi murmured, sounding far away. "Inoue-san is one of the best that Suda-sensei has ever taught, and I know I'll never match him."

"You're playing your violin now, Takumi-kun. How do you feel?"

"Better, lighter, I always do when I play. But tired. I had bad dreams last night."

"About your brother?"

"Yes. He had a hundred hands, all on me."

Gii moved to touch Takumi, but the doctor waved him back. "The recital is over, Takumi-kun. You're standing with your parents, waiting to leave. Someone is approaching you."

"I'm a little scared, but he seems so nervous, and nice. He liked my performance." Takumi smiled. "He's so handsome and cheerful. I want to be like him."

"He's taking photos with you now."

"I want to ask him to send me a copy, but then he touches my shoulder, and Niisan flashes in my head. Giichi is worried about me, I feel bad."

"He speaks to your father."

"He says he's sorry, that he didn't mean to hurt me. I don't want to go." A tear trickled down Takumi's face. "Dad makes me leave, but I don't want to leave Giichi. I want to be able to be touched. I don't want to go!"

"Baby..." Gii physically ached from his need to hold his boyfriend. "Sensei, please, get him out!"

"Takumi-kun, you're about to wake up, at which time you'll feel fine. Five, four, three, two, one."

Takumi's eyes opened, and he practically flew off the couch and into Gii's snug embrace. He was breathing heavily, but in an exerted rather than panicked way, and crying quietly into Gii's shirt.

"I didn't want to leave you. I didn't want to be away from you either."

"You won't be away from me again," Gii reassured, rubbing his nose against Takumi's neck. "I've got you and I'll never let you go. Baby, it's like I told you. We were destined to be together, and somehow you knew it too."

"If I had just spoke up, we could have known each other sooner."

"That might not have been good," Gii joked. "Even at eleven, I wanted to jump on you."

Takumi seemed to remember they weren't alone, and drew back with an embarrassed chuckle. Nobuta was grinning as they took their seats.

"Takumi-kun, no need to be bashful. What did you learn from your regression?"

"I think...I was attracted to Gii right away. That scared me even more than him touching me did. Is that strange?"

"Not at all. At that age, you had hardly a concept of what a romantic relationship was, except that it involved touching and sex. You associated these things with Naoto, with pain and humiliation. You feared that a relationship with Saki-kun would be the same, and that wanting that meant you wanted the things Naoto did. Untrue, of course, but it's perfectly understandable that you felt that way."

Takumi smiled at Gii, who brushed the back of his fingers down the younger's cheek.

"Saki-kun, you don't have to answer, but I've wondered. Takumi-kun said you cured his phobia, but didn't go into detail. How did you do it?"

"It just happened," Takumi said quickly.

"I forced him."

"Gii!"

"I need to know what I could have done to you. Sensei, I held him down on his bed and touched him while he told me no. After a short time he seemed to see it was me and touched back, but I really could have hurt him, couldn't I?"

Nobuta frowned. "What was your intention?"

"I thought if I showed him it didn't have to hurt, he'd be better." Gii looked distraught, and Takumi grabbed his hand. "He forgave me, but I can't forgive myself."

"Gii..."

"I'm guessing he panicked."

"Yes, for a minute."

"Don't do it again. You could have pushed him into a dissociative state, or made the haphephobia a great deal worse. Some people have actually suffered heart attacks when faced with too much of what they're phobic of."

"Oh, God."

"Gii, I'm fine. I love you and I'm fine." Unusually boldly, Takumi grabbed Gii's shoulders and kissed him, kept kissing him until he smiled. "Sensei, please don't tell my father."

"The confidentiality of this room is sacrosanct, Takumi-kun, and one well-meaning mistake doesn't make a bad boyfriend. As far as I'm concerned, Giichi-kun is good for you." Nobuta smiled. "And that will be my report to your father."

_tgtgtgtg_

Gii felt a hundred pounds lighter after the appointment, and glad that he'd gotten to confess what he thought of as his crime against Takumi. The doctor hadn't been able to absolve him, but Takumi did, always had, and that was enough forgiveness to let Gii go on with his life.

The boys decided to stay in Shizuoka's business district for a while, and Tetsuya gave Takumi his permission over the phone. They wandered through a few clothing stores, where Takumi gigglingly forced Gii to try on things that didn't suit him at all, including a suede jumpsuit and a pink leather jacket.

"I think this is for women," Gii complained. "I can't get my arms out!"

Takumi pulled the ugly garment off him, and dropped a purple beret on his head. He was a good sport for Gii's demands in turn, going so far as to try on a pair of shorts so highly cut that they rendered Gii speechless. He drew the line, though, at the yellow sundress that his boyfriend swore would suit him perfectly.

"Can I buy you something? Pleeeeease?"

"No. I wanted to buy some new jeans, but I don't see any I like."

"Let me have my tailor make you some."

"No. In fact, come on, I'm buying you ice cream at Noriko's. It's the best in town."

Gii was never one to say no to food, though it was anyone's guess where the slender boy stored it all. The shop was an old-fashioned parlour, with a jukebox playing American 50s music and waitresses wearing pink uniforms and swept-up hairdos. After they slid into a booth and perused the large menu, Takumi ordered a mango ice cream cone with almonds and Gii a strawberry with rainbow sprinkles.

"Good choice. They make it with fresh strawberries."

"I love strawberries, they're almost as sweet as - " Gii's phone made a noise, and he examined it. "A text from Shouzou. Great, he says the conferences have been extended by a day."

"I have another day with you to myself?" Takumi beamed. "This day just keeps gtting better."

"Baby, I have an idea. You can say no, but do you think your parents can spare you for the last day?"

"Hmm? For what?"

Gii smiled. "So you can come with me to visit one of your future homes. Grand-mere is visiting and she can't wait to meet you."

"Well...I can ask Mother and Dad. Will your parents agree to it?"

"Are you kidding? In their eyes, and mine, you belong there as much as I do. Hold on, I'll call Mom." Gii dialed. "Hi, it's me. Listen, we've got an extra day off from school, how'd you like me to bring Takumi for a day?"

He quickly moved the phone away from his ear, and Takumi heard happy squealing.

"Mom, don't fangirl, you'll scare him. Yeah, she'll be excited, won't she?" Gii rolled his eyes. "Mom, Takumi won't care that his room isn't done."

"I really don't," Takumi said quickly.

"The furniture's there , right? No, Mom, the mural can wait, you don't have to rush the artist in today. I'm sure Kurakawa-san has other things to do."

Takumi blinked. "Kurakawa Yuki, the famous painter?"

"Yeah, he's a family friend. Mom, I've got to go, you're giving me a headache. Expect us sometime tomorrow, late morning, if Takumi's parents say it's okay. No, you don't need to call them. No, no limo, we'll take a train. Yes, I will kiss him for you. Bye." Gii awkwardly bent over the table to press his lips to Takumi's cheek. "Well, I think we made her happy."

"Gii, that reminds me. Kissing someone on both cheeks isn't really an American greeting, is it?"

"Ha, no, if you did that in America, you'd get a lot of weird looks. It's more European. I just wanted an excuse to put my mouth on you."

Takumi blushed, and their order came just in time to help him cool down. After one bite, Gii declared it the best ice cream ever, and mused that he might buy and franchise the place, to make it more easily available. Takumi laughed and shook his head.

"I hope your mother isn't going to any trouble."

"Oh, she's probably installing skylights in our honor or something." Takumi groaned, and Gii stroked his hand. "Kidding, baby. She'll rush around and drive the staff crazy, but she's happy. You know, as a kid, when she saw me missing you, she would always encourage me by saying that if we were meant to find each other, we would. She and Grand-mere are both romantics."

"I'm glad they passed that on to you," Takumi murmured. "What is your grandmother like?"

"Her family is old-money from a long way back, related to the last ruling house of France. Some of her relatives were scandalized when she moved here and married a Japanese man, but she and Ojiisan were really in love, right up until he died five years ago." Gii paused to swallow a huge bite of his cone. "Since then, she's been going on safaris, mountain hikes, archaeological digs all over the world. Mom worries, but really, she's healthier than any of us."

"She sounds fascinating."

"Yeah, she's a lot of fun. She even does kick-boxing for exercise. One time she got to spar with Mohammed Ali, the famous American boxer, and she swears to this day that she knocked him down."

"Sometimes I wonder what I'm getting into with your family," Takumi confessed.

"A place where you will be cherished beyond words."

As if on cue, the 50s rock music ended, and the sound of a recent and familiar tune filled the air. "A Thousand Years," their song. Gii's eyes twinkled, and impulsively he stood and extended a hand.

"May I have this dance?"

 _There are people watching, people who know me._ Instead of protesting, Takumi found himself rising and stepping into Gii's arms. A few murmurs of "Aw" came from around the shop, and even the flash of a camera or two. Looking into Gii's loving eyes, Takumi decided the world and all its judgments could wait for a few minutes.

_To be continued._


	10. Chapter 10

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 10 - The Process of Dealing

And so, Gii was again forbidden to do what was a great pleasure for him - buy Takumi something. So far in their relationship he'd only been allowed to give two gifts, the sweater for Christmas and the electronic dictionary for a birthday. Of course, there was also the violin, which Takumi considered his second most prized possession, after Gii himself. As they did the short walk home from the bus stop, Gii couldn't resist a little pleading.

"Well, after you get your license, I can at least buy you a car, right?"

"No. And Gii, this is non-rural Japan, we don't need cars."

"Just for you to drive for fun, then."

"No. My depth perception isn't good anyway, I wouldn't be a safe driver."

Gii grabbed his hand, willing to re-think this if it was a question of safety. "Why won't you let me buy you anything?"

"Gii, you gave me a Stradivarius."

"Doesn't count. I just had that laying around waiting for you."

Takumi shook his head. "You also saved the old concert hall."

"Doesn't count either," Gii said stubbornly.

"I don't need anything but you."

"But I like giving you things. And after we're married you can just buy anything you want yourself, so it won't be the same. How about a beach house?"

"You're impossible. If I didn't love you, I'd leave you for Misu-kun."

It was obviously a joke, but Gii frowned.

"Gii, you're not still thinking he actually likes me, are you?"

"He's nicer to you than anyone else, and makes jokes about wanting to see you naked. Takumi, don't you notice how people look at you?"

"Yes, with hatred."

"Not all of them."

"I notice people staring at _you_ ," Takumi said. "I don't like it. You should make an effort to be less hot."

That seemed to cheer Gii up. The sun was just preparing to set, and to paint the sky in its passing with shades of orange and purple. Gii loved the sight of a pretty sky, and they stopped to watch it.

"You know, those years I was searching for you, I hoped one day we'd watch sunsets together. That thought kept me going while I missed you."

Takumi hugged him from behind, as he had the first time he intimately touched his boyfriend. "I'll be here for all your sunsets, Gii. I'm not ever going away."

Gii lifted one of his hands and pressed his lips to the palm, the wrist. They remained still until it began to darken, then walked the short remaining distance. The spicy smell of curry drifted to them the moment they entered the genkan, and Youko came to greet them with a warm "Okaeri nasai."

"How did it go, Takumi?"

"Pretty well, I think."

"And how are you, Gii-kun?"

The teenager pouted playfully. "Takumi won't let me buy him a beach house."

She laughed. "He's never been very materialistic. Takumi, if it makes your boyfriend happy to spoil you, just consider yourself lucky."

Takumi shook his head. "You can spoil the kids when we have them."

"Oh, I will. They all get beach houses. But the girls can't date until they're thirty."

"That's hypocritical of you," Takumi laughed with a smile.

"You'll end up annoying the kids so much, they'll want to stay with their Obaasan," Youko said. "Fine with me!"

"Mother, Gii and I are going to play a video game."

"All right, dear. I'll call you for dinner."

Takumi led Gii by the hand to the bedroom, and as soon as the door was shut, his arms were around Gii and their lips were feverishly pressed together. It was still slightly unusual for Takumi to initiate such heated contact, and Gii was thrilled as he ran his hands over Takumi's back, then lower to squeeze.

"Baby, what about the open-door rule?"

"Dad's not home, and Mother won't check. She's too eager to be on my good side now. Anyway, she clearly approves of you." Takumi groaned as he was palmed through his jeans. "Gii..."

"You're hard." The solid organ Gii clutched felt warm, pulsing almost. "Can I suck you, baby?"

Takumi nodded enthusiastically, and was guided to lay on his bed with his legs draped over the side. Gii took his time, loving the sight of his boyfriend panting with arousal rather than panic, pushing his shirt up to caress the pale skin. A few lovely moans from Takumi later, he pulled the pants and underwear down, and dove in like a thirsty man after water.

"Gii...please..."

Takumi was clearly ready to come, but Gii wasn't ready to give up the look and feel of him undulating gracefully, undone by the pleasure of the moment and what was shortly to be. He kissed the inside of Takumi's thighs, rubbed his nose against the stomach, slicked a finger with saliva and tormented the prostate a little. The glistening erection bobbed and leaked against his chin, and he was willing to let it a while longer. But Takumi was begging and panting, and Gii could deny him nothing.

Suction, pressure so intense it was wonderfully painful. Hand covering his mouth, Takumi spilled, and tried not to thrust up and choke his lover. Gii relaxed his throat and guided Takumi in and out, hands on slender hips. Gii himself came into his pants; as always, he needed no stimulation but watching Takumi climax. After a slow kiss, Gii briefly excused himself to get cleaned up and change. When he returned, he lay on the bed with Takumi in his arms, where they both belonged.

"Gii, do you want to take over your dad's company?"

"Hmm, that's a strange question."

"Is it?"

"It's just that no one's ever asked me." Gii kissed the top of his head. "I guess I want to. I never much thought about it."

"Your parents never said you could do something else?"

"No, baby, they've been grooming me to head the company since I was born. My mother's pregnancy was hard on her, and she couldn't conceive again. To my parents, I'm their future and the future of the Saki Corporation. There's no other choice for me."

"I don't want you to be unhappy," Takumi said glumly.

"I'm not, and I won't be. If I have you, I'll be fine doing anything. It won't be an easy job, but I'll have years of training for it under my belt. With enough people under me, I'll be able to have time with you, and when I travel, you'll come with me whenever you don't have a performance. If you do, we can have phone sex." Takumi smacked his head, and Gii laughed. "Seriously, not taking over would be like deciding not to breathe. I've always known that would be my career."

Takumi kissed him, sweetly and almost shyly. Gii licked his lips until they opened, and traced Takumi's teeth and tongue with his own. It was a kiss that had nothing to do with sex, was purely about feeling close to one another. Were it not so passionate, one could even call it friendly.

"Baby," Gii began when they parted mouths, "why did you quit the violin, when playing makes you so happy?"

Hesitation. "I'm not really sure."

"Think about it."

"Maybe it was because it made me happy."

"What do you mean?"

"Niisan was dead, and it was my fault."

Gii's expression darkened with worry. "What? Why would you think that?"

"He was in that hospital because of me."

"Because of what he did to you," Gii corrected, cradling his cooling hand. "There's a difference. What he did was not in the least your fault."

Takumi went on, seemingly unconvinced. "Then when he wandered in the rain, it was because he was looking for me, to apologize. After those few years, he had finally realized he did something horrible, and he died before I could forgive him. I still haven't."

"You don't need to. I mean, I'm all for it if it makes you feel better, but some things aren't pardonable. It's okay to hate him. I do."

Takumi smiled weakly. "He was so loved, so good at everything. And kind, once. It's not fair that I got to live and he didn't."

"You are more loved than anyone on this planet," Gii said softly, running his thumb over soft pink lips.

"I love you, too. I think...in quitting violin, I was punishing myself for what he did to me. Like I needed to suffer for it too."

"But you hadn't done anything wrong."

Takumi sighed. "I thought I had. Nobuta-sensei had to tell me in every session that I had no culpability for Niisan's actions."

"Why would you think you did?"

"Sensei said sexual assault victims often do. It's how we make sense of what happened to us. We need a reason for something unreasonable."

"I guess that makes sense. I'm glad you're playing again. You're too good not to."

Takumi smiled. "Do you really think I could do it professionally?"

"Absolutely. And it's what you want, right?"

"I can't think of anything I'd rather do. Dad wants me to go to law school, I think."

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Gii askd seriously, and Takumi chuckled.

"I don't think he'd appreciate that. He thinks he knows what's best for me, no one else."

"Well, maybe we will go to Todai, that should make him happy. I've heard their music program is the best, same with the business degree tracks. Can you imagine us running around Tokyo together? All the otaku who would squee at us?"

"Is that your way of convincing me?" Takumi made a face. "I hope we get to be dormmates."

"No need to worry, my family has some condos in the city. Mom's already offered us our pick."

"Gii, how many houses do you have?"

"I don't know. Like, forty? I've never counted."

"You say that so casually," the younger groaned.

"It's always been my life, and now it's yours too. I bet you'll like the estate near Johannesburg. In addition to the giraffes, we have zebras and monkeys all over the place. They're so friendly, they'll eat right out of your hand. Our Paris townhouse is right on the Champs Elysee, and at Christmas it's incredible, snow and twinkling lights everywhere. Then there's Elworth Castle in Dorset..."

Takumi listened contentedly as Gii's smooth voice sang him a lullaby of his future homes, feeling sated and pleasant where he'd otherwise have been intimidated. Gii described the wide lawns and formal gardens he'd run through as a child, the pond koi who used to eat lettuce from his fingers, the elephants he'd ridden in Africa. Gii wanted their future life to be full of travel too, especially with the kids.

"I want their world to be big," he said earnestly, and Takumi agreed. Gii even said they should consider removing the kids from school at some point to make travel as a family easier.

"I can't stand the thought they might be bullied. It's awful to watch a loved one to go through that."

Takumi touched his cheek. "They'll have friends to look after them. Don't you want to give them the same chance for romance we got?"

"Nope. Not dating till they're thirty."

"I guess I'm going to be the fun parent."

All too soon, the boys were called to dinner, and Tetsuya met them at the table by greeting them both. Gii almost drooled at the smell of the curry and the homemade mango chutney to go with fresh-baked bread. Youko refilled his plate with a laugh after only a minute, and everyone was happy to see Takumi eat two full helpings and compliment his mother. There was little more than small talk until tea and biscotti were brought out, at which time Tetsuya cleared his throat.

"How was your appointment, Takumi?"

That depends on you now, Dad. "It was fine."

"I spoke to Nobuta-sensei earlier."

Takumi's hand instinctively met Gii's under the table. The man studied them both before going on.

"In short, he seems to think Saki-kun is good for you, and a sign of your progress. I can't say I don't have doubts, but if you're truly happy, son, I won't stand in the way of your relationship, and I won't make you leave Shidou."

Gii laughed with relief, and Takumi began to breathe again.

"Thank you, Dad."

"Saki-kun, I'm trusting you with my son."

"I promise, my life will always be about keeping him safe and happy. Thank you so much, Hayama-san."

"Just be careful with him, and as good to him as you have been so far, and you can consider us a part of your family."

Youko smiled and squeezed her husband's hand. Gii noticed a tear tracing a damp path down Takumi's cheek, and brushed it away with a fingertip.

"Told you I can charm anyone. Should we tell them the good news about where we're applying?"

"I don't know..."

"Are you talking about Todai?" Tetsu asked interestedly. "You've decided you want to go there, Takumi?"

"Maybe...but, Dad, I'm sorry, I don't want to study law. I'm thinking about going for music, to play the violin professionally."

"Takumi, you're very talented, but a successful career in music is a very difficult thing to attain."

"He doesn't need to be successful."

"Not that again, Gii," Takumi said with a groan. " I am not going to be your trophy wife."

"I still get to show you off, though, right?"

While her husband hid a grudging smile with his teacup, Youko spoke up. "I think it's a wonderful idea. I never regretted giving up piano to raise a family, but I always wondered how far I could have gone with it. I don't want you haunted by thoughts of what could have been, Takumi. You have the skill, and I think you should go for it."

"Thank you, Mother."

Tetsuya sighed. "I can't very well fight all three of you. All right, Takumi, music it is, but consider minoring in something practical, in case it doesn't work out."

The boy favored his father with a happy smile, and Tetsuya absorbed it like balm to his heart. Too soon, it faded beneath apprehension.

"Dad, I know your intention has always been to follow me to Tokyo, but it's not necessary anymore. I won't be alone there."

"I'll think it over."

The two young lovers met each other's eyes with love and relief. It wasn't a yes, but as far as they were concerned, the whole visit had been a victory.

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi had again been spared his hated chamomile tea, and as he lay awake into that night, the boy wondered if his father had been right about the gross stuff. He debated sneaking into the guest room, but his parents had been so understanding and accepting - it seemed wrong to break their rule. He didn't want to wake Gii anyway, or risk him wanting sex when he himself wasn't in the mood.

_Just because I can say no to Gii doesn't mean I like to._

Taumi smiled into the star-dim darkness, thinking of Gii's gorgeous smile, the sound of his undignified laughter. But this led to concerns about their trip. Would the rest of the Saki family be as kind to him as Takeo and Kayako? Was Gii's grandmother really be okay with the family heir being in a gay relationship?

_What if I do something wrong? What if I embarrass Gii? What if he decides he doesn't want...I'm being stupid. If I ever had to doubt Gii loves me, I would have to re-examine everything I ever thought I knew._

For some reason Toshihisa came into his thoughts, Toshihisa who was always so calm and reassuring. He would no doubt say of course they'll like you, you're likable, everyone likes you, at least everyone who knows you. Toshihisa had been a miracle himself, Takumi's first best friend since childhood, the first friendly hand extended at Shidou, the first person of Takumi's age to treat his phobia as an unfortunate but tolerable quirk, rather than as a grave illness or a sign of hatred for people. Though not as good at it as Gii or Akaike, Toshihisa had always been ready to defend Takumi when he was bullied or taunted. He was the first person Takumi had felt close to since he was raped, and that meant a lot.

 _I should do something nice for him._ Takumi laughed softly to himself. _I guess he'll be my best man at my wedding. I'm not wearing a woman's kimono or dress, though, Gii, I hope you know that._

Lost in thought but not really thinking, Takumi slid out of bed and donned his robe and slippers. He let his feet go without directing them, down toward the stairs, noting with a sigh of relief that Naoto's door was firmly shut. There was something comfortable about these familiar walls at night, the cool air still and undisturbed by voices, the safety of a lived-in house without any movement that aggravated the haphephobia.

Takumi first went to the kitchen to gulp down a glass of water, then passed framed photos of himself on a wall. Mostly pre-age nine, riding a donkey at a circus, zooming around on his first bike, donning a yellow cap for the first day of school. From all the evidence collected here, he might as well have been an only child.

Takumi felt a brief, strange urge to see a picture of his brother, but he didn't like going in Naoto's room. The rape hadn't happened in there, but a lot of the touching had. It was far too easy to imagine a picture coming to life, or a hundred hands reaching for him from under the bed. Naoto had been many-armed in some of his nightmares, able to touch every inch of his body at once. Don't think about that, Takumi old himself, though Nobuta-sensei had suggested the boy not try to bury surfacing memories but examine them.  
The reason Takumi disliked this house was the recollections it held, the ability years later to look at every sofa, table and chair and remember what was done to him there, sometimes with his brother's friends only rooms away. The dining room table, the first-floor bathtub...

 _Stop it!_ Takumi's feet moved again, and before he knew it, he was inside his father's office. It was a full room of polished wood and books. Locked cabinets of case files lined the walls, and paperwork in neat piles covered the maple desk. Takumi had not been in here for a year, though he used to be allowed to play on the floor if he was quiet. And when no one was there to scold him, he used to...

Takumi sat down in the swiveling, cushioned desk chair and slowly spun it around, working speed up gradually. A giggle escaped him as the room blurred, and with it came an old remembered dizziness. It was almost as fun as he remembered.

"You used to do that, when you thought we weren't looking."

Startled, Takumi leapt up, and a robed Tetsuya put up his hands in surrender.

"Easy, son, I didn't mean to scare you. In fact, you scared me. I went to check on you and you were just gone."

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep. Did you...think I'd gone to the guest room?"

"No, but I checked anyway. Gii-kun says your name in his sleep, did you know that?"

"Yes. Dad, you don't dislike him too much, do you?"

"I don't dislike him at all. I just don't like trusting you to anyone, to the world." Tetsuya moved a pile of papers and sat down on the edge of the desk. "Look what it's done to you while I wasn't watching."

"I don't blame you for Niisan."

"Our neglect was what left you needing attention, any attention. I really am sorry, Takumi."

Takumi closed his eyes for a moment, moved. As a lonely child, he had childishly imagined so many scenarios of his parents changing, apologizing, stopping Naoto. As he'd grown, he came to think it would never happen, and closed off his heart to make the pain cease. It was a strategy that had worked, being numb, but he hadn't started living again until Gii melted the ice around him.

"Thank you, Dad."

"Is Gii-kun really as good to you as he seems to be?"

"Better. You wouldn't believe how gentle and careful he is with me."

Tetsuya smiled weakly. "Can I ask what your plans are?"

"Well...Gii wants to get married, somewhere where it's legal."

"Not too soon, right? If I'm going to give you away, I'll need time to prepare."

"Not too soon," Takumi assured him. "Definitely not before we graduate. And you'll always be part of my life, Dad, you and mother."

"And we get granchildren, she tells me."

"Nine, if Gii gets his way."

"We'll be glad to baby-sit," Tetsuya chuckled, before his expression went solemn. "Son, I won't lie. Part of me is screaming in protest at this. I accept it, I'm thrilled that you're happy. But are you sure you'll be able to be...physical with someone, a male, and handle marrying into a family like Gii-kun's on top of that?"

Takumi briefly considered confessing that he and Gii were already intimate, but decided not to push his luck. "Gii's love is what fixed me, or at least has gotten the process started. I feel safe, safest, when he holds me, because I know he'd never do anything I don't want him to. I want to be close to him in a way I never thought possible. As for his family, I'm nervous about them, but with Gii, I'll be fine. His parents have been so kind. They said they'd like to meet you and Mother."

"Give them our phone numbers, we'll set something up. Maybe some golf." Tetsuya laughed at Takumi's groan. "I know you hate it, but for us old-timers, it's a real work-out, and relaxing at the same time. Speaking of which, I'm going to make you your tea, and then you're going to get some sleep. You don't want to miss your train tomorrow."

Takumi followed him to the kitchen. "Thank you for letting me go to Gii's home. I know you wanted me here."

"Yes...but more than that, I want you happy. Your mother too. Speaking of which, you should know that she's started to pack up your brother's things, some for storage and some for charity."

"She has, really?"

"So if there's anything in there you want, grab it soon."

Takumi smiled. "I have everything I want."

_To be continued._

_Latte, that's why Naoto's door was ajar, Youko had been in there. :)_


	11. Chapter 11

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 11 - Happily Ever

Takumi gave his mother as long a hug as his dad when the adults left the boys at the train station, which seemed to please everyone, includng himself. He hadn't yet forgiven his mother, but had at least started on the road to doing so. Gii hugged Youko as well and promised to visit again, and shared a warm handshake with Tetsuya.

"I'm trusting you, Gii-kun."

"I'll always protect him. You can count on me."

Gii's main home is on the outskirts of a town called Nagaka, he's told Takumi, about an hour's ride away. As they settled into a cushioned seat and the conductor's announcements ended, Gii also tells him that the butler, an American named Edward, has been texting him constantly for approval on the arrangements he's making. Which drapes to have open, which fountains should be on, what kind of flowers.

"Gii, I don't want anyone to go to any trouble."

"Trust me, he lives for this stuff. He actually wanted to drain the main fountain and fill it with Bordeaux. I had to remind him we're underage."

"I'm nervous," Takumi confessed, resting his head on the closest shoulder. "It's all so much."

"It's just things," Gii said softly, looping an arm around him. "Decorations that amuse people for a moment or so, then fade into the background. It's not important, like people are."

"I always wondered how you stayed so...normal, after growing up so rich."

"Stuff never mattered to me that much, especially after I met you. Some people spend a lifetime acquiring it, but to what end? You don't take it with you when you die. Just the love you've had and felt."

"You're very eloquent when I'm terrified," Takumi murmured.

"Baby, trust me, you'll get used to the gold and gilt and marble and original Van Goghs after a while, it's just the way things are. I told Mom not to put a Monet in your room, though, because it'd make you nervous."

"Thank you."

"And if you find you can't get used to it, we don't have to live in the main house, we have less intimidating places. I'd live in a dingy studio and be happy, as long as we're together."

"How did I get you?" Takumi asked, lifting Gii's hand to kiss it. "What good did I do in a previous life?"

"You just honored the world with your glorious self, as you do now." Gii giggled, high-pitched as always. "You know what a psychic told me once?"

"What?"

"That in a past life, I was a fierce warlord who spent decades terrorizing my enemies and people. My wives left me in fear for their lives, and I had devoted and frightened servants but not a single friend. Then one day I visited a new theater, and a young man playing a woman entered the stage, gathering flowers and weeping for her lost lover. I fell in love with him immediately, and returned every night for a year just to watch him. Finally I went backstage and talked to him, and over a short time, my new, shy friend fell for me too. He came to live with me in my castle, and so softened my heart and character that I was able to father children, and became a wise and kind ruler to a people who grew to love me. We lived a long time together, and died together during a siege, in each other's arms."

Takumi felt soothed by the tale, as one would by a lullaby. "Do you believe it?"

"It rang true in my heart."

"And you think that was me, the actor?"

"Well, she said he was very beautiful, and my soul mate, so yes."

An old insecurity flew to Takumi's lips before he could stop it. "Gii, do you think of me as a girl?"

Gii immediately burst out laughing. He guffawed hysterically, puzzling Takumi and causing an employee to poke his head into the otherwise-empty car. After several moments he was gasping for breath, bent over with his boyfriend rubbing his back and pouting slightly. Finally, Gii sat back and wiped tears of mirth from his face.

"Sorry, baby. I wasn't laughing at _you_. I don't know why it was so funny."

"So, is that a no?"

"Takumi." Gii was all seriousness now. "You think I consider you a girl?"

"Well...sometimes. You're just so gentle and careful, like you're afraid I'll break."

"Baby." Gii put his arm around him again. "Of course I don't think of you as a girl. If you were a girl, I'd still love you, but I prefer you like this. I can't think of anything I'd change about you. I love you, and all the parts you have. I guess I am gay. I have the flamboyant grandmother and everything."

Takumi hugged him around the waist. "I love you, too. I'm sorry."

"No, I get why you wondered. I'm not always as careful as I should be, though. Remember how I cured you?"

"I remember I forgave you right away."

Gii kissed the head that rested over his heart. "In general, I try to be careful with you because you've already been hurt so much. I don't want to ever add to that. I don't think you're weak or a girl or anything. I just want to protect you from everything, even myself."

"I know you'd never hurt me."

"If I ever do again, our friends will kick my ass, and I'll let them."

"I'll protect you, then," Takumi laughed, feeling lighter. "So, you don't want to see me dressed like a girl, like the onnagata?"

"I think you look hot in everything, but it's not one of my fetishes."

"You have fetishes?"

"Most people do, don't they?" Gii chuckled. "I needed a lot of scenarios to imagine before us, back when it was just me and my hand."

"Tell me about them."

"You really want to get me all hot in a place where I'm not allowed to grope you?"

"Sorry, never mind."

"It's okay," Gii relented. "I'll just try to think unsexy thoughts. Like Shouzou naked, covered in maple syrup."

"Gii, ew."

"Do you want to hear my fantasies or not?"

"Please."

"Let's see. I have one where I'm a teacher, and you're a naughty student I have to discipline for failing a test. In one I'm a police officer, and you bribe me with your body to avoid a speeding ticket. Then there's one where we work in an office, and you're trying to get a promotion."

"I didn't expect so many."

"What can I say, I'm imaginative. I don't really need them anymore. Your smile does it for me, and the memory of touching you. Oh, God. We need to change the subject."

"Tell me more about America," Takumi said quickly.

Relieved, Gii related some more of the ways his home country was unlike Japan, the shorter school hours, the unclean public bathrooms, the revealing tops girls wore. He didn't mention the amount of crime, so as not to discourage Takumi from traveling there with him. Gii spoke of his first Broadway show at age five, living in New York surrounded by actors and artists, casually mentioning celebrity names that shocked Takumi. He spoke of the country's size, how you could drive for days and not reach the other end of it.   
He said that the people were mostly kind, a mix of the best of what every nation had to offer. He fondly recalled making the day of taxi drivers by tipping them with $50 bills. Takumi, who had grown up with money but not to that extent, wondered if he'd ever get used to that.

"You will. It's fun. The best part about being wealthy is getting to share it."

Gii then talked about the hospitals his family had built and continued to fund, that there was one in Boston with a children's wing named after him. The Sakis were well-known philanthropists who gave regularly to AIDS research (an artist friend of theirs had died of it), museums, public works, shelters, animal rescue funds, ecological conservation, and a host of other causes. He laughingly informed his boyfriend that there would be a lot of boring functions to attend, but that he would try to make them fun.

"Gii, I always have fun with you. Did you learn Japanese as soon as you did English? You're so flawless in both."

"Yeah, my parents were very insistent about that. What they'd do is one day my dad and I would speak Japanese and my mom and I English, then the next day they'd switch, and so on. My tutor taught me the kana as I learned the Roman alphabet, and then started me on kanji when I was six or so. I had a lot of trouble with that. English is so much simpler, twenty-six letters to learn and you've got it down."

"Spelling is hard, though."

"Yeah, it is pretty illogical."

They talked about various things until the train halted, and Gii stubbornly held Takumi's hand as they walked through the station, stopped to get drinks, and easily found a man Gii introduced as Chiga, his driver. As instructed, Kayako had not sent a limo, but the black car they were led to seemed fancy. Takumi's apprehension kept him mostly quiet through the ride, and the house they pulled up to left him dumbstruck.

It was the size and style of a European palace, gray with white pillars and wide steps, set on a vast expanse of fields and hills. An enormous fountain was in front of the building, marble mermaids, kappa and Greek-style heroes spouting pure streams of tinkling water. Chiga insisted on taking their bags and said something about gardens and tennis courts, but Takumi was having trouble concentrating.

"Welcome to Saki Hall, young master."

"Baby, are you okay?"

 _I can't do this._ "Yeah, fine."

The interior too was like something out of a palace, elaborately-painted vaulted ceilings, polished marble floors, priceless art on the walls. Gii saw Takumi shaking slightly and said he's postpone the tour and show him his room first. He took Takumi's duffel bag and led him upstairs, down a few long hallways and into a lush bedroom with antique-looking furniture and a huge four-poster bed. All green and white and dark wood, with a wall freshly pained and waiting for its mural. Gii watched worriedly as Takumi took out his pills and swallowed one.

"Baby?"

"I'm really okay. Just...it's a lot."

"It's just things, remember. I'll be with you every second you let me. How about we rest a little first?"

"No," Takumi said bravely. "I want to meet your grandmother."

"That's what you're worried about, huh? Okay, c'mon."

They were met at the bottom of the stairs by a handsome man in a tuxedo, in his forties and very obviously gay. Edward bowed and introduced himself in awkward Japanese.

"Pleased to meet you," Takumi said hesitantly, in English.

"Ooh, Saki-kun got himself a smart one. Cute too."

"Look at him too long and I'll have to spank you," Gii laughed.

"Save it for your boyfriend," Edward sniffed and zoomed off, calling back that the cook was preparing roast beef and that 'Madame' was in the gazebo.

Wanting to give Takumi some time, Gii suggested they do the tour first, promising he wouldn't let him get lost. Takumi was told there were seventeen bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. He was led through parlors and recreation rooms, living rooms and a formal and informal dining room. He was shown Gii's bedroom next to his own, the same style but all in scarlet, with framed pictures of Takumi all over it. They stopped in the large kitchen where the portly and maternal cook Haruko cooed over Takumi and offered them butterscotch cookies. Every servant and company employee they stopped to greet was warm and friendly, and Takumi felt himself relaxing.

Outside, the aforementioned tennis court was shown to him, as well as a wooded trail lined with primrose, ponds teeming with koi and lily pads, hot tubs, a gigantic swimming pool, and finally the gardens. The paths through them were seemingly endless, with every kind of flower Takumi could imagine, and ornate benches and fountains throughout. It was beautiful, the way he imagined heaven must be. 

The sakura were still blooming, raining down petals, and the effect was dreamlike. Takumi didn't remember his nervousness until they reached a large white gazebo with roses entwined around it.

"I'm with you, baby, it's okay."

A woman alone looked up from her tea as they entered, and smiled. She was still a beauty, looking no more than fifty-five in her blue pantsuit and high heels. She was strong and healthy, with blue eyes and curly brown hair that was growing in gray. She was looking at Takumi very gently as she waved them closer.

"Giichi, you've finally brought me my grandson-in-law," she said in Japanese, then switched briefly to French. "Mon dieu, quel bel enfant."

Takumi looked at Gii, who chuckled. "All I'm telling you is that it's a compliment."

Takumi bowed low. "I'm honored to meet you, Madame."

"Call me Grand-mere, cher. Come sit with me, boys. Love suits you, Giichi, you look resplendent."

"And you're lovely as ever, Grand-mere. What have you been up to?"

"I toyed with the idea of tackling Everest, but my doctor would have a fit, so it was Kenya instead. I had to scare off a few lions from a bumbling tour guide, nothing very new. But I want to hear about you and this enchanting creature with you."

She poured Chinese tea for them as Gii mentioned a few things that had gone on in school lately. She seemed to be in on the joke about Akaike and his trouble with English verbs, calling him 'le pauvre petit' and laughing that she initially felt the same frustration with the Japanese language.

"But it's worth learning, if only for the handsome men," she said with a wink.

"Gii told me that you taught him the French he knows."

"Oh, yes, though I don't imagine he retained much of it," she laughed. "I'm never around long enough to keep him practicing, though I suppose at my age I should be slowing down."

"Oh, Grand-mere, you'll still be climbing mountains when you're ninety," Gii said, always a gentleman. "I hope Takumi and I have lives as full as yours."

Madame patted his hand. "You're still as sweet as you always were, Giichi. As I've always said, I know no one who deserves happiness more." She looked at Takumi. "How do you like your future home, cher?"

"It's lovely, just a bit...overwhelming."

"I felt similarly when I first came to this country. So beautiful, but honestly, it was like landing on an alien planet! Everything was unfamiliar. When I met Gii's grandfather Nobu, we could barely communicate, except in loving gazes. He asked me to marry him under a blooming sakura tree, and by then I had fallen for both him and Japan. I can never stay away for long, even though he's been gone for years."

"I'm sorry, Grand-mere," Takumi said kindly.

"Oh, we had a good long time together. I don't know which of our lands have it right, whether I'll see Nobu in heaven or meet up with him in a future life, but either way, we'll be together again. But enough about me, I want to hear more about you two. Will you marry Giichi, as he hopes you will?"

Takumi laughed nervously. "Maybe if he really wants to...just not too soon."

"Of course, plenty of time for that. My daughter is already thinking about color schemes for the wedding, but I'll try to rein her in. You two will be thinking about college first."

Gii told her of their tentative plans to try for Tokyo University, and she was pleased, as both her husband and son-in-law were alumni. She guessed Takumi's intention to major in music, and asked if he would play for her sometime. As Takumi had at his boyfriend's insistence brought the Stradivarius, and because he seemed calm, Gii offered to have a servant bring it to them.

"Okay," Takumi accepted, with a swirl of butterflies in his stomach. "But please, Grand-mere, remember that Gii exaggerates. I'm not very good."

"He's brilliant, better than Sachi."

"Gii!"

Madame laughed. "I haven't seen Sachi-kun in ages. Is he still dating that record company executive twenty years older than him?"

"Yeah, last I heard."

"Eh? Inoue-san is with..."

"Yeah, since he was only thirteen. Don't tell anyone, though, it's kind of a secret."

"And is Shouzou-kun still with that strange girl who melted down my Qianlong dynasty vase with her chemistry set?"

"Yep, and Miku still brings destruction wherever she goes. Ah, here it is."

A uniformed maid came into the gazebo, gave Takumi his violin case, and bowed before hurrying off. Gii called thanks to her, and Takumi nervously took out his instrument and stood up. He felt himself begin to play a piece whose name he'd long since forgotten, but the tune had stayed with him because it began sad, then got lighter and lighter until it was a musical heart bursting with joy. He watched Gii's adoring gaze for reassurance as he played, and only looked to Madame once he had finished. She was quietly weeping.

"Giichi, you marry this boy the instant he lets you. I insist that Japan's next star be a part of my family."

_tgtgtgtgtg_

"Nothing to be nervous about, baby. Just climb on and relax."

"It's just...so big."

"Trust me, it's just the right size for you. Give it a try, and if you get too scared, we'll do something else."

The large brown horse next to Takumi nudged his arm with his nose, which seemed to be a friendly gesture. He hadn't ridden since childhood, but loved animals and wanted very much to have a romantic ride with Gii, who was already atop a white stallion.

"You look like a prince out of a faerie tale."

"Only it's not a princess I'm pledged to. It's okay, baby, Tatsumi will catch you if you fall."

The groom holding the reins nodded with a reassuring smile. Takumi bravely swung himself up onto the steed, feeling wobbly at first but then regaining balance.

"See, nothing to it. Merlin and Shadowfax are trained not to let us slip off, and they know the trails. Just kick lightly if you want to go faster, pull if you need to stop."

They entered the woods, where the spring air was heavy with the scent of green leaves and wildflowers. The trail was wide enough for them to go side by side, for which Takumi was grateful. As promised, Merlin didn't jostle him much and seemed to know where he was going with no prompting. It was a gorgeous day, and Takumi, who had been steadily calming since they arrived, wondered if he'd ever felt this relieved and content.

"So, what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Everything. Here."

"It's wonderful. I think I already love Grand-mere."

"Yeah, she's great. You should know, she doesn't cry very easily. Your playing really moved her."

"I'm really not - "

"You are that good," Gii said firmly, ducking a branch. "Trust me, if you weren't, I'd gently suggest you try something else rather than watch you fail and be heartbroken. Didn't your teacher tell you you're good?"

Takumi squirmed, a little embarrassed. "One of the best he ever had, he said."

"See? Was he the type to exaggerate?"

"...no."

"You should see yourself the way I do."

Takumi laughed. "If I did, wouldn't that make me narcissistic?"

"True. But I'd still love you."

A monarch butterfly landed briefly on Merlin's bridle. Gii smiled to see Takumi so happily transfixed by it. He found it cute that Takumi liked animals so much, didn't even mind bugs. He wouldn't even let Gii kill spiders.

Takumi waved as the butterfly flew off. He was in awe, too, of this seemingly-enchanted forest, with clusters of honeysuckle winding around trunks, trees heavy with early May blossoms, shafts of sunlight shining down and giving the place a magical feel. It seemed insane that he would one day live here, be able to take this ride whenever he wanted. Somehow, he still felt not quite worthy of the love being showered on him.

"Baby? Why are you crying?"

"Am I?" Takumi wiped away the tear he hadn't noticed. "Don't worry, I'm just happy. I was thinking about living here, being part of your family, spending every day with you."

Gii smiled. "This is the only kind of crying I plan to make you do. I'm so glad you seem comfortable here."

"I never dreamed your family would be so accepting of me."

"Homosexuality never bothered them, especially Mom, largely thanks to Grand-mere. They want me to have an heir, but never said I had to marry a girl. And I've been in love with you so long, they had a lot of time to get used to you as my partner. I became better after I met you, once I had something to live for. My grades went and stayed up, I started to learn the business, I became enthusiastic about my life. Trust me, they've been rooting for us for years."

"Gii, did you really fall for me that quickly?"

"I must have loved you before, many times. It's the only explanation I can think of."

"And you aren't sick of me?"

Gii laughed. "You're funny, baby. Who gets sick of being deliriously, ecstatically happy?"

"Gii..."

They were reaching a fork in the trail, and in the spot where the path diverged, the separation was marked by an ornamental pond with frogs jumping all over its flowering lily pads, and bright koi swimming like little comets in the depths. Obviously man-made but looking natural was a small waterfall tinkling over a tall rock formation and into the pool. Gii dismounted gracefully and carefully lifted Takumi down, then led him by the hand to the water.

"When I was little, my grandfather used to tell me a story. Long ago, a fisherman caught a koi who suddenly spoke to him, offering three wishes if he would only spare its life. Naturally, the three wishes were badly used and led to sadness, but being a romantic, I didn't really focus on that. I used to come here and talk to the fish, hoping one would offer me a deal like that." He kissed Takumi's hand, prince-like. "All I ever wished for was you."

"Gii..." Takumi's knees felt weak. He hugged his boyfriend, partly to stay on his feet. "I love you so much."

Gii's strong hands stroked his hair and back, driving away the slight soreness caused by sitting in a saddle. Their lips met in this storybook place, the sound of kissing drowned by bird songs and the faint wind that trembled the leaves, and the melodic noise of the water over rocks. As always, Gii's mouth eventually went to his neck, sucking gently in a way that made Takumi sway. With such solid arms around him, he wasn't afraid of falling.

"Baby." Gii's hands cupped his face, thumbs swept over his cheeks. "When the right time to ask you comes, when I formally ask you to be engaged to me, will you say yes? Will you legalize our being together with me, no matter where we have to do it?"

Takumi didn't answer right away, not to delay for time or tease, just because he was mesmerized by Gii's eyes. Warm, dark brown with a faint hint of storm-blue, no doubt from his mother's family. A little anxious, perhaps, but overflowing with adoration. Staring gently into Takumi's soul, knowing his secrets and yet loving every particle of him.

"Gii...of course I want to marry you. No matter where it's done, even if it's never recognized here. I want the world to know you're mine and I'm yours."

He had expected to be kissed, but instead Gii closed his eyes and brought Takumi's head closer, until their foreheads were pressed together. The elder boy breathed heavily with happy emotion, kissed the palm that cupped his cheek, and finally kissed Takumi again. Mouths open, they breathed through each other as the sun began to shine its last rays of the day upon them.

_To be continued._

_"Mon dieu, quel bel enfant" means "My God, what a beautiful child." "Le pauvre petit" means "the poor little thing."_

_That thing about Sachi and the older man is, according to the translation I read, canon. :)_

_Feel free to envision a nude Akaike covered in maple syrup, but be advised that I'm not paying for anyone's therapy. :)_


	12. Chapter 12

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 12 - Halcyon Days

After the boys returned the horses to the stable master and entered the main house, a busy and cheerful Edward informed them that dinner would be in just under an hour. Gii seemed reluctant to release his love's hand, but Takumi laughed that he didn't want to smell like a horse any longer. Reluctantly, Gii left Takumi to his private bathroom and headed to his own.

The room was as fancy as all the others, with a floor of what Gii called carrara marble, gold fixtures and touches all over in an otherwise white color scheme, and a bathtub complete with jets and a cushioned head-rest. Gii must have had a hand in stocking it, because the herbal-scented shampoo and body wash he used were here, and in the linen cupboard a cheerful note from Kayako that said, 'Hope you like it, dear!'

 _You have no idea, Kayako-san._ It seemed that like Gii, the Sakis were always going out of their way to please him.

Takumi stripped off his slightly dirty jeans and shirt and sighed with pleasure once under the strong, hot spray of the shower. Once clean and rinsed, he toweled off and donned the plush green robe he'd found hanging on the door. He stepped back into his room and was surprised to find Gii, red-robed, sitting on the bed and looking at him hungrily.

"Sorry, baby, but the thought of you naked in there without me was driving me crazy. I couldn't stay away."

"Gii, I never want you to stay away."

The elder teenager opened his arms and Takumi stepped into them, and Gii buried his face in the green fabric, groaning softly.

"God, I want you so much."

"I want you too," and it was true, he was stiffening.

Gii maneuvered them into switching positions, Takumi sitting on the edge of the mattress and Gii standing over him. He gently guided Takumi to lay down, touched the robe's sash, and when he got a nod, untied it. He parted the garment to reveal a slender expanse of fair skin, and evidence of growing arousal to match Takumi's slight blush. Gii's hands traveled all over as though it would never be enough. Kneading the taut thighs, Gii bent to latch onto a nipple, this time letting his teeth be felt just a little. Judging by the writhing, Takumi had no objections.

"Gii, yes."

He had brought a bottle of expensive lotion with him. He squeezed some into his hands and began to work it into Takumi's bare skin, eliciting a pleasure no masseuse could ever equal. The soft skin needed no such product, but it felt so good to absorb the faintly scented stuff. As Takumi's erection bobbed and leaked with his arching, Gii left no inch of him unattended, finally circling his entrance with a slicked finger.

"Do you want to, baby?"

"Yes yes, take me."

The breathy words nearly sapped Gii's strained control. He slipped the digit in, and watched with aroused fascination. Arms still in the robe but it open to expose him completely, Takumi somehow looked more erotic like this than he did completely nude. Maybe it had to do with how vulnerable and debauched he seemed, pushing down on two invading fingers now. He was so relaxed, taking them easily, but Gii worked up to four before lifting his legs and sinking into Takumi.

"Gii," the boy groaned, and pushed the scarlet robe completely off.

With faint smacking sounds, Gii pulled nearly out and plunged back into Takumi, as slowly as he could stand. The boy squeezed his shoulders, slid fingers into his fair hair, pulled Gii down for a heated kiss.

"More, more, harder, deeper," he panted into the devouring mouth. He needed more plundering, more pressure against the throbbing gland inside him.

"Do you...oh Gods...trust me, baby?"

"Yes, yes."

Movement, the feeling of toppling over. Takumi blinked to find Gii laying back on the bed now, and himself straddling his very pleased and sexy lover. Takumi was going to ask what was going on, but then thought he knew. In this position, Gii was pushing deeper inside him, buried to the hilt and rubbing against a million or so nerve endings. Just by sitting on top of him, Takumi was so stimulated that he had to make a conscious effort not to scream. And the way Gii was smiling and stroking his sides implied there was even more to come.

"Gii?"

"Are you scared?"

"No, but what are we doing?"

"A different kind of riding," Gii laughed and gasped at the same time. "Move your hips back and forth. I can take you more deeply this way."

Takumi tried an experimental thrust, and had to press his lips tightly together. It felt like Gii was penetrating him even more than was physically possible; he felt the pressure all the way up to his pounding heart. He could hardly concentrate enough to keep going, but Gii took hold of his hips and gently guided the movement. Takumi's head fell back, eyes rolled. It was like dying and going to heaven every second.

"Gii Gii..."

"Baby, you feel so..."

Gii choked on his words, refusing to shut his tear-burning eyes because he wanted to see and remember each moment of this glorious sight, the earthly embodiment of purity and perfection impaled on him and thrusting. There was a faint and alluring flush to Takumi's pale skin, and his hard cock was bobbing and leaking onto Gii's stomach. Gii wanted desperately to suck it hard, to push Takumi over the edge and make him see stars, but all he could do at this angle was take it in hand and start to stroke. Crying out helplessly, Takumi responded by riding him harder, and they lost their impressive control at the same time.

Gii chuckled happily when Takumi fell bonelessly onto him, and tiredly touched him all over to feel the warm flush and loose muscles. Takumi nuzzled the neck his face had fallen into, drinking in Gii's almost spicy smell. Were he not so spent, it would have aroused him all over again already. They passed a short while in silence.

"That was amazing."

"I concur," Gii sighed, carefully turning them to lay on their sides atop the open green robe. "Check it out, we didn't even get any on the bed."

"We still made a mess, though. Maybe we should be using condoms."

"What if I'm trying to get you pregnant?"

Takumi laughed into Gii's neck, and the vibration of it sent pleasurable shivers all through Gii's body. He wanted Takumi again, but had resolved to always give him time to heal. Especially since they'd gone at it so hard this time.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, but now I have to shower again, I'm all sticky inside. What are you doing?"

Gii was chuckling evilly, that wasn't a good sign. He maneuvered down to the foot of the bed, flipped Takumi onto his back and pushed his knees up until his bottom was exposed to the air. Gii leaned in and, without any warning, pushed his tongue inside and began to lap up the seed he'd left behind.

"Gii! What are you doing?"

"Cleaning," he said, and pushed his tongue in as far as he could.

Takumi's objections were lost in a groan. Here was pressure without the stretching pain, all slickness and no discomfort. The wet organ was just able to lick the prostate, and did, laving it mercilessly until Takumi began to stiffen again.

"Oh, God, Gii."

Fingers slipped inside the tongue's place, better able to give the gland the attention it wanted. Gii gently slid his digits around the slightly sore hole, soothing the slippery sides of it and bringing Takumi back to hardness. When he could delay no more, Gii took him into his mouth and sucked with almost the required force, but not quite. Takumi was too amazing a sight like this to rush it.

The boy was twitching, almost spasming with pleasure, rolling his hips to press the invading fingers deeper. The silken feel of Gii's mouth around him was almost unbearable, a heat that made him burn as though with fever. Gii would suck, bringing him almost to the brink, then stop and began to lick and to circle the slit with his tongue.

"Gii, please!"

Of course, Gii could never deny him anything. He sucked hard, a wave of falling and soaring all at once crashed over Takumi, and in the blink of an eye Gii was swallowing, licking his lips, helping Takumi when the boy tried to sit up.

"That was almost too good. I'm not sure I can stand up."

"Then don't."

"I need to shower again before dinner, and I can't believe you put your tongue...there."

"I've been wanting to try that."

"You're so weird."

"Felt good, though, didn't it?"

Takumi's cheeks went pink, and he ducked away from Gii's mouth when it neared his own. "I'm not kissing you after you did that! Brush your teeth first."

"I want to keep the taste of you a little longer."

Takumi grumbled, but pressed his lips to Gii's cheek before heading back to the bathroom.

_tgtgtgtg_

After the high of their intimate encounter, Takumi's nervousness returned. Gii had said his family never dressed formally for dinner except for parties, so he put on jeans and the soft green sweater Gii had given him. The meal was being served in the outdoor dining room, and the evening was cool. Gii met him outside their rooms in jeans and a loose ivory shirt, and they held hands as they walked downstairs and through the house.

On the way, Gii pointed out some of the art on the walls and named their creators. Takumi recognized enough of them to be thoroughly impressed, and asked Gii if they were at all worried about theft.

"We have security guys, unseen, all over, and about a million cameras. Also, the paintings are all wired to alarms that go off if they're taken from the walls."

"Oh my God, Gii, is that 'Starry Night' by Van Gogh?"

"Yeah, we just got it. Cool, isn't it?" Chuckling, Gii almost had to drag his awestruck boyfriend away. "Want it put in your room?"

"Are you kidding? I'd die if something happened to it, I love that painting."

"Which is why I insisted we get it."

Takumi squeezed Gii's hand almost painfully as they reached the patio door. Takeo and Kayako looked up from the table to smile at them, and Takumi's grip relaxed a little. Gii insisted on leading him to his seat and pulling it out for him before plopping in the chair beside it. Two woman in uniforms began to fill their plates with roast beef and potatoes, but Gii, the bottomless pit, was apparently unwilling to wait. Takumi snickered to watch him grab a handful of rolls and begin to shove them into his mouth.

"Giichi, where are your manners?"

"Sorry, Mom," he said with his mouth full, "but c'mon, we're family here."

"That's no excuse to act like a barbarian. What will Takumi-kun think?"

"It's okay, Kayako-san. I eat with him every day, I'm used to it."

"You should have seen him as a baby. He got more food in his hair than in his mouth."

Takumi smiled. "Wha was Gii like when he was little?"

"Oh, such a solemn little thing, from the very beginning. He never cried, but rarely smiled, and he wasn't cuddly, except with his teddy bear."

"Mom!" Gii protested through a mouthful of green beans.

"He just wanted to be left alone with his blocks or puppet theater, or sit outside and watch the clouds."

"He still does that," Takumi said fondly.

"Hey, I haven't played with blocks in six months."

"I meant looking at the sky, baka. Wait, six months?"

Gii hmphed indignantly. "Um, I was sorting through some old toys, and decided to build a tower."

Takumi gazed at him lovingly. Gii formed a heart with his hands. Kayako took a sip of her wine and laughed.

"The two of you are just impossibly cute. Takumi-kun, I've made copies of some pictures of Giichi, if you'd like them."

"Thank you, I would love that."

"Mom!"

"Oh, calm down, dear. I didn't include any of you in the bathtub or anything. Oh, Takumi, you should have seen him when he was three, so adorable, he used to run around in nothing but a cowboy hat."

"MOM!"

Takeo decided to rescue his son, saying that he had contacted an administrator friend of his at Tokyo University to inquire about the music program. Apparently, it was still considered one of the best in the world, and the head of the department was eager to hear   
Takumi audition.

"Gii, I don't know about this," the boy murmured nervously.

"You'll blow them away, and if not, we'll go somewhere else. Father won't let me go to an American university, though."

"Too many distractions," Takeo said with a nod.

"And I'd have to keep all those frat boys away from my Takumi."

Takumi rolled his eyes at Gii, and asked Takeo about his own experience at Todai. Nostalgically, he talked of late-night ramen breaks with his study group, acing exams that most of his class barely passed, meeting his future wife on her first day there and helping her find the Humanities building. Only five months later, they were engaged.

"That's so romantic."

"Nothing like yours and Gii's story," Kayako sighed. "After that violin recital, all he would talk about was you, smiling like I'd never seen before. He must have made two hundred copies of that photo, stashing them in every safe and safety deposit box."

"Gii, did you really?"

"Well, it was all I had of you."

"Saki-san, Kayako-san...were you really...all right with the idea of me and Gii all this time?"

"Well, I was," she said lightly. "Takeo needed a little time."

The man sipped his brandy, and seemed to consider what to say as a maid placed platters of cookies around the table. He gave Takumi a reassuring smile.

"Understand, I have no problem with gay couples. I have a gay uncle, and he and his partner were like second fathers to me. I did worry, though, that Giichi would have to face intolerance and prejudice. The world was harsher than it is now, even only a handful of years ago. I thought if I could get him to one day marry a girl, his life would be easier. I never told him he couldn't be with you, because he'd get upset if someone so much as hinted he might not find you again, Takumi-kun. He treated the girls he knew like sisters, waiting for you, and I worried. But he's so happy now. How could I not approve of that?"

Takumi felt like crying with gratitude. Kayako noticed and quickly changed the subject.

"Oh, dear, I nearly forgot. I spoke to your mother on the phone, she wanted to know how you are. We've set up a lunch date next week, and your father and Takeo are going to play that wretched golf sometime soon."

"I don't disparage _your_ hobbies," Takeo laughed. "Giichi, defend your father."

"Sorry. Takumi doesn't like golf, so I don't either."

"Gii, you're allowed to like things I don't."

Gii cut a cookie into the shape of a heart, and placed it on Takumi's plate.

_tgtgtgtg_

"Feels strange to be back at school, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, good thing I like this place, or else our breaks would seem too short. Baby, are you okay in here?"

Late-afternoon sunlight was flooding the old concert hall, as it had the day they were locked in here only the year before. Their after-class walk had led the couple here with neither thinking about it, and they were both sitting in spots very familiar to them. Takumi traced the outline of the marble heart with his finger.

"Yeah. I don't want this to be a place of bad memories. We had two such special days in here, especially the first."

Gii smiled tenderly. "I asked you not to run from me, and you didn't, even though it must have been agony for you to let me touch you."

"I wanted you to. I wanted you, I just couldn't admit it."

"You were so cute, the way you blinked all shocked, and then kissed me back."

"You asked me if I hated you," Takumi said softly. "I should have told you I was already falling for you."

"That soon?"

"It was years after you did. Gii, what would you have done if I didn't love you back?"

"What a sad thought." Gii ran a hand up and down Takumi's back, over the uniform jacket. "I guess I would have tried to be your friend, taken anything you could give me. But it would have been a lonely life."

Takumi edged closer, put his arms around Gii's torso and snuggled against his shoulder. Gii pressed his mouth and nose into sage and citrus-scented hair.

"I won't let you be lonely."

"As long as I have you, baby, I never will be."

Takumi tilted his head up to let Gii kiss him. As their touches often did, it started out nearly chaste, as pure as rain and snow and the boy Gii had fallen so hard for. Their need for each other quickly turned into passion, though, and in only moments Gii was groping Takumi's skin under his unbuttoned shirt. He wanted to be inside him, but didn't think Takumi would do that here, and abruptly enclosed him in a protective hold when the building's door opened.

"I hope I'm not...interrupting," Sakuma Miki said as he came in, the handsome first-year who aspired to be an actor.

Takumi blushed and closed his shirt. He tried to edge away, but the arms around him refused to budge.

"Sakuma-kun, do you need us?" Gii asked, in an unusually friendly manner, considering what he had been busy with before the interruption.

"Actually, yes, Gii-senpai." The boy bowed low. "I had a request to make, and I figure you'll probably say no, but I don't have anyone else I can ask."

"Take a seat, then, and try us."

Sakuma grabbed a chair from one of the craft desks, dragged it to a polite distance from his seniors, and sat down. He seemed nervous, which was odd for such a dramatic and confident young man.

"Go on, then," Gii prompted.

"Well, you've probably both heard that I'll be portraying Juliet in the upcoming play. I'm learning my lines without much difficulty, but there's one aspect of the role giving me trouble."

"If it's the wearing drag thing, I don't think I can help, I don't have the legs for it. Takumi does, but he wouldn't even try on a sundress for me."

"Gii!" Takumi scolded, and lightly shoved him.

"What? You do."

"It isn't that, Senpai," Sakuma said hesitantly. "It's the kisses. Sensei says the board of directors will probably make us cut them all out, but he wants us prepared, so starting tomorrow we have to rehearse them. And I've only kissed girls before. I don't know what to expect from a guy."

Gii made a "Hmm" noise. "Well, aside from a few girls who attacked me, I've only kissed Takumi. Which is way better, but I'm not sure I can describe how."

"Actually...I was hoping I could get the two of you to kiss, and let me watch, so I know what it should look like."

Gii looked at his boyfriend. "What do you think, baby? It's okay if you don't want to."

"Do you want to?" Takumi asked, staring with need at Gii's perfectly-shaped mouth.

"I want to kiss you every second, no matter who's watching."

Mind made up, even feeling oddly curious about what this would be like with an audience, Takumi closed his eyes and leaned in. One hand slid into his hair, the other curled around his waist, and lips were opening against his. He parted them, felt their insides traced by a warm tongue. Takumi got into it quickly, putting his arms around Gii and pressing against him.

It was surprisingly easy to forget they had an observer, who silently came closer, circled around them to view the pair from all angles. Gii pushed Takumi's shirt open again and stroked his chest, feeling the warm flesh against his fingers. He descended to kiss the neck and throat offered to him as Takumi's head tilted back.

"Baby," he whispered against the racing pulse, and Takumi shivered. He gently guided Takumi to lay down and climbed on top of him to continue the kiss. He swept the eager mouth, exploring it eagerly as though it was their first time.

"Gii," Takumi groaned, and Gii unhappily pushed down the impulse to strip his boyfriend bare and open him up with slick fingers in preparation. There was a wicked appeal to the idea of taking Takumi while someone watched, but the boy would be too embarrassed, and besides, he didn't want anyone but himself to see Takumi naked. It would be too much of a temptation, for anybody.

 _Especially stupid Misu,_ Gii thought vaguely, stimulating Takumi's nipples with his fingers as the boy moaned. He would go no further than this, he resolved, no matter how much he wanted to. He continued to plunder his lover's sweet mouth, their tongues dancing together, slippery and feverish with want. Gii nudged a thigh against Takumi's crotch and found him soft, apparently still aware they had an audience.

No such luck for Gii himself, though. He was hard as a rock, and Takumi seemed to know it. He pulled Gii so Gii's crotch pressed directly against his thigh, and moved his leg against the clothed erection. Still kissing Takumi, Gii rocked his aching need against the slender thigh. He didn't need long, and came into his briefs. He had been doing extra laundry since becoming intimate with Takumi, but it was well worth it.

Gii lifted himself up a little to smile gently, and Takumi finally opened up his eyes to reflect the expression. He then squirmed a little, remembering they weren't alone, and cutely hid his face against the elder's neck. Gii looked at Sakuma, who was wide-eyed and slack-jawed with a tent in his pants.

"Wow," he croaked. "Um, thank you, Gii-senpai, Hayama-senpai. If you'll excuse me, I need to - "

He broke off there and speed-walked to the door, which shut loudly behind him. Takumi groaned, but it turned into a nervous laugh.

"I can't believe we just did that."

"Feel up for more?"

Takumi smiled coyly, and pulled Gii close again.

_To be continued._

_Gii always surprises me, even mine. To think he'd let anyone see Takumi at all aroused...I just couldn't resist._

_Also, I don't think the human tongue can actually reach the prostate. Again, just couldn't resist._


	13. Chapter 13

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chater 13 - Fracture

The auditorium was dimly lit, torch-like fixtures along the walls burning at half-brightness. The seats were nearly full, students and parents and teachers making up the politely quiet audience, and all eyes were on the stage. The play had gone well so far, with the actors performing admirably and no one forgetting their lines. Now that Takumi knew the play from Gii, it was even easier to follow this Japanese translation.

He and Gii were sitting side by side, of course, hands clasped and Takumi's head resting on Gii's shouler. Now and then people glanced at them, as though looking for the resident power-couple's opinion on the story, but the lovers' eyes stayed fixed on the performance.   
They were both proud of Sakuma-kun, who had been performing with female mannerisms without going too far and becoming comical. He needn't have worried much, as all but one quick kiss had been excised, and he got through it well.

Currently, the boy wearing an elaborate red dress and black wig was laying on a faux-stone bier in the mausoleum set, convincingly playing dead as a distraught Romeo spoke to what he thought was a corpse.

"'Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath, Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty: Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, And death's pale flag is not advanced there.'"

Takumi squeezed Gii's hand with his own. Gii lifted it to his mouth to kiss each finger. The third-year lead actor, a friend of Akaike's, took out a small vial and held it up dramatically as he spoke.

"'Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavory guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark! Here's to my love!'"

He drained the bottle's contents, and swayed unsteadily on his feet. He staggered to Juliet, kissed her hand one last time, and collapsed. A few convulsions later, and he was still. Juliet awoke right on cue, to find her husband's cooling body and refuse to be parted from him neither in life or death.

"'Yeah, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger! This is shy sheath; there rust, and let me die.'"

Kneeling beside the other actor, Sakuma pretended to stab himself with a plastic blade. His request to have fake blood on him to choke up had been denied, but he made a good job of dying without it, coughing and spasming a little before gently falling half on top of Romeo. Takumi snuggled as close as he could to Gii, who held him tightly.

The boy was very quiet, even after the applause ended and the curtains closed. The couple went backstage to congratulate Sakuma on his performance and present him with a bouquet of sunflowers. The actor blushed and said he could not have done it without them. Noticing Takumi's silence, Gii led his boyfriend back to his own dorm room and eased him onto the couch.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Gii, if something happens to me - "

"No."

"Gii."

"Nothing is going to happen to you. Don't even think about that."

"Don't you think we should talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Gii - "

He pulled Takumi into a tight hug. "Nothing is going to happen to you, or me. We're going to grow old together, and die at the exact same time, surrounded by our kids and grandchildren. That's the only future I'll accept."

"Gii, I have to know what you want and vice versa, like if I end up in a coma or - Gii!"

The elder boy reluctantly uncovered his ears. "You're not going to."

"If I ever do, I'd rather not be kept alive, but if you don't want to let me go, I'll understand. But you have to live, and try to fall in love again."

Gii laughed in disbelief. "Are you kidding? I'd die if I lost you, literally die, and I'd prefer that to a life without you."

"Gii, without me, your life still means something."

"Not to me."

Takumi frowned, feeling a twinge of anger. "What about Akaike-kun, and your parents? Don't they mean anything to you?"

"Of course, but not - "

"Not enough? Gii, if you're planning to commit suicide or something if something happens to me, then..."

Gii stared at him in absolute misery. Takumi couldn't finish his sentence, couldn't even fathom breaking up with Gii. The idea of Gii depending on him this much was just so frightening. The thought of a world without Gii was unthinkable.

"Gii, what if something happened to you? What if I wanted to die, then?"

"No!" Gii almost yelled, slowly beginning to look near-hysterically agitated. "Nothing can happen to you!"

"Gii, it works both ways. Either we love each other equally or we don't, you can't ask me not to feel something when - "

Gii pulled him almost violently back into a tight hug. Takumi pressed his face into the warm neck, the spicy scent that made him feel safe and home. Gii's hands were urgently and yet unquickly moving over his body, looking for reassurance that Takumi was here and with him, and hopefully always would be. Takumi squeezed him back, whispered "I love you," felt suddenly cold when he felt tears drop onto his skin.

"Gii? Gii, don't, it's okay, I'm not going anywhere."

Gii quietly sobbed against him, and Takumi felt panicked. He had little experience in reassuring people, and he'd never seen Gii this upset. He wasn't sure what to do; all he could think of was to keep hugging him.

"Gii, please don't be sad. We'll have a long life together, I promise."

"We're close," Gii whispered unsteadily, "all close to death, all the time. Any moment with you could be the last. I wouldn't be able to stop it, just like in my dream. And I can't, I can't live without you. I can give you anything, except for that. I'm so sorry."

"Gii..."

"I'm so sorry."

Gii began to move them toward the bed. He got Takumi sitting down, and tried to remove the boy's shirt. Takumi squirmed free.

"No, Gii, not now, talk to me. Gii."

It was like no time had passed since the previous year. Takumi was suddenly stretched out on the bed, pinned and trying very hard not to let a terrible memory surface. His hands were free this time, but Gii's heavier weight and insistence would not be easy to dislodge. Takumi wasn't scared this time, just worried about Gii. He had never seen such a haunted look in anybody's eyes.

"Gii..."

"I won't let you leave me. Nobody's taking you away, not even God."

"Gii, I'm not going anywhere."

Gii's mouth was against his almost before he could finish his thought. He opened for the desperate sweep of a tongue, and it seemed to want every inch of his mouth all at once. Unable to meet its urgency with his own, Takumi could do nothing but relax his jaw and let Gii probe him, though he didn't much like the mingled saliva that was dripping out.

Finally, Gii moved to his neck, and Takumi was able to wipe his chin with his sleeve. Barely in time, too, because in a matter of moments his shirt was pulled over his head and tossed away. He felt his body and his need begin to heat up as a skilled pair of lips moved over his chest and stomach. Gii sucked at his nipples again, and Takumi still wasn't sure why that felt so good, but it did. The warmth in him seemed to pool between his legs, and as Gii palmed him through his jeans, Takumi wondered if it felt as hot to him.

Gii squeezed gently, and without realizing, Takumi arched up. Gii unzipped the pants, slowly so it made no noise, and hastily tossed them and the boxers onto the floor. His urgency seemed to calm at the sight of Takumi nude, and his hands moved over the smooth body at a more relaxed pace, taking in the glorious sight and feel. Thoughts of protest gone, Takumi moaned encouragement each time a hand neared his groin, but Gii made him wait, stared unblinking and with wet eyes at his beautiful, aroused boyfriend.

Finally, he took a sort of pity, or maybe convinced himself that Takumi hadn't meant his earlier refusal. He rolled the drawn-up testicles in his palm, felt them heavy with the white fluid he constantly craved. He worked Takumi's erection minimally, with two fingers at a time to provide only the barest stimulation. He gave the head a few light, teasing licks, probed at the sensitive slit with a burrowing tongue. The very faint pain of this only heightened the pleasure.

"Gii Gii..."

"You're not leaving me. Swear you won't leave me."

"Won't...leave you..."

Gii pushed his finger into Takumi's mouth, watching him suck on it for a few moments before nudging the slender legs apart. He penetrated Takumi with it as slowly as he could manage, wondering how a non-virgin could remain so tight. He ran the digit slowly along each silken wall before zeroing in on the prostate and beginning to rhythmically push against it.

"God...Gii..."

"Baby," Gii whispered, his usual tenderness shining through desperate fear.

"More, more..." Takumi groaned, writhing on the blankets.

Gii curled his finger around the gland and pressed hard, mercilessly. Takumi clapped a hand over his own mouth and screamed into it. His eyes rolled, back arched as he thrust into the glorious pressure. He was so hard that his cock felt almost disconnected, unlike the other skin and tissue. His hand went to it and began to stroke, expecting he would be stopped. Instead Gii's hand covered his, began to guide it.

"Yeah, baby, let me help you come. Let me see you do it. You like this?"

More pressure, Takumi was shaking in ecstasy already. Gii moved his hand up and down the shaft, ten fingers wrapped around it, slowly pumping and squeezing. Another finger pushed inside him, and the two trapped the prostate and tormented it. At the same time, the stroking hands increased speed.

"Gii!"

"Let go, baby."

Gii ducked down just in time to close his mouth around the organ before it started spurting. He sucked every last drop out, absently wondering if everyone tasted this good, but suspected it was just Takumi. He let it fall away from his lips to bend over Takumi's trembling form, massage stillness into the twitching limbs and muscles. At last he fell down next to him and held the boy close, face pressed into his hair, until Takumi looked up and kissed him.

"Baby, I'm sorry."

"Eh?"

"I jumped on you when you just wanted to talk."

"I wanted you, too. I always do."

Gii brushed fingers (cleaned ones) down his cheek. "Did I scare you?"

"No. I'm just worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Gii...you can't ask me not to love you as much as you love me. You're my whole life too. I just need to know you'll be okay, no matter what."

Gii sighed. "As long as I have you, I'm great. That's all I can promise."

"I guess we'll have to die on the same day, then."

"Same second. In the same bed."

"With grandkids bravely looking on."

"Not worried because they'll know we'll be together."

Takumi smiled. "I guess we don't need to worry about it yet."

"I think that's best. My control is hard enough to keep up even when I'm not thinking about losing you. Are you okay? Sore? Was I too rough?"

Takumi lightly smacked him. "You were perfect. It was wonderful."

"I've been wanting to watch you touch yourself."

The younger boy blushed faintly. "I've only done it a few times. But it's always better with you."

"Maybe I should get a replica of my dick made. It would be fun to watch you use it."

"Baka," Takumi grumbled, embarrassed. "I don't need one. I have the real you."

"We could leave it under Misu's pillow."

Takumi pressed his face to Gii's chest, to stifle the giggling he couldn't stop.

_tgtgtgtg_

The play had been a hit, reviewed favorably in both the school newspaper and the local one. Sakuma-kun took the many compliments given to him humbly but happily, and let it be known that he intended acting to be his profession. He even worked hard at his English so he could one day try his hand in Hollywood. A rumor spread like wildfire that he and his Romeo had begun to date, but Sakuma laughed it off, and showed the whisperers a picture of a girl at Hana Gakuin that he was intending to take to the upcoming dance.

The rest of Gii's fan club continued to vy for his favor, but more casually now than they had at the start of the year. Kandan found out from Gii what the couple's song was, and found this so touching that he couldn't help blabbing about it. Consequently, Gii and Takumi couldn't walk down a hallway without someone loudly playing it on their phone or iPod. They reacted with laughter, and even occasionally danced. Their classmates grew even more comfortable with Takumi, and for the most part, derision and sneering were things of the past.

Gii-fan Hondou-kun, a studious boy, was already thinking intently about college, and had a few conversations with Takumi about their shared wish to attend Tokyo University. Chubby and excitable Ishikawa started an anime club at Shidou and, to Takumi's embarrassment, got Gii to come to a meeting and answer yaoi-related questions from a homosexual perspective. ("It makes sense, baby, I know how the parts fit together.") Quiet and athletic Nomura offered to teach Takumi basketball, which the boy was surprisingly good at. Terazuma Shingou, the one who'd never warmed to Takumi, continued to watch him with a dark expression, and sometimes a smug smile.

The couple's friends Takabayashi and Yoshiwaza broke up quietly and with little fuss, remaining good friends. Misu and Shinyouji grew ever closer, and every so often Misu would even hold his hand in public, or scold him not to get too close to anyone else. All talk of pets and masters faded away, though Misu didn't seem to like the word "boyfriend" and avoided using it. Akaike mastered the English verb "to be," and a video of him dancing in celebration mysteriously appeared on the school's web site. Akaike correctly assumed Gii was the culprit, and punished him by volunteering him and some of their other friends to decorate the gym for the fast-approaching dance.

"Arata-san actually asked me to be his date," Shinyouji said happily as he and Takumi hung a streamer. "He actually used that word!"

"I'm happy for you. You make a good couple. Misu-kun sure has changed."

"I think he's just finally realized it's okay to have feelings and express them, to not always be logical. Maybe he learned it from you two."

Takumi laughed. "Misu-kun, learn from Gii? He'd be offended by the mere suggestion."

"Or he's just seen how happy you are, and wanted that for himself."

"We are happy."

Gii was across the large room, setting up tables with Akaike, Kandan, Nozawa and Ozawa. He noticed Takumi glance over, and blew him a kiss.

"We're very happy."

"Gii-senpai said both your parents are okay with you guys too."

Takumi nodded. "My mother adores Gii, and I think Dad's convinced too. Gii's parents have been wonderful to me." He fiddled with his cell phone, and held it out. "Look at the mural his mother had put on my bedroom wall."

"Wow, nice! Looks almost like Kurakawa's work. Wait, don't tell me..."

"Yep."

Shinyouji shook his head. "I should envy you the life you're going to have, Hayama-senpai, but if I were you, I wouldn't be sure I could handle it."

"I was worried too...but I'll be with Gii. So, I can face anything."

Shinyouji grabbed another streamer, and beamed at his friend. "Arata-san wants me to meet his parents over summer break."

"That's great! Do they know you're dating?"

"Who knows? Arata-san probably doesn't tell them anything. I hope I make a good impression. Got any advice about that?"

"Just let them know you love their son. That's what they'll care about the most."

"That should be easy. Arata-san says I stare at him...what was the word? Googly-eyed. I guess I do."

"What about your parents?" Takumi asked.

"That'll be tough," Shinyouji sighed. "They're very traditional. They expect me to marry and have kids. Marry a girl, I mean."

"Maybe they'll like Misu-kun once they see how much he cares for you."

Shinyouji turned slightly pink. "I hope so."

Gii came over, and helped Takumi down off his step-ladder. "Not flirting with Shinyouji-kun, are you?"

"Baka. You know I don't flirt."

"Yeah, right. The way you move your hips calls to me."

"Gii, not in public."

"Don't mind me," Shinyouji snickered as he tacked up an armful of balloons. "I'll just stare at Arata-san until he comes over and scolds me."

"Excellent. Kiss me, baby."

"Gii!"

"One kiss, and I'll be satisfied, for now."

Takumi pressed his lips to Gii's, sweetly but only for a few moments. Gii pouted playfully, leaving an arm around his waist.

"Will you at least spend the night with me?"

"I don't like making Misu-kun cover for me so often."

"He understands. I'm sure he does his own sneaking around."

"I wish," Shinyouji said glumly. "My roommate would report us if Arata-san stayed overnight with me."

"Sneak into his room, then. Takumi will be with me tonight."

"Gii, I didn't say yes yet."

A sound distracted them, one of the gym's three doors slamming shut, and a sound like something being shoved up against it. As Gii frowned, and Akake headed over to them, the same thing happened to the second exit.

"Gii," Akaike said, looking pale. "Just in case."

"On it." Gii rapidly punched a string of numbers into his phone. "Shouzou, remember your promise."

To Takumi's utter confusion, Akaike grabbed his arm and pulled him to the far wall, pushing him into a chair and standing in front of him. Takumi tried to go back to Gii, and was stopped.

"Akaike-kun, what - "

"We may not have much time, and there's nowhere in here to hide. I made Gii a promise, so listen to me. Something bad might be happening. If it is, it's my job to keep you safe. You don't talk, don't move, don't lift your head if you can help it. Don't stand out or be noticeable in any way, and pretend you and Gii don't know each other. Keep your face hidden as best you can. I'll protect you if I can, but if I can't, if you love Gii, you'll stay alive no matter the cost. Understood?"

Panic was rising in Takumi. He looked at Gii, who was staring at the third exit, listening to the movement outside.

"Akaike-kun..."

"It might be nothing. Just stay behind me, and try to be calm. It might just be a prank."

Takumi fervently hoped it was, that he and Gii were just getting locked in somewhere again. But Gii, level-headed Gii, had an alarm in his eyes as he quickly glanced over and mouthed 'I love you.' Did he think he could be saying it for the last time? Takumi leaped up, only to be shoved back down.

"Hayama, for Gii's sake, do what I tell you."

That did the trick. Takumi watched with growing fear as Misu hurried to Shinyouji and looped a protective arm around him, as Kandan whispered to Ozawa in confusion. The last door burst open. Four men walked in, three of them each with a strikingly different color of dyed hair, red, blue, and orange. The fourth - Takumi's stomach dropped to his feet - was an apprehensive but cocky Nozaki. Akaike swore under his breath, and blocked the boy from sight as best he could.

Red, clearly the leader, looked around with a bored expression. "Nobody move if you want out of here alive. Which of you is Saki Giichi?"

"Me," Kandan said quickly, bravely walking forward, but Gii stopped him.

"No, Kandan-kun, don't. I'm Saki Giichi. Just tell me what you want, and I'll do my best to oblige."

Red took a photo from his pocket, looked at it, and then Gii. "Good boy. Do what I tell you, and we won't have to shoot you and your friends."

"Aw, Boss, look. Lovebirds," Orange mocked, indicating Misu and Shinyouji.

"Sweet. If you two want to see your wedding day, don't try anything."

"We'll cooperate," Misu said quietly. "You don't need to hurt anyone."

Gii was eager to get the intruder's attention back to him. "I can make any ransom demands you want. How about you let everyone else go, though? I'll be easier for you to handle alone."

"I think we'll keep them as collaterel. Anyway, Nozaki-kun, is the one you want here?"

Gii went pale. "You. What are you doing here, and with them?"

"You hardly left me a choice," Nozaki hissed, coming forward. "Thanks to you, the cops raided us. My whole family's in jail, I have nothing, except my other yakuza friends."

"Gii," Takumi whispered.

"You've taken all I had. The least I can do is take what you value the most." Nozaki's steely eyes found Takumi. "Come here."

"You're not touching him," Akaike said lowly. He gave Gii a meaningful look, reminding him that for Takumi's sake, no one could know what the boy meant to him.

"Really?" Nozaki pulled a gun from his belt and aimed. "Willing to die for him?"

"Yes, I am."

"No!" Takumi quickly got past his protector. "Please, don't hurt anyone, I'll do anything you want."

Akaike, hands held up in surrender, hurriedly got to Gii's side, mouthing to him an apology. Takumi stopped breathing as Nozaki came close to him, eyes traveled down his body hungrily, and he saw peripherally that Akaike was literally holding Gii still.

"Miss me, baby?"

"I always knew you were a criminal. You've proven me right."

"You don't want to make me mad. I don't need any of your friends alive."

Takumi's anger quickly melted into pleading. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt them."

"So, this is the one you're claiming, Nozaki?" Red approached, stopping short when he saw Takumi and smiling a cold smile. "Change of plans. This one is _mine_."

_To be continued._


	14. Chapter 14

MORE AWFUL THAN MEN  
Chapter 14 - The Storm Is Over

"What? Red, we had an agreement. Takumi is my share of our profit. I agreed to get you in here because - "

"Shut up. Allow me to introduce myself." The criminal smiled predatorially. "Everyone calls me Red, for obvious reasons. So you're the famous Takumi. I can see why Nozaki is so obsessed. You're the prettiest thing I've seen in a long time."

Takumi was beginning to breathe heavily, and took a step back. Akaike had both arms restraining Gii now, and was whispering rapidly to him. Red came closer, touched a recoiling Takumi's cheek with a rough hand.

"Don't be scared. I can be very nice to those who cooperate. And I'm very gentle to my lovers, especially ones as damaged as you. Nozaki told me your big brother had you. I can make you forget all about that."

"Don't," Takumi begged as a hand wafted fingers through his hair.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" Gii shouted, after prying Akaike's hand from his mouth.

"Hmm? Or what, Saki? Is this someone important?"

"He's our friend," Akaike said quickly, but the enraged Gii couldn't stop.

"Or I'll kill you!"

"Really?"

Red pulled his gun from his belt and pressed the barrel to Takumi's head. The boy inhaled a gasping breath in terror, and swayed on his feet. Red steadied him, keeping an arm around his waist and pulling him close. Gii deflated instantly, dropped to his knees and spoke in desperation. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Don't hurt him. Please, I'll make any demands you ask, get any ransom you want. I'll call anyone you want, do anything, just please don't hurt Takumi."

"What's with them, Nozaki, lovers? Why didn't you tell me?" Red laughed, and took his gun away from Takumi, who looked ready to faint. "Don't be scared, honey, I won't hurt you as long as you all do what I say."

Orange ordered Ozawa, Nozawa and all the others closer, directing them to sit along the wall. Akaike remained near Gii, trying to softly encourage him, and Red maintained a grip on Takumi's arm and examined him with undressing eyes. Nozaki watched them, growing more furious by the moment. Blue checked the doors to make sure they were all locked, and confiscated everyone's cell phone but Gii's. Shinyouji buried his face in Misu's shirt, and was held closely by him.

"So, how close are you and the rich boy?" Red asked casually, turning his hostage to face him. "Do you let him fuck you, or would that remind you too much of your niisan?"

Takumi, gasping softly, stared at the floor and trembled.

"Nozaki said you're afraid of being touched. Is that why?"

Heavy breathing, no answer.

"Tell me, or I shoot someone."

"Yes," Takumi managed. "Yes, that's why."

Misu swore under his breath, and squeezed Shinyouji as the boy began to cry. Ozawa and Nozawa stared at Takumi with pale-faced horror and pity. Kandan was hiding his face in his hands.

"Poor baby," Red cooed, and ran his fingers down Takumi's cheek. "You just need a man who knows what he's doing, not some fumbling boy."

"Please...don't..."

"You look like a good lay, so innocent, like a virgin. Well, rich boy? Do you know how tight your pretty lover is?"

"Please." Still on his knees, face streaked with tears, Gii stared at the polished gym floor with a haunted expression. "Please, anything you want. Anything, just don't touch him."

"You're no fun. Fine." Dragging Takumi by the arm, Red approached the distraught Gii. "Who mainly handles your family's finances?"

"Sakurai Nobu, our head accountant."

"Call him, on speakerphone. Tell him a large sum of money will be being withdrawn soon, and if he tries to stop or delay it, someone dies."

Gii quickly and obediently dialed. Trained from childhood in how to handle such situations, he kept his voice almost steady as he explained to the Saki family friend exactly what was happening. He instructed Sakurai to not interfere with any transfers, and warned him not to try to involve the police. Red broke in after a minute.

"Tell him to call your daddy, tell him I want fifty million in American dollars, delivered by an unarmed man to the main door. When I get it, I'll let most of the hostages go. Rich boy, you'll be my safe passage out of here. When we're far away, I'll release you. Simple enough, right?"

Gii relayed all of this to Sakurai, who shakily promised to do as he was told. "Saki-kun, I'll need to be able to assure your father you're all right."

"I'm fine, really."

"Is Takumi-kun with you? Is he okay?"

Gii's mouth formed a hard line, a contrast to his continuing tears. "We'll all be okay, if you do as I asked. Good-bye, Sakurai-san."

"This is awesome," Blue said to Orange, stupidly scratching his head with his gun. "We're gonna be fucking rich."

"Already part of the family, aren't you?" Red said to Takumi. "I guess you and the rich boy are serious. You didn't answer my question. Has he fucked you yet?"

Feeling choked up, Takumi could only nod.

"How was it?"

Silence.

"Tell me."

"Perfect," the boy whispered. He couldn't look at Gii, couldn't handle Gii's fear on top of his own.

"How sweet. But you'll be singing a different tune once you've had me."

"Hey!" Gii struggled to a standing position, and was once again grabbed by Akaike. "I agreed to make any demands you want, and I will. I'll go with you as your hostage anywhere you want, willingly. Just leave Takumi out of this, it's me you want."

"It's you I need. You're cute, but not my type. I like little boys who look pure." Red smiled suggestively at a cowering Takumi. "What do you think, sweet thing? How'd you like an exciting life with a successful yakuza?"

"Red!" Nozaki finally exploded. "This isn't fair! I went through hell bribing Terazuma, getting you in here! You promised that as payment, Takumi would be mine! If you think you can just take him from me, then - "

Without so much as a blink, Red aimed and shot Nozaki in the head. As his dead body hit the floor, Takumi screamed and collapsed in a heap, hyperventilating as he stared with bulging eyes at the corpse. Gasps of disbelief were heard from all the hostages, and Blue laughed like it was the punchline to a joke. Shinyouji was wailing quietly, now curled up in Misu's lap.

"You should thank me, sweet thing. He was going to keep you tied to his bed and rape you every day. I'll be much gentler."

Staring at the body, Takumi didn't seem to hear. He had hated Nozaki, feared him, loathed him most of all for the pain he'd caused Gii, and maybe the young man had been beyond forgiveness or redemption. But he'd been a human being, a human who was once an innocent child, with a family who loved him and a world of possibility. Now he was just gone, as if he'd never existed, never mattered. Takumi, who'd had more cause to hate Nozaki than anyone, was the first to mourn his passing.

"Calm down, okay? It's no big loss." Red crouched down next to Takumi, touched and rubbed his thigh. "This is what happens to those who anger me. So, you want to make me happy, don't you?"

As Gii struggled against Akaike, Red slowly moved his hand between Takumi's legs and gently squeezed. He was looking intently at the boy, who seemed to be gazing through him, at something else just as frightening. Eyes wide with terror, Takumi continued to breathe in gasps.

"Ssh, don't be afraid, I won't fuck you just yet, and when I do, you'll beg me for more. Look at me, pretty thing."

Takumi's eyes met his, though he still seemed to be seeing something else.

"Open your legs a little more."

"Please...I can't..."

"Blue, if we shoot the rich boy just to wound him, you think he'd be easier to manage?"

"No!" Takumi sobbed, and unsteadily spread his thighs apart. "Just don't hurt Gii, I'll do anything."

Smiling with a horrifying contentment, Red unzipped the boy's jeans and slipped a hand inside them. Takumi shut his eyes and willed himself to go on living, not looking at Gii's crying despair, his pleas to Akaike to let him go. It might have been easier to pretend the hand cupping and stroking him was Gii's, but Takumi would not make his boyfriend part of this awful act. Unsurprisingly, he remained soft, but Red was apparently not surprised or discouraged.

"What's wrong, sweet thing? Only the rich boy can make you come?"

_Gii, survive. I will if you will. I'd do anything for you._

"I guess I need to be inside you after all."

Takumi's eyes flew open, and he dumbly shook his head.

"Don't be afraid, pretty. I'll make sure you like it."

_"Takumi, you'll like this."_

The boy's gasping quickly turned to heaving, his trembling to violent shaking. He was saying no over and over, to Red, to Naoto, to the present, to the past. There was blurry movement and shouting, and then thank the gods, somehow Gii was on the floor beside him, his soothing arms encircling Takumi.

"I didn't say you could move, rich boy."

"He's having a panic attack. Please, just let me hold him."

"Fine. He'd be no fun to fuck like this anyway." Red sighed. "I'm bored, I hate waiting. Guys, what do you think, should we shoot one just to show them we mean business?"

"Hell yeah!" Blue said enthusiastically.

"What do you say, rich boy? Want to pick who dies?"

Gii tried to look at the criminal calmly, worried because even in his embrace, Takumi wasn't settling down. "We've done everything you asked. You fire more shots, you make it more likely they'll send in SWAT. Your best chance for success is to keep us alive in exchange for the money."

"Smart kid. You and the pretty boy want to join us?"

Steely, contemptuous silence.

"I don't like your attitude, rich boy." Red pointed the gun at them. "Maybe I'll shoot you in the leg after all."

Wailing through his heavy breathing, Takumi clung to Gii as if doing so would protect him. Gii held him close, soothed him with caressing hands as best he could.

"Or maybe your boyfriend. After all, if I don't get to fuck him, no one should."

"I've got you," Gii whispered. "I'll never leave you. Where you go, I go. No matter where it is."

"After all, I'd just be putting a damaged thing out of its misery. Should I end your suffering, pretty boy?"

A sudden blast of sound exploded in the heavy air. A spray of blood spurted out of Red's chest, and he fell into a crumpled heap like old clothes. Blue and Orange did the same before anyone had time to react. When they were all dead, Takumi recovered from his shock enough to start screaming. Gii was so focused on trying to calm him that he barely noticed the armed men in black fanning out across the gym. A paramedic whose nametag said Suzu rushed over to the couple just as Takumi slumped in a dead faint.

"Hey, it's okay, kids, you're safe now. Was your friend injured?" Suzu was already feeling Takumi's limbs for damage.

"Not physically, the ringleader touched him. He has a phobia about being touched, and he fainted."

"Okay, let me check him. What are your names?"

"I'm Gii, this is Takumi. How did you guys..."

"SWAT got scrambled as soon as you used your alarm code. Snipers just had to wait for a clear shot. You kids did well, staying alive this long." Suzu checked Takumi's airway, heartbeat, pulse and blood pressure. "His pressure's low, he may be in shock. All you kids need to be taken to the hospital and checked, anyway."

"I'll do anything, as long as I don't have to leave Takumi."

"Good friend?"

"Boyfriend."

"Cute." Suzu smiled. "You can put him on the gurney, and ride with him in the ambulance."

Gii's vitals were checked as well, and he was pronounced agitated but otherwise okay. He kept both hands on Takumi during the ambulance ride, reassuring himself by repeatedly feeling the boy's heart and breathing, both normal now that he was unconscious. A police officer rode with them, and Gii explained to him everything that had happened. Like the paramedic, the detective told him he had done well by cooperating and staying alive.

"Is Nozaki dead?"

"The one who Red shot? Yes, he is. Did you know him?"

"Well enough to be relieved," Gii said, and quickly explained he and Takumi's history with the deceased boy. "The others are all okay, right?"

"No one was injured. Everyone needs to be examined, just to be sure, but I think you'll all be just fine."

The bumpy ride to the nearest hospital felt endless. When they finally arrived, Gii stepped out of the vehicle to find a surprise - his father, who hugged him with one arm, and with the other hand smoothed Takumi's hair away from his face.

"Thank God you're all right."

"I tried to do what you taught me."

Takeo smiled weakly. "Good boy. Is Takumi all right?"

"I think so. He fainted."

Frowning, Takeo waved over the nearest doctor, and gestured to Takumi. "This is my son-in-law. I want him in a private room, with a guard at the door until my own security arrives. Take care of him, and let my son ignore visiting hours, and I'll build you a new wing."

As they all headed inside the hospital, Gii thought he perhaps had never loved his father more.

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi was confused, but not much, not with the way dreams usually make sense when you're in them. He had never been in this area before, but somehow knew it even before he saw the signs among the trees that said Tachikawa Psychiatric Hospital. And he knew what day it was. Somehow the past smells different, and the afternoon was gloomy, overcast and gray with a light rain falling.

"Takumi! I'm sorry!"

He knew the voice, had once been comforted by it more than anything else. Takumi ran down the trails that wound through the trees, trying to follow the anguished cries to their source.

"Takumi! Forgive me!"

"Niisan!" the boy called back, looking widly around. "Where are you?"

"Takumi!"

He ran for what seemed like hours, then turned a corner and stopped short. Ahead of him on the path, Hayama Naoto was looking sadly at the gray sky, blue pajamas wet and feet caked with mud. As he saw his little brother hesitantly approach, the young man's haunted expression turned to one of relief.

"Takumi. You're all right?"

"Niisan..." All his old, buried love for his big brother rose up in Takumi, threatened to choke him and filled his eyes. "I'm okay."

"You've gotten so big." Naoto blinked at his own tears, to no avail. "Takumi. I'm so, so sorry."

"Niisan..."

"I didn't realize, for a long time, how much I was hurting you. When I finally did, I think I snapped. Death was a release from that misery, but I still..."

"Niisan." Takumi found himself getting closer. "I forgive you. I think I can forgive you now."

Smiling, Naoto reached for his younger sibling, slowly, giving him time to leap back or refuse. Takumi did neither, and instead stepped into the arms that enfolded him, innocently now. The rain around them faded away, Naoto's soaked clothes instantly dried and warmed, and the heart Takumi was pressed to beat stronger now than it ever had in life. A hand rubbed the boy's back, smoothed his hair, and there was nothing in those touches but familial love.

"Takumi, I'm so sorry. I love you so much. Believe that I always have."

"I do. Niisan, you should know that I'm with someone. His name is Gii, and he's wonderful. I have friends now, great friends that accept me, and I think I'll even be okay with Mother from now on."

"I'm so glad. I'll be keeping an eye on this Gii, though. I need to make sure he's worthy of my baby brother." Naoto held Takumi by the shoulders and looked into his eyes. "You've become so strong. I was so afraid I had broken you for good. But you're happy?"

"Yes, and with Gii, I always will be. Niisan, don't feel guilty anymore. I want you to be at peace wherever you are...where are you? It isn't a bad place, is it?"

"It's not bad. The only one who torments me is myself, and now...I think I can stop doing that. I can go on to my next life, or stay and watch you grow up from here." Naoto touched his cheek. "I'll be at your wedding, even if you can't see me."

"Niisan." Takumi hugged him tightly, was squeezed back. "I love you."

"You should wake up now. He's waiting for you."

Takumi's surroundings faded, into the bright darkness of eyes closed against light. He blinked them open to find a white room he immediately placed as a hospital. Before he could move or speak, Gii was bent over him with a relieved smile. A hand caressed his face, and he pressed his mouth to the palm.

"Baby, I was worried, you slept so long. How do you feel?"

Memory flooded Takumi half a second before panic did. He flew up and launched himself into Gii's arms, which wrapped tightly around him. Gii soothed him, kissed him, let him tremble as long as he needed to.

"They're all dead, and our friends are all fine. Terazuma confessed to helping Nozaki and has been expelled. Shidou will probably get a lot of hell for its lax security, and we may be followed by bodyguards for a while, but everything's going to be okay. How do you feel?"

"Heavy. Tired."

"They put something in your drip, said you were in shock," Gii explained, indicating the IV in his arm. "Do you want anything?"

"Just you."

Gii kissed his neck, laughed a warm vibration against it. "I want you too, but we better not. I'd be afraid of accidentally pulling the needle out."

"Just keep touching me."

"You need never ask." Gii kissed the top of his head. "Your parents are on their way, hopefully not to blame me for this and drag you away."

"They won't."

"And my parents are here. Dad wants to take us both to America for a little while, he thought you could use a vacation. Feel up to it?"

"As long as I can be with you," Takumi whispered. "Gii, I saw my brother."

"What? While you were asleep?"

"It felt real. Gii, he was really sorry. I've finally forgiven him. I feel like a thousand pounds of weight has fallen off my heart."

Gii smiled. "I guess I better work on not hating him, then."

"He said he'll be watching us."

"Not our intimate moments, I hope. The only person I'd let see that is Misu, just to rub in his face what he can't have."

"Baka," Takumi murmured, and lightly smacked him.

"But I'm your baka."

The boy smiled tearfully. "And always will be."

_tgtgtgtg_

Takumi's parents, to the couple's relief, did not blame Gii for what had happened, instead fervently thanked him for doing all he could to protect their son. Tetsuya agreed with Takeo that Takumi could use a little time away from Shidou to recuperate, and hesitantly gave his permission for Takumi to go to America.

It was a trip he'd never forget. Takumi spent nearly two weeks with Gii's family in their New York City penthouse, looking around in awe as Gii excitedly led him around the city. As Gii had predicted, they were tailed by two beefy bodyguards, both of whom were nice and unobtrusive. The young lovers saw Romeo and Juliet performed at a theater in Central Park, strolled through the gardens there, visited restaurants of all kinds and a tiny ramen place whenever Takumi was feeling homesick.

New York reminded the boy of Tokyo, but even more vibrant, and so international. Saki family friends were eager to meet him, and because Gii had cautioned them, most restrained themselves from hugging Takumi. They all pronounced the shy boy even cuter than his pictures, and were complimentary when he spoke to them in halting English. Days were a whirlwind of parties, shopping, visiting tourist sites, even getting a tour of the New York Times headquarters. Nights were for much-needed de-stressing and relaxation, for spoon-feeding each other fancy desserts while they lounged in their adjoining bedrooms in pajamas.

"Gii, what was that thing today?"

"Hmm?"

"That package you got."

"Oh. Um, tea?"

"Tea?"

"I'm Japanese. I like tea."

"It better not be something for me."

"Aw, you hardly let me buy you anything."

Takumi shook his head. "I've been relaxed about that, Gii, and you know it. You made me bring an extra suitcase and you've already filled it."

"Well, you needed the suit for that one party."

"I didn't need one custom made."

"You looked hot in it."

"Is that why you ripped it off me the second we got back here?"

"Yep." Gii reached under Takumi's top to touch his stomach. "My favorite outfit of yours is nothing at all."

"Gii, you're going to spill the creme brulee on me."

"That would be a shame. Then you'd have to take your clothes off."

"Gii!" Takumi laughed, and moved the dish to the bedside table. "If you're going to force me into two-hundred-dollar pajamas, at least don't ruin them. And don't think I'm letting this behavior continue. Once we get home, no more gifts."

"Aw, please? I love buying you stuff."

"I told you, I don't need anything but you."

Gii pressed a long, gentlemanly kiss to his hand. "Did you call your dad back?"

"Yeah, while you were in the shower." Takumi groaned. "Guess what Mother is doing with Niisan's room."

"A playroom for her grandchildren?"

"How did you know?"

"Really? I guess I just know my in-laws well." Gii looked thoughtful. "Maybe, by the time you're ready, male pregnancy will be possible."

"Gii!"

"What? You'd look so sexy pregnant."

"Why do I automatically have to carry our hypothetical children? You do it."

"That's unbecoming of a seme."

"Are you calling me an uke? Prepare to be punished!"

Takumi grabbed a pillow and whacked Gii in the face with it. Gii gleefully retaliated, and an epic, feather-filled fight ensued. The elder nearly broke a vintage Tiffany lamp but was undaunted, continuing by tickling Takumi until the two of them fell onto the carpet in a tangled heap. Takumi looked at his boyfriend with absolute contentment as a warm hand stroked his cheek.

"Happy, baby?"

"Like every bad thing that ever happened to me has been erased."

"The past is finally the past," Gii murmured.

"The past is at peace."

_tgtgtgtg_

The interested and curious stares resumed once the couple was back at school. The friends who had gone through the ordeal were tight-lipped, but Terazuma had passed on through friends the little he knew, after he was expelled. The students, once they knew the late Nozaki had been involved, seemed to guess Takumi had been hurt, and many of them gently asked how he was, if he had enjoyed America. An emotional Kandan had to be pried off Takumi and again reminded about the no-touching rule, but first, Takumi hugged him back.

Something good came out of the trauma - Misu and Shinyouji were a public and official couple. Misu was not lovey-dovey and never would be, but he held the younger boy's hand often, and sometimes hugged and kissed him in front of other students. Shinyouji had been shaken badly by the hostage situation and was seeing the school counselor daily, but with a gentle Misu by his side, he seemed to be recovering. Yoshizawa and Takabayashi got back together, both having been miserable apart; it seemed this spring that young love really was everywhere. Life was too precarious, too bitter, to be alone.

Gii briefly sulked over Akaike's behavior during the frightening event, how he'd held him back from Takumi, but could never stay mad at his best friend for long. He even helped re-decorate for the dance that, Shidou had decided, would be put on after all. Gii told Takumi he'd understand a refusal to set foot in that room again, but Takumi insisted he'd be fine, and laughed that he wasn't letting his expensive new suit go to waste.

He looked stunning, as did Gii, when they entered the gym hand in hand, Takumi in black and Gii in charcoal gray. A few friends jokingly whistled at them, then went back to the interesting sight of serious Misu slow-dancing with a beaming Shinyouji. The well-dressed girls from Hana Gakuin cooed over Takumi and Gii and quickly whipped out their phones to take pictures. One in a green sailor-style dress ran up to the couple squeeing, followed by a stressed-looking Akaike.

"Shouzou! He's even cuter than you described! Hello, I'm Miku, and you are adorable!"

Fighting the urge to hide behind Gii, Takumi bowed and murmured his name and a pleasantry. His boyfriend slipped a comforting arm around him, which made the girl bounce with delight and aim her phone at them.

"You are so my new wallpaper. Giichi-kun, aren't you going to greet me?"

"Konban wa, Miku. Please don't blow anything up tonight."

"I wasn't going to! Anyway, they confiscated my oxidizer at the door. I just want to watch you lovebirds together and maybe get Shouzou to dance with me. He's very good, you know."

"I know, he's the one who taught me."

"Gii, did he really?" Takumi asked.

A smile. "I wanted to be ready for you."

Miku shrieked and zoomed off, saying something about getting a better angle, and startled the DJ by jumping onto his platform. Takumi held back a giggle as Akaike sighed, smiling but looking very put-upon.

"I'd better keep an eye on her. By the way, avoid the punch. She's doing some kind of social experiment and dumped grain alcohol into it."

"That should make things interesting," Gii commented as Akaike walked away. "Miku always does."

"I think I like her."

"Do her a favor, then, and dance with me."

Though still unconfident about his ability, Takumi agreed to take part in every slow dance. Gii jealously would not let anyone else partner with him, but he need not have worried, as Takumi only had eyes for him. Misu jokingly tried to cut in just to anger Gii, and Takumi had to kiss him a long time to make him calm again.

"I swear, that guy - "

" - will never be anything more than my friend, Gii. Remember. All I need is you."

Another kiss, and the teenager was smiling again. When about half an hour of the party remained, Gii turned to the DJ and made a flapping motion with his hand. Before Takumi could ask what that was about, the other attendees were quickly moving toward the left and right walls, leaving the couple alone in the center of the floor.

"Gii?"

The elder's arms around his waist held Takumi close, and he smiled blissfully. The song that had been playing stopped, and Takumi recognized the melody that started. "A Thousand Years," their song, but it wasn't a woman singing it. It was Gii's beautiful voice, crooning the translation of it he'd once sung to Takumi. The younger boy gaped at him, near tears as they began to dance.

"Gii..."

Gii kissed him, so slowly and sweetly and gently that Takumi forgot they had over a hundred observers, many of them girls who were quietly but obviously enjoying this. As they kissed, as Gii sang to him, Takumi was distracted by the feel of something cool moving down one of his fingers, and coming to rest snugly at the base. He drew back to look down, and found himself gazing at a platinum ring, its band encircled with tiny diamonds, and his and Gii's names engraved with a heart between them.

"G-Gii..."

"You told me you'd say yes, when the time came. So...will you?"

The slight hint of uncertainty in Gii's voice wiped away any desire to delay. Tears streaming out, Takumi grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Of course I will. I've always been yours, and I want everyone to know it."

Whooping, Gii lifted Takumi up and spun him around. "Guys, he said yes!"

The crowd around them broke into wild applause, and happy crying on the part of some of the girls (and Kandan). Akaike called, "Miku, now!" Takumi didn't see what she did, but the mass of balloons covering the high ceiling began to fall, and halfway down, half of them burst and spilled white and green confetti all over the place.

The room was alive with joy, and the crowd surged back into the center so its members could shake the newly engaged couple's hands, pat them on the back, hug them. Beaming, Takumi had no thought of being anxious, his eyes on Gii and the ring on the hand Gii was holding. There were touching hands everywhere, but for once, nothing scary about them. It was an exhilaration Takumi knew he'd never forget.

Not in a thousand years.

_tgtgtgtg_

**14 Years Later**

It was a beautiful summer day in Central Park, blue sky hanging over endless green. The grove of cherry trees, a recent addition, was a popular spot for Japanese expatriates to visit, and there was a little half-Asian girl racing around them. Her kite didn't have much room to fly, but she seemed to be having fun. A pair of handsome, hardly-aged young men watched her from a bench, while the toddler boy between them waved a stuffed giraffe to make it squeak.

"What time do they need you for rehearsal?"

"By six at the latest. Being first-chair gives me a little wiggle room, but not much."

"Considering how successful you are as a solo artist, they should be happy to have you at all. Maybe I should just buy the orchestra."

"Not if you want to keep sleeping in the same bed as me."

Gii pouted. "I say we play hooky. The board can do without me for one meeting."

"One? You skipped last week. The hot tub, remember?"

Gii smiled seductively. "Oh, I remember all right. My tongue is still sore."

"Baka."

"Touchan called Papa baka!" the little boy gleefully yelled.

"Yeah, Takumi, you're setting a bad example."

"I'm sorry, Kaoru. I won't say it again."

"Or you go to time-out," the toddler proclaimed, and began chewing on his toy. Like his sister, he was the product of a Russian surrogate, biologically Gii's as the girl was Takumi's. The older child approached her fathers, pouting like Gii and dragging a broken kite.

"I need a new one!"

"That's three just this week, Himeko," Takumi said patiently. "Maybe you should try frisbee or something." He spoke in English, as he was fluent now, and the children were bilingual.

"But Touchannnnn..."

"We'll get you a new one before your piano lesson."

"Gii..."

"What?"

"You're being too indulgent. You already gave her three new dolls this month."

"Um, four. She's our princess, we _have_ to spoil her."

"I was going to be the fun parent," Takumi sighed, letting Kaoru grab and drool on his thumb. "I talked to Shinyouji. Misu's just been made head of the neurosurgery department."

"Damn, at his age?"

"Language, Gii. It's not really surprising for someone who breezed through medical school in two years."

Gii hmphed. "Don't be so impressed by him, baby. Is Shinyouji still running that kendo school?"

"Yeah, and his top student is expected to become the national champion."

"We should have them over next time we're home, to catch up. Kaoru, do you want to see Uncle Misu again?"

"Wet!"

"Does that mean you're wet, or you want me to dump water on Misu again? Because I totally can."

"No, you can't, Gii," Takumi said firmly, feeling the baby's diaper. "Yeah, he needs to be changed. You handle that, I'll corral the princess."

"Kiss me first."

With a laugh, Takumi pressed his lips to Gii's. Kaoru made gleeful noises; like his sister, he seemed to love it when his fathers showed each other affection, even though he saw it every day.

"Touchan and Papa kissin'," he sang. "Silly!"

"When you're thirty and allowed to date," Gii laughed, "you'll understand."

Takumi went to Himeko, who agreed to leave without a fuss if he would buy her an Italian ice. Truthfully just as unable to say no as Gii, Takumi agreed and let the nine-year-old lead him to the concession stand. As the girl chose flavors for herself and the rest of her family, Takumi opened his wallet and smiled at the photos tucked inside.

Wedding pictures, snapshots of the children when they were born, one of the four of them together. And one of Takumi at age five, grinning broadly from a seat on his brother's lap. It was the only thing from Naoto's room he had kept.

**Owari.  
December 19, 2013  
1:00 a.m.**


End file.
